


Pastel Darklord

by Dracoduceus



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Cock Rings, Crack Treated Seriously, Dirty Talk, Discussion of Sex Toys, Discussions of sexism, Dream Sex, Feelings, Fingering, Genji Shimada is a Little Shit, Hypothermia, I REGRET NOTHING, Implied Misgendering, Implied hobble belt, M/M, Mutual Pining, Non-Explicit Animal Death, Oops, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Pegging, Penetrative Sex, Prostate Massage, Rimming, Ring gag, Rope Bondage, Swans, Trans Male Character, True Love's Kiss, author being a dick, halfhearted bondage, happy endings, implied one-sided pining, mentions of gore, monster dildo, oh did I forget to mention that this was porny?, shameless references to The Swan Princess, smooches, swangst, swanzo, swanzo is thirsty, under-negotiating scenes, using traditionalism as an excuse to be an asshole, wildlife rescue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-05-29 18:12:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 60,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15078800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dracoduceus/pseuds/Dracoduceus
Summary: Hanzo has been turned into a swan and he is not thrilled at all.On the plus side, his handler is a very attractive man.--Jesse is not thrilled to be taking care of a swan, much less one as aggressive as the one he was sent to rescue from a local park for attacking someone, but he doesn't have it in him to turn down an animal in need.He's also been dreaming a lot lately. Dreaming of a very attractive man that always seemed to be waiting for him at the shores of the lake...





	1. A Curse

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SchweenWinchester](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SchweenWinchester/gifts).



> I'd apologize but I'm not even sure that I'm that sorry. 
> 
> ~~Blame~~ Thanks can be directed to the Target Practice Discord for this monstrosity. But for real I had a lot of fun writing this even though I got stuck a bunch of times. Extra thanks to [SchweenWinchester](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SchweenWinchester) for making sure Hanzo birds as well as can be expected and that I didn't do anything stupid. And for making sure that I put baby in pelican mouth. Additional thanks to [Lyall_Lupa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyall_Lupa/pseuds/Lyall_Lupa) and [tinyforestshark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyforestshark/pseuds/tinyforestshark) for threatening to picket my apartment and/or trying to bribe me with things to get me to start/finish this piece.

Panting, Hanzo stood over the prone body of the wizard before him.

Truly it was tragic – he was just a young man after all – but he had been dabbling in things he shouldn’t have and had no concept of the consequences of his actions. Had no concept of all of the rules of magic that he had broken for his little prank, of the lives he had ruined.

Rolling his neck, Hanzo stood to his full height and stretched, ignoring the sticky feeling of the wizard’s blood on his hands. Sloppy; he hadn’t moved completely out of the way of the blood spray and now some of it speckled his sleeves and soaked his hands.

_ Very _ sloppy.

Sighing, Hanzo went to the sink and washed off quickly, relieved to find that the blood came out with only a little bit of coaxing. What he would do with the body he wasn’t sure but he had half a mind to leave it outside to rot.

But this wasn’t the Middle Ages and he wasn’t so honorless as to deny the young man a proper burial. However…that at least could wait. Hanzo could see the horizon lightening and he felt the urge to greet the sun as a human for the first time in what felt like years but was in reality only a few short days.

He climbed out on the roof and sat at the very peak, hugging his knees as he watched dark blues and violets give way to orange and pink and gold as the first few rays of the sun peeked above the distant trees.

Then he cried out in rage and horror as he was surrounded in a swirl of gold and silver magic.

When the magic finally released him and he stood on his two legs once more, Hanzo tilted his head back and screamed to the sky. It came out as a low, rattling hiss.

* * *

Jesse woke to the shrill sounds of his phone ringing and some kind of children’s movie playing on the television screen. Fumbling for his phone, he groaned when he saw who was calling and answered.

“Pendejo!” Liv yelled at him. “ _ Where  _ are _ you? _ ”

Grunting, Jesse pushed himself into a sitting position and blinked blearily at the screen. “Um…on the couch?”

On the other end of the line, Liv groaned. “ _ You got drunk again last night, didn’t you? _ ”

Jesse didn’t deny it, stretching with a groan. “Ain’t hungover,” he muttered though his tongue felt drier than the Mojave.

“ _ Whatever…wait…what are you watching? _ ”

He peered at the screen, forcing his tired eyes to focus. “I dunno, some kid’s movie.” Liv huffed on the other end. “Got a weird-lookin’ prince.”

On the screen, an older character with long white hair screamed, “‘ _ What else is there?! _ ’”

“Look it up yourself,” Jesse groaned as he pushed himself to his feet.

Liv snorted. “ _ You should write a book _ ,” she said. “ _ How to offend a woman in five syllables or less _ .”

A moment later the same character said that on the screen and Jesse groaned, turning it off. “What do you want?” he stumbled to his closet and found that all of his pants were missing. Turning, he found them scattered on the floor next to his empty hamper. He picked up the nearest one and gave it a quick sniff.

“ _ We got a situation here, _ ” Liv said on the phone.

Jesse grunted, discarding the ones in his hands and checking the next. Deciding it didn’t smell  _ too _ terrible, he tugged them on over his boxers and went fishing around for a clean shirt. “No shit, Liv,” he muttered. “That’s why you’re calling me during my off hours.”

He could  _ feel _ her rolling her eyes. “ _ Well, we got a…particularly ornery swan here. _ ”

“Swans are devil birds,” Jesse pointed out. “They’re always crotchety.”

Liv huffed. “ _ Well, he allegedly attacked a child and the mother took a swing with her purse. _ ” Jesse winced. While it was true that swans were cruel creatures, they didn’t necessarily attack without some sort of stimulus…even if it was someone being where they weren’t supposed to be. And he could understand the mother’s concern – swans bit and their wings were dangerous if used to club someone.

“And I’m supposed to chase a possibly injured swan?” he asked with a heavy sigh.

“ _ Thank you for volunteering! _ ” Liv said brightly and Jesse groaned. “ _ I’m texting you the address now. _ ”

She laughed as he swore fitfully at her. The phone beeped as she hung up and a moment later his phone buzzed with a text. Tossing the phone on his bed, he jumped in the shower when he realized that his chest hair was sticky with beer and sweat.

Ten minutes later he was climbing into his truck and driving down the road, not at all looking forward to dealing with a grumpy, injured swan.


	2. Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does definitely earn the "E" rating. Male terms are used for Hanzo but unless it was necessary I tried to be a bit vague about it. Please let me know if there are any additional tags you would like me to include.

In the end Jesse knew that he was lucky that he had gotten off with only a black eye from the swan but it still stung…his pride as well as a sharp physical pain.

Liv had just about laughed herself sick when she saw him wrestling the dratted creature in. Honestly it had been almost pure luck that he had been able to trap the thing in a wire dog cage but it would be better if it didn’t still try to bite and peck at his fingers while he carried it into the clinic.

If swans could talk, he was sure that this one would be using quite colorful language.

Eventually they were able to subdue and sedate it enough to be examined. Liv and the dispatch report both indicated that the woman had struck the swan multiple times with her purse and had also kicked it. While they were sturdy animals, that was still a lot of trauma and witnesses had indicated that it had walked off holding its wings funny.

Jesse had noticed that too as he caught to swan and wished he had known ahead of time so he wouldn’t have squeezed it. As he slumped into a chair and held a bag of frozen peas to his black eye, he wondered about the swan.

“No breaks,” one of the technicians told him cheerfully as she left the exam room. “He’s quite the ornery thing isn’t he?”

“Swans are devil birds,” Jesse told her tiredly.

She hissed through her teeth. “Did he do that to you?”

Jesse lifted the peas and showed her his swollen eye. “Quite the shiner, huh?”

He winced when she pressed her fingers to the bruise. “You might want to go to the doctor later,” she suggested. “If the swelling doesn’t go down or you have difficulty seeing out of that eye.” She tapped the ridge of her brow. “The frontal bone is pretty sturdy but so are swan wings. And it’s swollen pretty badly.”

“Thanks,” Jesse told her weakly. “And the swan?’

She shrugged. “Bruising but no breaks,” she said. “He’ll be nursing them but he should be fine to release. But…” she bit her lip as the door to the exam room opened and Lúcio, the vet on schedule, poked his head out.

“Hey cowboy,” he said cheerfully. “Can I borrow you?”

When Jesse looked at the technician she smiled sheepishly and fled. Groaning, he got to his feet and shuffled into the room. Immediately the swan, albeit drugged and in a cage, hissed and rattled the aluminum bars with its beak. He was intrigued to see that there was a small padlock on the bar holding the cage shut – something he normally saw in pet shops but he supposed that swans were probably clever enough to open their own cages.

“Bruises but no breaks,” Lúcio told him cheerfully. “He’ll be favoring those wings for a while. What I’m concerned about is that he doesn’t seem to have much of a flapping response.”

Jesse squinted at the vet and pointed at his eye with the hand that held the frozen peas. “He seems like he had quite an arm to him.”

Lúcio shrugged. “Well yes,” he agreed. “But that’s about it. He _hits_ but he doesn’t flap.”

Thinking, Jesse put the bag of frozen peas, which were beginning to melt, back over his eye. It was true that the entire time the swan hadn’t tried to fly away – more than once the option had been there. He had just assumed that the swan’s wing had truly been broken.

But…

If one wing was broken it might still flap with the other. The swan hadn’t even tried except to flare its uninjured wing to make it seem larger. And of course use the uninjured one to hit him.

And it had run…or waddled. Swans could _move_ when they were so inclined and this one did, charging at and away from Jesse as he tried to get away and evade capture.

No flapping, not even when Jesse had picked it up; it had just tried to _push_ him away in a way that reminded him more of punches or slaps rather than proper beats of its wings.

Lúcio scratched his nose thoughtfully. “We did an x-ray but there doesn’t seem to be any issues with bone growth or things that would keep him from flapping.” He paused as the swan hissed angrily and rattled his cage again.

“Testy little shit,” Jesse muttered. “Ain’t he?”

The vet shrugged. It took a lot to shake him from his calm stance. “We gave him something for the pain and we want to keep an eye on that wing to make sure he doesn’t hurt it anymore. We also want to monitor him to see if he shows any signs of flapping. I suppose it’s possible that he’s someone’s pet that got loose and that he just lacks that skill but…” Lúcio rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “If he was around other swans then he should have that skill – and I believe it’s an instinctual skill too so even if he were human-raised and not taught _how_ to fly, he should also have that response.”

Jesse adjusted the frozen peas on his eye and made a face as condensation dripped down his arm. “So why are you telling _me_?” He groaned when Lúcio only smiled sheepishly. “No…Lú…”

“You have a large property!” Lúcio told him quickly. “ _And_ an area that he could be safe! _And_ a pond!” he gestured to the swan who hissed again and rattled the bars of his cage. “I would normally send him back to where you found him but if he’s this aggressive he might attack another kid or worse, something that can do him a lot more harm. We also don’t have a spot for him here that we could keep him away – again – from things that would fight back or hurt him if he’s aggressive. We also can’t release him because not only is he still injured but he doesn’t seem to be able to fly.”

Sighing, Jesse waved away the explanation. “I know, I know,” he muttered. “I’m just…not the happiest with him right now.”

Lúcio laughed. “I don’t blame you, but can you blame _him_?”

The swan hissed, flaring his uninjured wing. He rattled the door to his cage again and now Jesse understood why there was a padlock holding the bar shut.

“Yes,” Jesse replied flatly.

* * *

The swan hissed at him the entire ride back to his house but it didn’t seem too inclined to rattle his cage again. He would almost call it subdued if it weren’t for the steady glare he received during the entire drive.

It pecked him when he reached for the cage and hissed again, his feathers fluffing up to make himself seem larger.

“You’re in a cage, buddy,” Jesse told him as he gently eased the cage out of the backseat. As much as he hated the thing he didn’t want to rattle it around too much. “I ain’t afraid of you…at least not right now.” The swan eyed him and pecked at his fingers again but now seemed more focused on keeping his balance while he and his cage were lifted and moved. “Ow!” Jesse cried and looked down at the swan who seemed…smug.

Bastard.

“That’s my tit!” Jesse scolded, holding the cage away from his body so a repeat performance would not be attempted. The swan hissed.

Grumbling, Jesse put the cage down on the grass and closed the car door. “You’re a heavy little shit,” he muttered, rubbing his lower back. “You gotta wait here a bit while I clean out your new home.” The swan hissed and rattled his cage again as Jesse walked away.

He’d been given the house and land by his Pa, who still owned and operated the wildlife rescue further down the road. The privacy fences – over eight feet tall – had been installed to keep the various other animals (or at least most of them) from invading his yard. Despite this (and sometimes _because_ of this, in the swan’s case) he was “awarded” animals that required solitude to heal.

As a part of the “gift” of the house, he had been given a large outdoor cage that Pa had been using to rehabilitate a pair of foxes when Jesse was growing up. It had sat more or less unused except for a few short-term overnight cases.

It didn’t take much to clean out: a quick rinse with the hose got the accumulated leaves and dust off of the various perches and ladders and he removed the food bowls to be scrubbed and properly cleaned. There was some trash in there as the perches decayed from lack of use and he found a “gift” from the last inhabitant to borrow the cage which, with the hose, took only a moment to clean away.

Cleaned, he double-checked the entire closure to make sure there weren’t any pieces falling out and that all of the supports and wire walls were sturdy enough to hold his new charge. Grabbing a stiff broom he scrubbed and rinsed out the small pond in the enclosure and filled it with water when it was clean.

Grumbling at the heat that made his clothes stick to his body, he unbuttoned his uniform shirt and yanked it and his undershirt over his head, leaving it draped over the edge of the outdoor basin to dry. He could clean out the enclosure shirtless but he’d need to get dressed again to deal with the swan.

Taking his phone out of his pants, he sprayed himself with cool water from the hose, slicked his wet hair back, and left the hose in the enclosure to fill the small pond. It wouldn’t be the most satisfying for the swan – it being too small for him to float very far – but it was at least something. After a quick scrub to the metal food bowls he replaced them and turned to face the swan who was…oddly subdued and staring quite intently at Jesse.

Pulling on his undershirt – and making a face at the way it clung, wet with sweat, to his body – Jesse pulled on his gloves and lifted the cage.

The swan didn’t move and seemed to be eyeing Jesse’s chest as if debating whether or not to bite him again. He also didn’t protest as he placed the cage in the larger enclosure and left to turn off and coil the hose.

For once it seemed that the swan was…meek? He slipped out of the cage and waddled over to the pond where he immediately jumped in, completely ignoring Jesse – _finally_.

_Still,_ Jesse reflected as he crept out of the enclosure door with the cage. _It was rather odd_.

The bolt for the door was heavy, even as strong as swans were, so he didn’t bother putting a padlock on. Even then…there wasn’t far that the swan could go if he couldn’t fly. With a last glance at the creature, he left him to his own devices in favor of a nice cool shower.

* * *

For lunch Jesse brought out a bowl of diced melon and grapes for the swan and ate lunch under the awning of his outdoor deck. Despite the shade it was still hot enough for him to be dripping sweat but the breeze was nice enough that he didn’t mind it too much.

The swan hissed at him and seemed to be favoring his injured wing but was in good enough spirits to snap his beak through the bars at Jesse.

“Got a taste for the flesh of man, huh?” Jesse muttered. Much to his surprise, the swan shook himself off and retreated to the pond, ignoring the fruit he offered him. “Fine; be that way.” The swan hissed again but otherwise seemed to be ignoring him, paddling in little circles on the still surface of his little pond.

With a sigh, Jesse eased himself into the chair and picked at his lunch. He kept an eye on the swan as well and noted that he wasn’t eating…but the vets said that it might be a side-effect of the sedatives they had given him.

If the swan hadn’t eaten by the next day, he would become concerned, Jesse decided. Stripping off his shirt again, Jesse leaned back in his chair to enjoy the cool breeze on a hot summer day. He ignored that he could feel the swan’s beady black eyes on him like a physical touch.

* * *

That night he checked on the swan again and found that it had eaten the fruit offering he had provided. He brought a flat tray of grass and more fruit for dinner but as he had before, the swan wouldn’t come near him.

Odd considering how aggressive he had been before.

Shaking his head, Jesse went back inside for his own dinner and for a few strong drinks to warm his icy bones.

That night, as he had many nights before, he dreamt. He stood and moved to the window of his bedroom that looked out over his large backyard. In the distance he could see the rest of the animal rescue and the trees that ringed it. The crescent lake gleamed silver in the moonlight, broken by the jagged shadows of trees and on the stretch of shore by Jesse’s portion of the property, by a small floating dock.

There was a man on the dock, but that wasn’t _too_ unusual in Jesse’s dreams.

He climbed down the stairs and out the door, hyper aware of the feeling of the grass beneath his bare feet and then the packed dirt path that led to the dock and then the cool wood. The man sat with his legs in the water, staring across the lake at the distant shore and the dark trees beyond.

As with many of Jesse’s dreams that started off like this, the man was naked and his skin gleamed wet and slick in the moonlight but Jesse couldn’t tell if it was sweat from a warm summer night or from taking a swim in the lake. His long hair, which fell to the middle of his back, _seemed_ dry though, but Jesse wasn’t sure.

He found that he didn’t much care as he carefully made his way down the bobbing dock toward the man.

“Nice night,” Jesse said to the man who didn’t turn around. “May…may I join you?”

The man turned and looked at him. He had a regal nose and dark eyes that appeared black in the darkness of the night. “You may,” he said and Jesse sat down beside him. “Well?” the man asked when Jesse said nothing more, kicking his leg through the water of the lake.

“‘Well’ what?” Jesse asked, confused.

The man turned to look at him. “You’re not going to ask anything else?”

Jesse shook his head. “I know better than to ask too much.”

For a long moment the man didn’t say anything, regarding him with an unreadable expression on his face. “Hmm,” the man said and turned back to watching the play of the silver moon on the water.

At last the man jumped into the water and turned, submerged up to his collarbones as he stood along the relatively shallow bottom of the lake. “Join me?” he asked.

Gripping the back of his collar, Jesse yanked his shirt over his head and slipped in with his boxers still on. The man swam away with a teasing smile and laughing, Jesse chased after him. They played that game for a while, “tagging” each other with touches beneath the water that lingered the longer they played.

The chase wore on and they became impatient; their hands stopped leaving and took to clinging, tugging hips and waists and shoulders and thighs closer.

The man cheated - or so Jesse would have cried if his chin hadn’t been caught by a calloused hand and his mouth caught in a searing kiss. With his other hand the man reeled Jesse in closer by the waistband of his boxers.

Jesse groaned into the man’s mouth when he felt his hand slip downward, finding where he was half-hard in his boxers. He could feel the man’s pleased smirk as he meanly pinched the head of his cock beneath the water, toyed with the thick base where it disappeared into a thick nest of curls.

“You’d think, bein’ in a dream, I’d be looking better,” Jesse managed to gasp as the man tipped his head back and nipped at the skin under the curve of Jesse’s jaw.

“Oh?” the man asked and slid the palm currently teasing Jesse up to his chest, dragging through the hair on his chest and belly. It joined the hand that tugged Jesse’s head back and he could feel the wicked curl of the man’s lips. “I think you’re looking good enough for me.”

He rolled his hips forward, slotting a thigh between Jesse’s, giving him something to rut against as his teeth teased at marks left on his neck. Jesse opened his mouth to respond - probably something disparaging - but the other man slipped his hand into the waistband of his wet boxers. He made a truly embarrassing sound at the feeling of the man’s hot hand around him but he couldn’t find it in him to care, yanking the man closer.

The man pumped him gently, using his other hand to guide Jesse into grinding against his hip and thigh. “You make such a lovely handful for me,” the man murmured huskily, pressing cool lips to the thrumming pulse point in Jesse’s throat. Jesse whimpered at the threat and promise of teeth, of a lurid mark sucked into the soft skin beneath his jaw. “And such lovely noises. Tell me...when was the last time someone did this for you?”

Jesse’s mouth worked but he felt his breath stolen when the man’s clever fingers toyed with his foreskin, pressed a thumb to the sensitive frenulum. He wheezed and remembered that he had hands but was unable to form an idea of what to do with them so he settled on grabbing the man’s arms if only to hold on for dear life.

“Tons,” Jesse finally managed to gasp out with false bravado, thinking of all of the dreams that he had where a big buff man held him down and jerked him off. He gasped when the man’s hand tightened almost painfully before releasing. “Got people lining up t’ give ol’ Jesse a handie.”

The man snarled - and that shouldn’t be as hot as it was - but his hand gentled, running his fingers softly over Jesse’s erection as if fading away. Jesse whined and bucked, trying to chase the grip and friction from a moment ago but meeting only empty water.

He grunted in surprise as he was lifted and then gave an exaggerated wheeze when he was tossed on the floating dock face-down, the dock digging into his waist. He gripped the smooth wood, his legs kicking back in surprise as he tried to catch his balance when the platform began to tip.

The man stopped him with a hand to the back of his thighs - Jesse didn’t want to _kick_ him after all, not when the dream was going so well - and stepped in close. There was something visceral about hearing him move through the water but not being able to see what he did.

“Have you ever done _this_ before?” the man asked and Jesse could feel the bristles of his cheek, his wet hair as he leaned against the inside of one of Jesse’s spread thighs. “Bared yourself to anyone in this way?”

Jesse made a choked sound as the water sloshed and he felt the man step closer, his broad shoulders pushing his legs even wider. He struggled and then wobbled as the platform bobbed and tipped with him. The man’s chest stopped him, his arms steadied both him and the dock. His hips dug painfully into the edge of the platform, but he wasn’t able to fully protest when a calloused hand wrapped around his dick.

“Well?” the man teased, pressing a kiss to the curve of Jesse’s ass where it met his thighs.

Swallowing, Jesse tried to rear back and look at the man over his shoulder. Just as he was opening his mouth, water sloshed, hands yanked apart the globes of his ass, and a hot tongue pressed close, swirling around his hole with teasing touches.

Surprised and caught with his mouth open he _yelled_ , tensing up at the unfamiliar sensations. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to twist away or buck closer to the man’s lips and wicked tongue. The man pulled back and Jesse was too far gone to be embarrassed by the broken sound of disappointment he made.

He twisted around in time to see the man flick his dark eyes up from where he had been staring. Seeing Jesse’s gaze, he smirked and pointedly licked his lips. “I asked you a question, Jesse.”

“Guh,” Jesse managed to say and the man smiled.

He leaned closer, pressing an obscene kiss just above the cleft of Jesse’s ass and he made yet another embarrassing sound of disappointment. “Have you ever done this before?” One of his thumbs crept inward, teasing against soft skin and prickling against the hair there. The man made an appreciative noise low in his throat.

“No,” Jesse whispered, twitching when he felt the man’s hot breath on him.

The water sloshed as the man stepped closer, his big shoulders pushing Jesse’s legs even wider. “Good,” he hissed and nipped at the skin of his ass. Jesse thumped against the dock, making it bob in the water. “Then this shall be mine.”

Jesse groaned through clenched teeth, unable to stop himself, when the man dove back in, kissing and licking…

It was an act that Jesse had never thought of, that he hadn’t offered or been offered by any of his previous partners - in a dream or otherwise. In the past it had seemed....deviant. Debased. Now, Jesse couldn’t help but wonder why he had never tried such a thing before. The man’s tongue swirled around his twitching hole wiggling and twisting, his mouth and lips working as he teased where no man had touched Jesse before.

He loved every second of it.

It was hard not to buck excitedly into the man’s touch, harder still to rein in his delighted yell as one of the man’s strong hands wrapped around his cock, teasing the sensitive tip. When the man’s hand moved faster, in time with the tongue that had wiggled into Jesse’s hole, Jesse dug his fingers as deep as he could into the dock and arched his back, bucking as much as he could back into that sinful mouth and forward into the hand wrapped around his cock.

The man seemed to understand his cries and incoherent babbling. His hand sped up as did his tongue which speared deeper into Jesse. He growled and with a silent scream Jesse came, arching his back as the man worked him through his orgasm with lips and tongue and a hand that furiously pumped his cock. He only stopped when Jesse was twitching with aftershocks, carefully pulling himself backwards.

Very slowly Jesse slid back into the water, clinging to the floating platform as if afraid that his legs wouldn’t support him, as if afraid that he had cum his brains out his dick and that he’d fall over and drown.

He found the man nearby, crouched so that he was submerged up to his neck. The water moved and rippled around his shoulders tellingly and he held his bottom lip between his teeth.

On wobbly feet, Jesse walked over, groping beneath the water for the man. “C’mere,” he croaked, finding the man’s free arm and easing him closer. “Lemme...lemme help you with that.”

The man’s other hand stopped its furious motion and caught the hand that Jesse was dragging down his ribs and hip. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes enormous in the reflection of the moonlight on the water. For once he seemed unsure, his eyes flicking to Jesse’s face and then away.

“Ah,” he said. “I...do not…have the parts you think I have.”

In his hazy post-coital daze it took Jesse a moment to figure out his meaning. This time the man didn’t tug away when Jesse gently drew him closer. He did wrinkle his nose when he made to kiss him.

“I should...wash my mouth.”

Jesse laughed, dizzy with sated desire and an intense need to hear and see this man fall apart by his hand. Or fingers.

Or lips.

_Oh_ , wouldn’t that be a sight?

“I know a place,” Jesse whispered. “And if you were so willing...I’d love to help you take care of that problem.”

A slow smile spread across the man’s face. He hesitated when Jesse tugged him toward the edge of the lake but after a moment that Jesse patiently waited out, he allowed himself to be drawn across the lawn to Jesse’s outdoor shower.

For the moment beneath the lukewarm water, Jesse kept his touches chaste (or as chaste as one could be when stroking another’s naked body), trying not to crowd the man against the wall even though he _really wanted to_.

The man turned around, wrapping his arms around Jesse’s neck. “Well?” he asked. “I thought you were a man of your word, Jesse.”

Jesse growled at the challenge, stealing the man’s lips for a bruising kiss. “I’d love to use my mouth, if that’s alright with you,” Jesse said and _Lord_ he already sounded so wrecked.

“Will you kneel, then?” the man asked with a teasing smirk.

Giddy as he traced his hands up and down the man’s sides, Jesse considered that question, considered the logistics of it. “No,” he decided, letting his hands creep downward to hook behind the man’s knees. “Got a better idea.”

The man yelled in surprise when Jesse lifted him, pinning him against the wall with the man’s legs around his waist. It brought him to the perfect height to nip and suck dark marks into the man’s neck, to chase the sweep of his collarbone, along his sternum, and then to the man’s nipples.

Jesse grinned at the punched-out groan he received when he closed his lips around one. If he didn’t need two hands to hold the man up, Jesse would have used both to pinch and twist them until he was a drooling, writhing mess.

But he had better plans.

He grunted as he hoisted the man higher, using the wall as leverage to hook the man’s knees over his shoulders. “Gorgeous,” he whispered, his lips already pressed intimately close to the man’s core, brushing against his cock with each word. Looking up at the man - who stared down at him with slack-jawed surprise, his arms gripping the top of the shower stall to brace himself - he winked and got to work.

His first surprise came as he sucked the man’s cock into his mouth and his tongue touched metal. The man groaned, his legs tightening around Jesse’s head so he couldn’t immediately pull back for a look but the reaction was promising at least. Loosening his jaw a little, he felt along the underside of his cock, slipping closer to his entrance and found the piece of metal again.

The man’s hips jerked and he groaned, arching his back into the feeling when Jesse growled.

_It was a piercing_.

Jesse growled and used the tip of his tongue to toy with the piercing, nudging against it so that it rotated and twisted. Above him he could hear the man falling apart, his legs trembling and clenching tighter and tighter.

Dripping spit down his chin, Jesse tilted his head back slightly to look up at the man. His back was arched, his arms shaking as they gripped the wall of the showers with white-knuckles. Even spent as he was, Jesse could feel his dick twitch in interest.

Panting, the man tipped his head down as if losing as control of the muscles in his neck. He was flushed from cheeks to throat to chest and trembling faintly in Jesse’s arms. Braced, Jesse could hold him like this for a while longer - and he intended to see how long the man could last.

Licking his lips lewdly and pulling back to break the sticky string of fluid that connected them, Jesse grinned. “I could do this all night,” he said. Adjusting his grip on the man, he dipped his head back down.

This time he paid more attention to the man’s cock, lathing his tongue along it and tugging it gently into his mouth to suck. He enjoyed the sounds of the man falling apart above him, the way he twitched and shook, how his legs tightened in fits and starts, yanking Jesse closer. The man ground his hips against Jesse’s mouth and made a choked noise when Jesse’s tongue once more found the curved metal of his piercing.

Jesse was yanked closer as the man twitched and whimpered, his legs clamping tight around Jesse’s head. He continued licking, sucking, toying with the piercing until the man began to twist and wiggle with overstimulation.

Only then did Jesse pull back, licking his lips again and smirking up at the man. His eyes were blown wide, his face and neck flushed as his chest heaved. Jesse wasn’t sure he’d ever seen anything so beautiful.

Shifting his stance, Jesse pressed gentle kisses into the insides of the man’s thighs, smiling as they twitched at the brush of his beard, sensitive and overstimulated. “Are you going to put me down?” the man asked and Jesse grinned roguishly at how utterly _destroyed_ he sounded.

“Bless,” Jesse said, pressing another kiss to the insides of the man’s thighs and leaning in to give a bite. The man twitched and bucked, his center slick and shiny with Jesse’s efforts. “I said I could do this all night, couldn’t I?”

Without waiting for a response Jesse tipped his head forward and his lips and tongue found the piercing again.

When he woke up the next morning, it was to the last taste of the dream on his lips and the bone-deep feeling of contentment that came from a good dream. (His jaw ached but it was easily brushed off as a sympathy pain from the excitement his dream-self had. Or he had clenched his jaw again as he slept.)

Scrubbing his face with a loud groan, he rolled out of bed and jumped in the shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra thanks to [SchweenWinchester](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SchweenWinchester) for making sure Hanzo birds as well as can be expected, for helping me make sure that I didn't do anything stupid, and for ideas on piercings. And for making sure that I put baby in pelican mouth. Additional thanks to [Lyall_Lupa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyall_Lupa/pseuds/Lyall_Lupa) and [tinyforestshark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyforestshark/pseuds/tinyforestshark) for threatening to picket my apartment and/or trying to bribe me with things to get me to start/finish this piece.
> 
> Feel free to come and yell at me on my tumblr at [Classywastelandbread](https://classywastelandbread.tumblr.com). 
> 
> Thank you for putting up with my shenanigans! 
> 
> ~DC


	3. Preening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Male terms are used for Hanzo but unless it was necessary I tried to be a bit vague about it. Penetrative sex (fingering) in this chapter. Please let me know if there are any additional tags you would like me to include.

The swan hissed at him when he went out to it but seemed a little friendlier…or at least slightly less aggressive toward Jesse. He only pecked Jesse once and compared to the nip he had gotten yesterday, it was almost ‘gentle’.

Almost.

But the reminder of that bite brought back memories of his dream the night before and the feeling of the man’s teeth on his chest that if he had bit down any harder, would have made a mark that was the mirror of the one the swan gave him.

The swan seemed to scowl at him when Jesse sprayed him with the hose but spread its wings to accept the misty spray. He still didn’t flap and still favored the injured one, but Jesse thought it might have been extended a bit more than yesterday. “I won’t take you back to Lúcio,” he told the swan. “But maybe in a few days he can give you a checkup.”

Giving him a foul (fowl? Ha!) look, the swan turned away and retreated to his pond.

“I need to go in today,” he told the bird, feeling quite ridiculous for doing so. “But I’ll be back to make sure you have food.”

Today it was Ana’s turn to be in the clinic and he told her all about the swan. He also told her about his dream while they took his truck to his house for lunch.

“You don’t understand!” Jesse told her as he lifted out another tray of grass for the swan. “He was  _ beautiful! _ ”

Ana laughed as she followed after him toward the backyard enclosure. The swan was pacing impatiently along the walls of the cage and hissed when he saw them. “Surely there’s more to a person than just beauty,” she teased.

Rolling his eyes, Jesse reached for the deadbolt and frowned. “That’s weird,” he muttered.

“What?” Ana asked as she knelt beside the walls of the cage to look the swan over.

Jesse grunted as he lifted the bolt and moved it along its slot. “I just thought I closed it differently,” he said. “Maybe it was just my imagination.”

“Maybe it was your mystery man last night,” Ana teased, wiggling her fingers teasingly at Jesse. “He tried to liberate your friend here.”

The swan hissed and snapped his neck through the bars of the cage but Ana was too quick and pulled her hands away. For good measure she tapped him on his beak and he hissed.

But still didn’t flap his wings.

She let him retreat to sulk and they both watched him climb one of the catwalks to perch in one of the fake trees. “Do swans climb?” she asked Jesse who shrugged. He put the tray of grass down and ran his fingers through the one he put the day before, relieved to find that it was at least grazed on.

“Hey,” Jesse said. “I still have some of that chicken salad from the other day.”

“That sounds lovely,” Ana said as she stood and brushed her knees off. “And while you’re at it, you can tell me all about this dream man of yours.”

They both looked strangely at the swan when it wheezed from somewhere high up in the enclosure. “I almost don’t want to check on him,” Jesse admitted tiredly but nonetheless hauled open the bolt. He looked up as he stepped inside once more, uneasy at the potential to have an angry swan dive bomb him.

Ana waited at the door, holding it shut but not bolted so Jesse could make a quick escape if necessary. He caught sight of the swan’s head poking over the edge to watch him ascend the ramp. The swan mantled, half-spreading his wings as he flared his feathers out. He hissed.

Jesse retreated to the sound of Ana’s laughter. “Guess he’s not choking,” she said as she closed the door behind Jesse. She grunted as she forced the bolt shut. “Maybe you should get some WD-40 for that.”

“Maybe,” Jesse agreed. “But hopefully he won’t be in there for very long.” He offered an elbow to Ana who laughed as she accepted it and led her toward the kitchen door of Jesse’s house.

“He’ll probably have to stay for a while,” Ana pointed out. “If he –  _ ugh! _ What a mess!”

Rolling his eyes, Jesse ushered Ana into the kitchen and began pulling their lunches out of the refrigerator. “What makes you say he’ll be staying around?” Jesse asked. “Lú says that he should be healed up in no time and then be ready for release.”

“He’s not flapping,” Ana told him. “And I read his notes – he didn’t even flap during his exam even though there’s no indication that anything is impeding him. If he can’t fly, he can’t defend himself. He’d probably have to stay nearby or he’d end up dead from someone’s dog.”

Jesse snorted. “He’s too mean to die,” he grumbled but only to hide the worry that curled low in his gut. It happened of course – sometimes animals just didn’t get better; or sometimes they did only for them to return to the rescue. Sometimes all that hard work put in to healing and rehabilitating was all for naught and the animal died from hunters or power lines or pets. It was just a fact of life – of the inevitable invasion of humanity…but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t upsetting.

And the swan, mean and contrary and strange though it was, was a handsome creature.

“I’ll see if I can get him flying,” Jesse said grimly, not looking forward to getting in the enclosure with the swan again. “Or at least flapping.”

Ana smiled and patted his wrist. “You can’t save everyone,” she told him gently. “Some creatures are just beyond rescue.”

Looking at the enclosure and the very peculiar swan that was perched high up in the fake tree in it, Jesse shook his head and didn’t respond.

* * *

That night he dreamt again.

Once more he started out in his room, lying in bed and staring up at the ceiling. When he climbed out, he turned to face the window and once more saw the silhouette of a man sitting on the docks.

It was the same man as the previous night, odd but not in a way that Jesse was complaining about. He was greeted with an almost smug smile and he sat beside the man without more prompting.

“Pretty as a picture,” Jesse said softly, hesitant to reach out and touch the man beside him in case it was one of  _ those _ dreams – the look-but-don’t-touch ones that drove Jesse crazy.

He was given a coquettish look that sent heat curling low in Jesse’s belly. “Is that something you say to everyone, Jesse?”

Jesse smiled, unable to help the dopey look on his face. “I only tell the truth, sweetness,” he said.

The man dragged his eyes up and down and Jesse shivered, feeling his gaze like a physical touch. “Hnn,” he said. “Is that so?”

Boldly, Jesse slipped into the water and moved so that he was between the man’s legs, his knees resting over Jesse’s shoulders. He smiled, too wide and too eager, when the man tangled their fingers at the edge of the docks and used his heels to bring Jesse closer. “Yes,” Jesse said, tilting his head into the inside of the man’s thigh. “Let me show you how beautiful I think you are?”

The man’s smile kindled the fire in his gut and with his legs that still lay draped over Jesse’s shoulders, he pulled Jesse even closer. “By all means.”

This time Jesse was slower, pressing soft kisses up and down the man’s thighs as he drew slowly to the real prize of the man’s cock. “Delicious,” Jesse breathed, peering up at the man as he opened his mouth and pressed his tongue just beneath where his fleshy pink head was peeking out. 

He loved the way the man gasped as he used his tongue to gently guide the man’s cock into his mouth. Groaning, Jesse let his mouth drop open, his lips and tongue searching for that piercing that he had become so intimately familiar with. 

Was it still there? 

Was this the same man that had been in his last dream? 

Well, he  _ tasted _ the same, he twisted and arched and gasped and groaned the same, grabbed at Jesse’s head the same way and - ah yes, there was the piercing. When his teeth clicked against it, the man gave a strangled gasp and bucked. 

Jesse let the man’s cock pop out of his mouth and shifted downwards, gently tugging and twisting at the piercing with lips and tongue, letting his teeth click against it just to hear the way the man choked on nothing. 

He realized belatedly that the sounds tumbling from the man’s lips were his  _ name _ . “ _ Jesse, Jesse, Jesse, Jesse _ .” Growling, he slipped back up and sucked the man’s cock down, lifting a hand to roll and tug at the piercing. Spit and slick ran down his chin, making his beard into some strange sort of sticky mess. 

At this point he didn’t care if his jaw hurt the next morning like it had the last time he dreamed of the man. He just wanted to hear his choked noises as he sucked and licked and slurped away between his legs. He just wanted to feel the man grip his hair tight, grinding his nose deeper into his pubic bone, grind his cock deeper, harder into his tongue.

“ _ Jesse! _ ” the man gasped, his voice cracking halfway through. Jesse rubbed his thighs, feeling them bulge and twitch as the man bucked helplessly into his mouth. He gave a breathless gasp when Jesse tugged on the piercing, using it to rub his cock while he massaged the spongy head with his tongue. 

Pulling back, Jesse licked his sticky lips and smirked up at the man who was now reclining, his head tipped back as he caught his breath. Jesse watched the way sweat gleamed on his chest as he tried to catch his breath, watched the way his throat bobbed as he swallowed. 

“ _ Gorgeous _ ,” Jesse croaked, leaning back just far enough to press a sticky kiss to the inside of the man’s thigh, smiling gleefully when he jumped, twitched in overstimulated pleasure. “How much more y’ got in ya, sweetness?”

The man groaned but he didn’t sound particularly upset. His legs trembled a little as the water sloshed and Jesse ran his hand up the outside of his thigh to his hip. “Insatiable!” the man said. 

Laughing, Jesse slipped his other hand around and under the man’s thigh, letting it slide off of that shoulder as he traced the curves and divots of his muscles up to where hip met thigh. He licked his lips. “May I?” he asked, drawing a circle inside the man’s thigh. “May I finger you, sweetness? Are you okay with that?”

He could hear the way the man swallowed, the wet click of his throat and the shaky inhalation of breath he took but wasn’t sure if it was a good breath or not. Just in case he backed away, gave the man his space to breathe though his jaw ached something fierce to be put to work again, to feel the delicious way the man twitched and fell apart on his tongue. 

“Yes,” the man whispered, lifting his head as if drawn by a string up to look down at Jesse. His eyes were blown wide, his face flushed. Jesse watched him lick his lips and unconsciously did the same, feeling the slick coat his tongue again. 

Humming, so pleased that he felt light-headed, Jesse pressed a kiss to the inside of the man’s thigh and traced his hand higher to where the man was hot and slick. To distract him, Jesse found the piercing with his thumb and wiggled it a bit, just enough to get his cock twitching. 

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Jesse breathed as the first finger breached the man. “Sweetness, you’re...nnn.” 

The man hissed but it didn’t sound like a  _ bad _ hiss, especially given the way the man dragged him closer with the leg still slung over Jesse’s back. “I’m so  _ what _ , Jesse?” he asked and Jesse peered up, tearing his eyes away from where they were joined, where the man split to accept his twisting, prodding finger. 

With a feral grin, Jesse leaned closer and sucked his cock into his mouth, toying with the hood of skin with his tongue while his thumb nudged the curved piercing. He hummed, smug, when the man bucked his hips, making the floating dock bob. It affected Jesse’s finger in him too, nudged it deeper, pressed it against his spongy walls. 

Jesse hummed and then chuckled as the man seemed torn between rolling his hips down on Jesse’s finger or up into his mouth or the thumb toying with his piercing. He wiggled another finger in while the man was distracted, curling them, searching just for that one spot…

He knew he found it when the man gave a choked noise and gave a full-body shudder that made the dock rock and slap against the water. “ _ There _ ,” Jesse said, pulling back just enough to speak. With his other hand he held the man’s hips still and went to town, tonguing the man’s cock, thumbing his piercing, twisting and curling his fingers just so to hear the half-choked sounds the man made. 

The man’s fingers tangled in his hair and Jesse groaned, unable to help that the resulting pain seemed tied directly to his cock, for the first time reminding him how achingly hard he was. A part of him wanted to reach down and take himself in hand - it would surely take only a few strokes - but even if a gun were held to his head, he couldn’t ( _ wouldn’t _ ) stop until the man’s legs trembled too hard for him to stand. 

As if making him cum until he couldn’t move would keep the dream from ending. 

He pulled back, grinning roguishly at the disappointed whine that he got and licked his lips, catching and breaking the sticky string of fluid that connected them. “ _ Fuck _ sweetness,” he said, curling his fingers and rubbing up against the spot that made the man wiggle and gasp. “You feel so good.” he debated adding another finger, seeing how many he could wiggle in but the man looked already too far gone, his head thrown back as he gripped Jesse’s hair tightly, tried to tug him back. 

“ _ Jesse! _ ” the man hissed, his voice cracking. “ _ Please! _ ” 

Humming, Jesse pressed a kiss to where his fingers disappeared into the man, flicking his tongue between them. His upper lip bumped into the piercing his nose nudging into the man’s twitching cock. The sounds he made were wet, slick, obscene. 

Jesse pulled back again and the man snarled. “You close, sweetness?” 

“ _ Yes! _ ” the man growled, tipping his head up to stare down at Jesse. He looked wild, his hair a mess and his face flushed. He tugged Jesse’s hair harder, grinding his face into the soft skin where thigh met hip. “Put your mouth to better use.”

Grinning, Jesse pressed a kiss to the jut of the man’s hip. “Yessir,” he said and let himself be tugged where the man wanted him.

The next morning, Jesse woke up with a sore jaw, a dry mouth, and a crick in his neck. With a groan he rolled out of bed for a cold shower, chasing the memory of the heat and taste of the man on dock from his dreams.

* * *

The swan seemed strangely tired when Jesse went to feed him and grunted when he sprayed it with the hose as he bobbed around in the little pond in his enclosure. For once it didn’t seem aggressive but seemed strangely lethargic.

Concerned, Jesse went about the rest of his routine and went in to the house to call Ana. By the time she came by, the swan had perked up a bit and was grazing on the trays of grass.

“How has he been sleeping?” Ana asked as she peered at the swan through the bars of the cage. “He just seems tired but I’m not sure. We might need to bring him in to the clinic.”

Jesse shook his head. “Haven’t checked in on him at night,” he admitted.

“Melon probably isn’t very good for him either,” Ana added and reached into her pocket for a snack-size Ziplock of Cheerios. “Neither is this,” she added. “Too much sugar. We might be able to switch him to seeds but we need to watch out for the fat content. We don’t want his widdle leggies to give out beneath him.”

For the first time the swan reacted, swiveling its head to look at her with what Jesse thought looked like reproach. He fluffed his feathers up in a half-mantle and arched his neck.

Ana gently lobbed a few Cheerios through the bars and the swan hissed. In a surprisingly intelligent move, he walked over to one and stomped on it while making eye contact with Ana. She traded glances with Jesse. Wiggling his tail feathers, the swan went to the bowl with the melon that Jesse had cut up for him.

She dusted her hands off and stood. “It looks like he’s just tired,” she said. “But maybe we should schedule a time for him to come back for a checkup in case things pick up. I’ll pencil something in when I get back to the office and let you know.”

“Great,” Jesse muttered, already thinking about how difficult it was going to be to get the swan to the clinic. He might end up with another black eye.

Ana smiled. “If he doesn’t improve over the course of the day, let me know,” she instructed him. “But he perked up a bit just now so he might just be a little sleepy.” Her smile took on a wicked edge. “I suppose he’s not the only one, huh?” Blushing, Jesse shooed her off of his property and went back inside to properly change for the day.

But as he did, he could have sworn that he could hear the swan laugh.

* * *

When he returned for lunch he realized that there was something very wrong with the swan.

Well, that wasn’t fair. There was a lot of things wrong with the swan that extended contact made Jesse more and more aware of.

The swan was covered in dirt.  _ How _ the swan covered himself in dirt Jesse would never know, but he bet that it was from just wandering around the enclosure. Dust clung to his feathers and in some places it had turned to mud, leaving odd clumps all over the place.

Looking closer at him as Jesse brought out a bowl of mixed seeds and melon, he realized that most of the swan’s feathers were out of place and dirty, without the kind of gloss that Jesse knew should be on a bird’s feathers.

He put the bowl down just outside of the enclosure, ignoring the agitated hiss the swan gave him, and watched its feathers mantle…or try to. Some of them were cracked and bent and he tapped his finger thoughtfully against his chin. Now that he thought about it, he hadn’t ever seen the swan preen himself.

“This isn’t going to go well for me, is it?” he wondered to himself, putting his fists on his hips. The swan hissed at him. “You’re lucky, mister.”

He went to grab the hose and softest scrub brush he could find and mentally prepared himself for the battle of his life.

Swallowing hard, Jesse stood in front of the door to the enclosure and watched the swan mantle his messy feathers. He shook the brush at the swan. “Look,” he said sternly. “You’re a mess and you ain’t gonna be impressing any lady swans anytime soon.”

He opened the door of the enclosure and shuffled in, closing it quickly behind him so that the swan couldn’t escape. Wiggling his arm through the bars, he nudged the bolt closed just in case. Probably a bad idea to lock himself in with such a hellish creature, but it was also probably a bad idea to do what he had in mind to do.

Very carefully Jesse approached the swan who arched his neck and spread his big wings. His  _ very big wings _ .

The remains of the bruise around his eye, which had fortunately more or less healed since the swan had struck him, twinged in preemptive pain.

“Look,” he bargained with the swan. “You be good and I’ll feed you.” He would feed the swan anyway – he wasn’t a  _ monster _ after all. Still, he felt bad enough to add, “I’ll even bring you more melon. I know you like it. And I have some nice grapes.”

He must be imagining things but the swan almost seemed  _ thoughtful _ , bringing his wings closer to his body. Mumbling a prayer, he lunged forward and ran the brush down the swan’s chest, rolling out of the way when he snapped his beak at where Jesse’s head had been.

When he got back to his feet, the swan was looking down at where the brush had passed. The damned creature looked actually  _ surprised _ despite not having a human face. He looked up at Jesse.

Swallowing hard, Jesse held out the brush. The swan hissed and pecked at the brush but stepped forward until Jesse very gently ran the soft bristles over his feathers. It wasn’t a very good replacement for another bird preening him, but it got a lot of the misplaced feathers to lay straight and brushed out the bits of dirt that had been caught up in his coat.

Jesse smiled when the swan made little grunting noises in the back of his throat and seemed to calm down, relaxing into the makeshift attempt at preening. He looked at Jesse as if to say,  _ why did you stop _ when he paused to dip the brush in the water.

“There we go,” Jesse murmured quietly, kneeling in the dirt next to the swan while he attempted to groom him. He arched his neck and leaned into the brush, wiggling his wings and tail feathers. Very slowly Jesse incorporated his other hand into it, gently peeling back layers of feathers and picking out bits of leaves, sticks, and small pebbles that had somehow gotten caught up in the swan’s coat. “Handsome man.”

He smiled when the swan reared up, spreading his wide wings to let Jesse run the soft brush down the front of his chest and belly. The swan didn’t fan his wings but in a way that Jesse thought was strangely clever for a bird, rested one of them over Jesse’s shoulder as if to balance himself.

“Such a handsome boy,” Jesse murmured, dipping his brush into the bucket of water again while his other hand traced the auxiliaries on the inside of the swan’s wings and the seam where wing met body. The wing on that side fluttered and the swan arched his neck further, clearly pleased with the attention.

For once he wasn’t biting or hissing or charging at Jesse so he took full advantage and gently ran his fingers all over the bird while murmuring praises.

Eventually he ran out of words in English and switched to Spanish, murmuring to the swan how lovely he was and how good he was being. His arched neck relaxed and the wing on Jesse’s shoulder grew heavier as the swan continued to relax.

Jesse continued to very gently wash the bird, gently working free clumps of dirt and dust and making sure that all of his feathers at least  _ looked _ like they were supposed to. The swan grumbled low in his throat when Jesse had to move him but relaxed when Jesse gently pushed him into a resting position to get at his back and wings.

“Such an odd swan you are,” Jesse murmured. The swan twisted his neck around to look at him but then relaxed as Jesse ran fingers and brush through the heavier feathers of his back. He grunted, reminding Jesse very much of a person getting a massage, and relaxed further into the floor of the enclosure. “But if you’re being so good like this then I suppose I must do this more often for you.”

It was much longer again before he could tear himself away from the swan who shuddered and folded himself back into a more dignified position. Jesse tensed when the swan hissed, half expecting the devil creature to attack him, but to his surprise he charged straight at the bars of his enclosure…

…and the audience that had gathered there.

A few of them jumped back, dropping their phones. One of them tripped over the swan’s bowl of fruit and Jesse groaned. “I have more,” Ana assured him, holding up the bowl in her hands. “I knew you probably tried to bribe him with it.”

The swan made a few odd noises in the back of his throat and remained where he was as Jesse carefully retreated toward the door, watching as he traded bucket, brush, and hose for the bowl of fruit. Only when the door close did the swan hurry over, his neck extended eagerly.

“Aww,” their audience cooed.

The swan hissed, twisting to flare his wings wide at them.

Jesse yelped when one of the joints smacked him right in the eye. 

 

* * *

That night Jesse’s dreams weren’t quite so…active…but that was because he was exhausted.

Shortly after he left the swan and cleaned up, he had a lot of work ahead of him. A well-meaning family brought in a fawn that upon being carefully unwrapped from the blanket they had wrapped her in, ran around the interior of the rescue, knocking over everything that wasn’t bolted down.

On the plus side, it turned out that she was uninjured and in very good health. The down side was that it took Jesse and three other volunteers about a half hour to catch her again in which time the family ran away, screaming about rabies.  

_ Then _ someone brought in their dog thinking that “wildlife rescue” meant “free vet clinic” and to let the vets get their  _ actual _ work done, Jesse had to explain to the angry man that he couldn’t drop off his “rescued” dog and claim it again when it was healthy.

The dog wasn’t even a large breed – it was a corgi that was remarkably well-behaved, lying down beside the chairs in the lobby with her tongue lolling out. Even from a distance Jesse could tell that she was blind in one eye but aside from that she at least appeared to be in good health.

Of course then her owner decided that Jesse’s refusal to provide free service was unacceptable so he began wrecking the lobby. The police had to be called and statements needed to be taken and photos collected of the damage.

He didn’t get home until late that evening and barely remembered to feed the swan. A part of him was disappointed that it didn’t come down to greet (or hiss) at him but he supposed that it was past his bedtime and tried to make as little noise as possible while he filled a bowl with grapes and melon.

Trudging into the house, he turned off the kitchen light which he had apparently left on during his lunch break, and flopped face-first on the couch.

He woke later to the feeling of large arms – one behind his shoulders, the other under his knees – and the sensation of being carried. Cracking his eyes open, he saw the man from the dock as he knelt on the bed and gently set him down.

Jesse groaned. “Hush,” the man said gently. “Go back to sleep.”

“No,” Jesse mumbled, his eyes heavy. His hand flopped around until he touched the smooth skin of the man’s bare hip. “This is a good dream. I like this.”

The man chuckled and he felt the bed tip as the man’s nimble fingers undid the buttons on his shirt. “Hush,” the man repeated. The bed dipped and bounced as he knelt in front of Jesse, untying the laces of his boots and pulling down his khaki pants. Jesse could only lay there, drifting in and out of sleep, as the man undressed him and tucked him into bed.

“This isn’t what I hoped for,” Jesse mumbled, fumbling with hands that felt like lead for the man who tangled their fingers together.

He huffed in surprise when he felt cool lips press against his forehead and then to the bruises beneath each eye. “Hush,” the man said again and Jesse could feel the smile against his skin. “Rest.”

Jesse sighed deeply as he felt fingers card through his hair, massaging his scalp. He found the man’s other hand and tugged until the man lay down beside him, his head resting on the man’s chest. “Stay,” he whispered, already drifting off again.

“Until dawn,” the man said, sounding almost wistful. He pressed a kiss to Jesse’s forehead and continued his soothing touches, humming softly as Jesse drifted off to sleep again.

* * *

He woke up the next morning in a puddle of his own drool and sighed. Despite the ache still present in his black eye and muscles, he felt remarkably well rested.

It was strange that he woke up in his own bed, dressed down to his boxers, but perhaps he had woken up sometime in the middle of the night to trudge into his room. He stumbled into the bathroom for a shower and had to leap out quickly, soaking wet, when his alarm went off.

Dripping, he stood over his phone and frowned. It was plugged into the charger and the clip that he used to hold it to his pants lay innocently beside it; normally he just left it on his pants and had to play find-the-clip in the morning while he was running out the door.

Also…his pants and shirt were neatly folded, placed on a chair beside the bed.

His button-down shirt hung from a hanger on the doorknob.

Not only did he not remember doing any of these things, but they were also things that  _ he never did anyway _ .

Shaking his head – perhaps exhaustion had made him do funny things – he shut off the alarm and wobbled back to the shower.

In the refrigerator he found another oddity: a bowl of melon and grapes that had already diced into small pieces and mixed with shredded kale and some of the oats and nuts that Jesse had bought the day before.

Shaking his head again – maybe Ana or Liv thought they were being helpful again – he didn’t think too much into it and took the bowl out to the swan.

He found the swan pacing the bars as if restless but he didn’t seem impatient when he caught sight of Jesse. “Hey,” he said, unable to help the smile that crossed his face. Perhaps he was a little  _ too _ pleased at the swan’s new and strange behavior, but he liked it a lot better than being hissed at. “Good morning!”

Kneeling, he slipped the bowl through the feeding slot and went to the door of the enclosure.

And froze.

The door was open.

Carefully he inspected it. The bolt lay open with the door ajar – enough that if the swan had noticed it, he could have pushed it open and escaped. He looked thoughtfully back at the swan that alternating between eating from the bowl and looking at Jesse.

The swan was smart – most were – and no bird liked to be caged. And considering the way he had been pacing, Jesse couldn’t deny that the swan had noticed that the door was open.

So why hadn’t he tried to escape?

Even if the swan couldn’t fly (for whatever reason) the soft grass was more bearable than the packed dirt of his enclosure. And there was a proper lake instead of a tiny pond that he didn’t have enough room in.

But the swan had stayed.

Just to test his theory, Jesse threw open the door and backed away. The swan glanced up at the sound and then looked at Jesse. Ultimately both of these were ignored in favor of the bowl of food.

He took a step into the enclosure and the swan didn’t even look up at him.

Bit by bit he approached the swan who ignored him except to glance up at him when he was within pecking distance. The swan peered up at him and then returned to his food, fluttering his wings when Jesse gently ran his hand over his back.

“What a strange bird you are,” Jesse murmured. Quick as lightning the swan twisted his head and pecked Jesse. He laughed – it stung but didn’t hurt, seemed more reproachful than anything – and returned to petting the swan as he ate.

Done for the moment, the swan turned to face Jesse who froze, afraid that he was about to be bitten. And the swan  _ did _ bite him, but it was a gentle –  _ very _ gentle – nip to the nose. Then the swan waddled away, climbing the many slats and ramps into the fake tree where he roosted like some kind of deranged bird.

Not like a swan at all.

Jesse waved and the swan tossed his head as if waving back.

Smiling, Jesse left – and was careful to close and bolt the door behind him.


	4. Evidence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strangely enough I both like and hate this chapter.
> 
> Warnings once more for sexy times. Oral sex and penetrative sex (fingering).

“It wasn’t even a _sexy_ dream, Liv,” Jesse complained into his Bluetooth, dragging around a large plastic garbage bag as he cleaned.

Liv clicked her tongue on the other end of the line. “ _I read once that dreams are a manifestation of your innermost desires._ ”

Unable to help himself, Jesse snorted. “Yeah,” he said flatly. “I want to be pushed down into the mattress and fucked until I can’t see straight but that didn’t happen in this one.”

“ _Eew_ .” Jesse shrugged even though she couldn’t see it. “ _I didn’t need to know that_.”

“ _Point is_ ,” Jesse said with emphasis as he dumped another empty can into the trash bag. It clattered around the other bottles and cans which were already bulging around the weight. “All he did in my dream was put me back to bed.”

Liv chuckled and Jesse flushed, realizing the innuendo. “ _Isn’t that what he’s_ been _doing?_ ”

Groaning, Jesse tied off the bag even though it was half full and dropped it outside near the recycling bin. “No, he’s just been checking off every secret, kinky box I never knew I had.”

“ _Again, eew_.”

“But _this time_ he just brushed my hair and held me while going to sleep.” Jesse groaned. “Can you be in love with a fictional man?”

Liv laughed. “Ay,” she teased. “ _You’re one to ask me! You’re the romantic that falls in love with anyone that bats their eyes at you._ ”

Rolling his eyes Jesse ignored that and went back inside to tackle the mess that was his bedroom. It was a blessing and a curse that the other volunteers decided to give him the rest of the day off. On one hand he could actually clean out his house.

…on the other hand he could actually clean out his house.

Ugh.

Finding his empty hamper, he began tossing his dirty clothes in. “Should I do naked laundry?” he asked Liv who groaned. “No, I’m serious! The clothes I’m wearing are _filthy_ -”

“You’re _filthy_ ,” Liv muttered.

“So why should I do a load of laundry and end up with one set of dirty clothes?” Jesse continued, ignoring her.

Liv snorted. “ _If you’re arrested for indecent exposure it’s not my problem_ ,” she said. “ _But just in case you forget, there’s a park across the lake from you._ ”

Rolling his eyes, Jesse grabbed his sheets and began wrestling them off the mattress. “No there isn’t,” he said and looked out the window.

“ _Mm-hmm_ ,” Liv insisted. “ _I can see three little kids that are fishing with their parents right now. What will they think if they see your naked ass wandering around?_ ”

Jesse snorted. “You say that like I’m going to go walking around outside,” he said. “I’m just going to be around my own house!”

“ _Close the windows,_ ” Liv advised. “ _Just in case a volunteer comes wandering by._ ”

Balling up his sheets, Jesse was about to throw the whole mess into the hamper when something fluttered to the ground. Leaning down, he picked it up and looked it over. It was a cream-colored feather about ten inches long.

Much like a swan feather.

Jesse looked out the window toward the swan’s enclosure and wondered.

* * *

The next few days he was too busy to dream.

The rescue needed him to transport a trailer full of animals to another rescue – the vets were able to take care of the animals, but they lacked the necessary space for large grazers.

And Jesse was quite baffled as to just _why_ there was a moose anywhere near their area.

In all he ended up gone for three days with both Liv and Ana promising to feed the swan and make sure that he had clean water in his pond. The first thing he did when he came back was go to the nearest burrito place and order the biggest thing on the menu. As an afterthought he went back inside and ordered a small container of refried beans and lettuce.

He found Ana in the main building when he pulled up to return the rescue truck. “He’ll be pleased to see you,” she said with a relieved sigh when he kissed her on the cheek. “At least I hope so. He hasn’t been eating much since you left.”

“Guess I better head on over,” he said, handing her a bag of shrimp tacos – a seasonal item that Ana loved even though she didn’t normally care for shellfish. “Thanks for looking after him. How is he otherwise?”

Ana shrugged. “He doesn’t preen but he won’t let me near him so he’s a bit of a mess,” she said. “If he’ll let you near him you should bring him in for another check-up so we can see how his wing is doing.”

Throwing a thumbs-up over his shoulder, Jesse ducked back out the door and began the long walk back to his house. He opened the door and found his house cleaner than it was normally. Muttering about obsessive, bossy women in his life deciding to clean _his_ house, Jesse put his bags down and quickly ate his lunch.

When he was done he cleaned out his trash, poured out the beans and lettuce into a bowl for the swan, and made his way out back.

At first the enclosure looked empty but it was clean – Ana was fastidious about things like that. There were a few more trays of grass and another bowl of diced fruit that appear mostly untouched. That Ana had resorted to feeding the swan only fruit told him of the situation.

The door creaked as he hauled open the bolt and stepped inside. There was no movement but he could hear a low, unhappy hissing coming from somewhere above.

Jesse took a few bold steps away from the door, closing it behind him. Just because the swan hadn’t made a move to escape before he left didn’t mean that he would now – Jesse _had_ changed his routine, after all.

“Didn’t mean to be gone for so long,” Jesse said and the hissing immediately stopped. There was a rattling noise and then the swan appeared on the ramp. True to Ana’s word he looked a bit worse for wear, his feathers in disarray again and in desperate need of a good grooming session, but he didn’t seem _too_ unhealthy for Jesse’s absence.

He flinched when the swan charged at him and released a breath he didn’t know he was holding when the swan stopped just in front of him without running into his legs. The swan peered up at him and then – with surprising care – tugged on the knee of his pants with his beak.

Laughing, Jesse knelt and offered the bowl to the swan. “Got you something,” he said. “Probably not at all good for you but I thought it’d be a nice treat.”

The swan didn’t even look at the bowl when he put it down, instead wobbling closer to nip him on the nose. It seemed reproachful and Jesse laughed.

“I know,” he said and ran his hands over the swan’s dusty wings and along the curve of his neck. “I deserved that.” The swan nipped him again and made little grunting noises in the back of his throat. He pulled out the brush he had shoved into the belt loops of his pants. “But perhaps I can earn your affection back?”

Up close, the swan’s eyes seemed far too calculating, too intelligent, as he looked back and forth between Jesse and the soft-bristled brush. The swan nipped him again, tossed his head, and arched his neck toward the brush.

“Of course, Your Highness,” Jesse said with a laugh, sitting down in the dirt with a grunt and running the brush over the swan’s feathers.

This time the grooming took much longer because the swan seemed to have _opinions_ of how he was to be groomed and made it more difficult by wiggling and wobbling when he was pleased. With Jesse there he ate the entire mess of beans and lettuce and a good portion of the fruit left out for him though he seemed more reluctant now that it had been sitting out in the sun for a few hours.

“You’re so spoiled,” Jesse teased and earned a peck to the thick flesh above his knee. “It’s okay,” he continued as the swan extended a wing as if to order him to groom it. “I’m fine with spoiling you.”

Even when the swan was as groomed as his makeshift tools would let him he ran fingers and brush over the swan’s feathers, tugging out the ones that were bent and shifting some of them back into what he thought was their rightful place. He murmured praises in English and Spanish while he worked and when he was done stroked the long, pleased arch of the swan’s neck.

Groaning, he shoved himself to his feet while the swan made pleased noises in the back of his throat and seemed to inspect Jesse’s work. He wobbled over to the little pond and hopped in, bobbing awkwardly in the water.

Tipping an imaginary hat at him, Jesse left and bolted the door behind him.

* * *

That night Jesse dreamed again.

He rolled out of bed and didn’t even bother to look out the window, somehow sensing that the man was on the docks with his feet trailing in the water. “I missed you,” he breathed and sat at the edge of the dock beside him.

The man smiled sweetly at him. “I missed you too,” he murmured back and leaned over, cupping Jesse’s jaw with an unreadable look on his face. “I didn’t realize how much I would.”

Jesse laughed and tugging his shirt off (he should really just sleep in the nude at this point) he slipped into the lake in just his boxers. The man followed and they swam together for a while before the man drew him out of the water and on to the soft grass at the shore of the lake.

Tangling their fingers together, Jesse kneeled over the man and kissed him, groaning when the man tipped his head back with a muffled sound of pleasure.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Jesse breathed against the man’s lips. “Darlin’, you burn me up something _fierce_.”

The man laughed. “I can tell,” he said, rolling his hips up against Jesse’s.

Despite the lust that burned low in his belly, Jesse couldn’t help but kiss the man again, nipping at his lips and chasing the curl of his tongue and the ridges of his palate. He grunted when the man rolled them, settling on his hips and staring down proudly at Jesse.

“Beautiful,” Jesse whispered, running his hands up and down over the man’s thick thighs, edging slightly inward just to watch him wiggle, ticklish and aroused.

The man caught his wrists and pinned them over his head, leaning close enough to brush his nose against Jesse’s. “I can feel how _beautiful_ you think I am,” he whispered, close enough that Jesse could feel the puffs of his breath against his lips.

How perfect was he that he smelled like sweet melon? That his lips tasted like sugar and grape?

In any other instance he would be embarrassed by the desperate sound he made as the man pressed his lips closer. His tongue invaded Jesse’s mouth, mapping his molars and palate. The man moved his head back and brushed lips and teeth over the tendons of Jesse's neck.

“Can you feel how much I missed you too, sweetness?” Jesse asked breathlessly, arching his back and tipping his head even further to give the man more space to work. He almost wished that the man would bite down, would suck a lurid bruise into his throat.

The man hummed against his neck and Jesse was amazed at how much if affected him, at the hot, burning need that tore through him like wildfire.

Jesse gasped as the man shimmied downward, following the path of tendons and pectorals, lingering on Jesse’s sternum until he reached the wet waistband of Jesse’s boxers. “ _Fuck_ ,” Jesse breathed as the man lifted the band over and down, lifting his hips to let the man draw the offending article of clothing down past his ass. It clung to his thighs, blocking the movement of Jesse’s legs.

He tilted his head down, watched as the man lifted his hard cock with two fingers from beneath as if weighing it. Seeing Jesse watching him intently, the man smirked and slowly drew it to his mouth, using his thumb to roll the foreskin back, revealing the flushed head.

The man pressed a kiss there, precum making his lips shiny and sticky. It drew slick strands of fluid between them as the man pulled back, his lips parting in a wicked grin. He licked his lips and dipped downward again, peeling back the foreskin and toying with it, pinching and rolling it over the glans.

“You’re so wet,” the man laughed but it didn’t seem mocking. If anything, Jesse would think that he sounded _hungry_. The man laughed again and sank slowly down, his lips splitting around Jesse’s cock. His eyes were half-closed and he moved gingerly, feeding it slowly into his mouth as if savoring the slide.

He couldn’t fit much of it - Jesse wasn’t _small_ after all - but he managed to get a good amount in his mouth and throat before Jesse could feel the gentle fluttering of his throat and the way that the man gagged. With a wicked glance full of promise up at Jesse, the man began slowly bobbing his head, using his tongue to draw teasing shapes as he moved, using his hands to stroke what he couldn’t fit in his mouth.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Jesse breathed, realizing for the first time how utterly _wrecked_ he sounded and they had hardly done anything. He bucked, unseating the man and rolling them over awkwardly. It was hard to do with his legs hobbled but clearly the man let him win, arching his back and spreading his legs suggestively as he reclined. " _Sweetness_ ," Jesse breathed. 

Unable to help himself, he ignored foreplay and dove right in, his lips sealing around the man's cock. Jesse hummed, pleased at the man's cry and the intoxicating smell of his arousal. The man came quickly with a breathless gasp, his hands gripping Jesse's wet hair tightly, yanking him closer until Jesse was nearly suffocated against him. 

Jesse couldn't say that he minded too much, if anyone had asked him. 

He leaned back, smug, licking his lips as he waited for the man to catch his breath again. Rubbing soothing patterns into the man's hip, Jesse leaned up to press a sticky kiss to the center of the man's chest. "Can I finger you, sweetness?" Jesse whispered, his lips catching on the silvery line of a scar. He moved, unsure how deep it went and if there was damage that affected the man's sensitivity. 

Jesse supposed that it might kill the mood if he asked so he didn't. 

The man's legs fell open wider as he gasped, showing off where he was wet and slick and still swollen with lingering arousal. Jesse swallowed hard.

"Well?" the man asked, still sounding wrecked and breathless. 

Laughing, giddy despite the arousal thundering through him, Jesse's lips found one of the man's nipples and he  _sucked_ , teasing the little nub with teeth and tongue while his middle finger slid so smoothly into the man that Jesse nearly came right then and there. 

He spent what felt like hours sucking, fingering, jerking off the man until he came again on his fingers. His muscles clenched so nicely but Jesse wasn't sure if it was appropriate to say so he kept his fool mouth shut and instead latched on to his other nipple. The man howled and came again, his hands scrambling against the back of Jesse's head, his nails digging into the skin of his upper back and scalp. 

Jesse reveled in the slick sounds the man made as Jesse's fingers pistoned further, deeper, faster into him. He was burning hot inside, wet and molten and Jesse groaned. That finally set the man off, crying out with a hoarse voice. He yanked Jesse up by his hair, scratching his neck and shoulders up even more in his excitement. 

The man wrapped his hand around Jesse's cock which hung hot and leaking over the man's thigh and that did it for him. He came hard, his world fading to gray as his soul seemed to have been stolen through his dick. Cracking his eyes open, he whimpered at the sight that greeted him.

His long hair spread out, the man looked like a priceless piece of art, a most erotic painting. His chest still heaved, his body still covered in a sheen of sweat. Lines of Jesse's cum streaked his thighs and hips, coated the back of the man's hand. Groaning and wishing that he was younger, could go for the Round 2 that he desperately wanted, Jesse flopped down into the grass. 

After a moment of almost companionable silence broken only by the sound of their labored breaths, the man groaned and began to lever himself up. 

“Stay,” Jesse whispered, chest still heaving as he fumbled to hold on to the man’s slick skin.

The man looked startled and then his face softened into a gentle smile. He slipped down in the grass at the shore of the lake and tangled their legs together. In a short while they would be sticky and uncomfortable as the heat of a summer night made its way through their euphoric haze but for now this was perfect: the feeling of the man’s arms wrapping around his waist, the thundering of his own heart and the fluttering he could feel from the man’s. The way their breaths slowly began synching up as they drifted off to sleep.

“Only until dawn,” the man whispered into the sweat-slick skin of Jesse’s chest.

Jesse gripped him tighter. “I’ll treasure every moment.”

* * *

Jesse woke to the early pre-dawn light and swore when he found himself naked on the shores of the lake. He found his clothes on the dock and quickly slipped on his boxers, casting nervous glances across the water. Fortunately it seemed just this side of too early for anyone to be out but he still bolted inside with his arms full of his own clothes.

In the safety of his shower, washing off lake mud clinging to the hairs on his legs, Jesse wondered. He scrubbed his front quickly but when he turned his back to the spray of cool water he had an unpleasant surprise.

Hissing, he rinsed the suds from his body and stepped out into the bathroom, uncaring of the puddles he formed beneath him as he craned his neck to look at his back in the mirror. The light dusting of fine red scratches covering his back didn’t surprise him – he had apparently spent the night on the grassy shore so those scratches were expected but...

There were other scratches on his back too.

The kind that were drawn by human nails.

 _The kind that he remembered the man from his dreams making_.

Swallowing hard, Jesse let his head hang as he thought. This…this changed everything.

* * *

He couldn’t shake his unease as he walked out to visit the swan for breakfast and the swan picked up on it, making low grunting noises in the back of his throat.

A part of Jesse marveled that it had only taken just over a week for the creature to warm up to him. He’d heard of swans being impossible to handle for their evil nature (and he was only _mostly_ joking about that) but now the swan he was beginning to think of as “his” was almost affectionate. The swan reminded him of a cat: willing to be worshipped and have someone cater to his every whim but only affectionate on his terms.

“I think I’m going crazy,” Jesse whispered shakily, running a knuckle along the smooth seam of the swan’s beak. His finger was caught in the swan as if in reproach before it was released. “Sorry,” he mumbled and put the bowl of food down for the swan. “It’s just…a lot to take in.”

The swan peered at him with a single beady black eye and then gently – even more gentle than he had ever been before – nipped him on the nose. Jesse ran the back of his knuckles along the swan's neck with a wavering smile.

“Alright,” he said as if the swan had spoken. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly and the swan’s head wobbled. “I’ll leave you alone.”

For the first time in a few days the swan hissed at him but didn’t seem particularly upset so Jesse didn’t pay him much mind. He made a note of closing and bolting the enclosure door behind him.

Ana took one look at him and banished him from work that day.

When it came time for his lunch break, Liv showed up at his house and with poisonous purple nails that looked like talons, grabbed him and shoved him in her car. At his favorite burrito place she paid for their food and shoved him again into a booth in the corner.

“Okay,” Liv said. “Spill.” She made a face when she bit into the burrito she had ordered. “I don’t know how you can like this crap.”

“It’s fine,” Jesse mumbled defensively. “It’s better than Taco Bell.”

Liv rolled her eyes and jabbed a finger at him. “Hey! Don’t you speak ill of Taco Bell!” she let him be for exactly ten seconds before saying, “Okay, come on; spill! What’s gotten you all up in a funk?”

He resisted, taking four large bites of this burrito with breaks to eat chips and guacamole. Liv was remarkably patient through it and said nothing except to give him very pointed looks while she slurped her soda.

Halfway through his burrito he finally said, “I’ve been having some weird dreams lately.”

Liv hummed. “What kind of weird? Like having-sex-with-my-coworker dreams?” she wrinkled her nose. “Clown nightmares? Like _IT_?”

“Like what?”

“ _IT_.”

Jesse took another bite of his burrito. “What’s it?”

The look Liv gave him was murderous. “Stephen King book. And movie. _IT_.”

“ _Oooh._ ” Jesse scratched his nose and took another bite. “No,” he mumbled around his mouthful.

Liv made a disgusted sound. “What kind of weird dreams? And don’t make me regret asking, _pendejo_.”

After a moment of hesitation, Jesse told her about the man on the dock and the scratches on his back. She already knew some of it – Jesse had told her the sordid details each time he dreamt of the man on the dock…but he hadn’t told her about the feather he had found in his bed.

Now he did and he told her about the scratches on his back – and how he remembered earning them in his dream.

(He of course kept the specifics out, hoarding those memories for his own despite his unease. Even now he could still remember the way the man tasted on his tongue, the way his fingers had tangled in his hair, the sounds he made when Jesse swirled his tongue _just so_ …the way he arched and bucked as-)

Liv snapped her fingers in his face. “ _This is so fucked up you have no idea_ ,” she grumbled, switching to Spanish as a family sat at the booth near them. “ _Of all of the open tables, they chose to sit fucking_ there?”

Hoping that his face wasn’t as flushed as it felt, Jesse took a big bite of his burrito. The innuendo wasn’t lost on him, especially when Liv’s eyes dipped down and her brows rose. Glaring, he chewed his bite and took a big sip from his drink.

“ _Okay_ ,” Liv said, drumming her nails on the table. She checked her phone for the time and made an annoyed sound. “ _So this is…a bit of a problem._ ”

Jesse snorted. “ _You think?_ ”

“ _Maybe you’re haunted by a demon,_ ” Liv teased.

Having just taken another large bite, Jesse glared at her as he chewed.

Liv laughed. “ _So you have a trespasser. That you’ve been hooking up with_.”

“ _What about the feather?_ ” he shot back. “ _And…did you or Ana clean my house while I was gone?_ ” Liv shook her head. “ _I came back and everything was clean – and there was food for the swan in the refrigerator._ ”

Sighing, Liv clasped her fingers together in front of her on the table. The effect was almost ruined by the hot sauce and queso stains on her hands. Jesse flicked a napkin at her so that it draped over her knuckles. “ _So what are you saying?_ ” she asked seriously, taking the napkin and wiping the spills off.

Jesse glanced around and then back at her. “ _You know what I’m saying_ ,” he hissed.

“ _I…Jessito, you know I love you but…you know what you’re implying is…_ ” she pursed her lips.

“ _Crazy_ ,” Jesse said flatly. “ _Yeah. I know, Liv_.”

Liv took a deep breath. “ _I think you’re crazy,_ ” she told him. “ _But…I’m not sure what to tell you about_ this _.”_ She waved one of her hands as if to encompass his entire, very strange situation. “ _If it…if the swan…_ ” she stopped, taking her lower lip between her teeth as she thought. “ _If this is what you’re implying_ ,” she said slowly. “ _Then wouldn’t he have some kind of…I don’t know, latent intelligence? As a swan? Or tonight if you see him, can’t you ask him?_ ”

Thoughtfully, Jesse took another bite. “ _I’ve been thinking about it_ ,” he admitted.

They sat in silence for a long moment, neither of them wanting to think too much more into it.

But on the way back to the rescue, Jesse couldn’t help but agonize over it.

What if the feather had just gotten caught in his uniform? What if all of it was just a big coincidence? Or a dozen little consequences one after another?

What if the man on the docks was just some creep that Jesse had been indulging in? _One that had broken in to his house_ – oh Lord above…

Liv patted his wrist when they parked back at the rescue. “I can’t believe I’m saying this,” she muttered. “But just go ask the swan. Or relax. I don’t know.” She patted his wrist. “I’ll text you later?” he nodded and watched her walk back inside. Throwing his car into drive, he rattled down the dirt road to his house.

* * *

The swan was bobbing around his little pond when Jesse finally got the courage – with quite a pep talk from his good friend Captain Morgan – to approach him. He craned his head to look at Jesse curiously and balked at the rope Jesse had coiled in his hands.

It took Jesse a few tries to get the bolt open in which time the swan made it to dry land and had climbed halfway up one of the ramps. He was fluffed up nervously, not quite a proper mantle, and cast nervous looks between Jesse’s face and the rope in his hands.

“C’mere,” Jesse said and the swan hissed. “I just want to talk.”

The swan hissed again, fluffing his feathers up even more. He continued to back away, flaring his wings a little. Again it wasn’t quite a proper mantle but it was almost passable.

“It makes so much sense,” Jesse said, taking a few bold steps forward. “You don’t flap, you don’t preen…you’re not a real bird, are you?” the swan hissed and backed up a few steps. “A _real_ bird would have already made a break for it but you don’t. Why?”

It was embarrassing, really, but later as he nursed a headache, Jesse knew that that was what he got for trying to do such reckless things while very drunk. His attention on the swan, Jesse stepped on a stray piece of the rope coiled in his hands and fell.

When he came to, it was well past midnight and he was stretched out on his couch, his head pounding. For a moment he thought that it had all been a dream again and the ache in his head was from the alcohol still on his coffee table. But as he sat up and cupped his head, he could feel the lump beneath the skin.

Leaping to his feet Jesse stopped, waiting for the world to stop spinning and his stomach to stop heaving before he ran to the back door. He stumbled a few steps out into the backyard and looked around.

The fireflies glittered sporadically, fewer now than he remembered as a kid.

The swan was nowhere to be seen in his enclosure, the door to his cage firmly shut.

The floating dock and the still surface of the lake, lit by the fat silver moon above, were empty.

Taking a shaky breath that felt more like a sob, Jesse went back inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for everyone that left kudos and comments! I'm so glad to hear that you enjoyed this burning dumpster fire, I really am. 
> 
> Feel free to yell at me on my tumblr as well at [classywastelandbread](https://classywastelandbread.tumblr.com)!
> 
> Thank you again!
> 
> ~DC


	5. It's a Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Used male terms for Hanzo but otherwise tried to remain rather vague. 
> 
> Warnings for:  
> Oral sex (fellatio and cunnilingus)  
> Sex toys  
> Discussion of penetrative sex (piv)

The next day, the swan wouldn’t let him come close.

When he put the bowl of melon and grapes – no nuts or grains in an attempt to apologize – he grabbed the bowl in his beak and upended it. When Jesse came close the swan hissed, as angry and feral as he had been when he was first rescued from the park.

Jesse walked into the main building of the rescue that day nursing a bruise on the tender skin between his forefinger and thumb from a harsh peck when he had tried to push his luck.

It took a team of them to wrestle the swan into submission for a checkup, which Ana was able to do in the cage. They managed to hold the swan still enough to put a small blue band around one of his ankles since it was clear that he was sticking around. Unable to say exactly why this distressed him, Jesse could only watch and wonder. 

He once more walked out with a bruise, this time to his cheekbone rather than his eye.

The swan refused to eat, overturning everything that Jesse tried to bring him. His feathers got dirtier as he wouldn’t let Jesse near him and he still didn’t preen.

Most upsetting in many ways was that he now tried to escape.

Jesse had gotten so used to the swan’s complacency that he wasn’t as alert as he should have been. A few times the swan had nearly gotten out when he opened the gate but Jesse had been able to shut it before he could. He continued to worry over the swan as his behavior grew increasingly erratic.

He still didn’t see the man on the dock. Hadn’t seen him since he had drunkenly confronted the swan.

A few days later (two, really – Jesse had been counting, his heart in his throat) the swan tried something braver. Even malnourished he was  _ quick _ and when Jesse opened the door he bolted out.

Terrified despite himself, Jesse caught him – one hand wrapped around the base of his head, the other looped around his body to press his wings flat against him – and clung to him while he flailed. Then the swan gave up, going completely limp in Jesse’s arms in a way that broke his heart.

“You’re shaking,” Jesse said, stepping back into the enclosure and closing the door. He swallowed around the lump in his throat, his own heart hammering. “You’re…you’re scared. Of _ me _ .” The swan trembled, feeling too light, too bony. Jesse found that he shook too, his heart rising in his throat. Walking to the nearest ramp, Jesse sat down and praying that he wouldn’t be pecked or savaged, released the swan’s head.

The swan continued to shiver miserably, not looking at Jesse, his head drooping down. Very carefully Jesse arranged the swan in his lap, his heart lurching as he felt more bone than he should through the swan’s gritty feathers.

“Oh,” he breathed, his voice shaking. The swan hissed but it sounded halfhearted at best. “Oh, sweetness. I’m sorry.”

The swan twisted his head to look at Jesse, an odd look in his beady black eyes. He looked away but Jesse saw the fear there and the intelligence that shouldn’t be in a swan’s eyes.

He swallowed thickly and gently ran his fingers through the tangled and messy wings. They were coated in dust and leaves and little twigs, brown and dun instead of white and cream. “Can…” he swallowed again and the swan arched his neck to bring their faces closer. “Can I meet you? The…the real you. You’re the man I’ve been seeing on the dock, right?” the swan looked away and he trembled even more in Jesse’s hands. Braving another hard bite, Jesse lifted his hand to the swan’s smooth beak. “What do I gotta do to earn your trust back, sweetness?”

The swan shifted and Jesse let him, awkwardly stepping out of his lap. He walked – slowly, tired and malnourished – up into one of the higher perches and disappeared. Jesse didn’t chase him and he sighed.

He supposed he got his answer.

It ended up coming down to being in the right place at the right time. He had woken up late from what Liv and Ana called a “depression nap” after his “talk” with the swan. As the last rays of the sun were dipping below the horizon, he had been making cornbread and stir-fried vegetables cut small enough for a swan to eat with his favorite blanket around his shoulders when he saw a flash of light coming from the yard.

Coming from the swan’s enclosure.

Dropping his knife on the cutting board Jesse yanked open the back door and ran out just in time to see an arm reach through the bars and grope for the bolt that held the door shut.

They saw each other at the same time and the man from the dock – the swan’s human form at night – froze, his eyes wide with terror. Swallowing hard, Jesse took a few steps forward and watched, his stomach churning, as the man recoiled as if afraid.

Jesse grabbed the bolt and in a move that was second nature to him by now, tugged it and then door to the enclosure open. For a long moment the two of them stared at each other.

He cleared his throat. “Um…hey.”

“Hello,” the man said, shuffling nervously.

“Oh!” Jesse exclaimed, making the man jump. He unwrapped the blanket from around his shoulders and offered it to the other man. 

The man’s brows furrowed as if confused but after a few seconds accepted the blanket and wrapped it around his shoulders. It was just barely long enough to cover his ass and Jesse resolved to not look anywhere lower than his shoulders, halfheartedly cursing the Pavlovian response he had developed for him. “Thank you,” the man said softly with a half-bow. 

Rubbing his hands nervously on his jeans, Jesse stepped back from the door. He coughed awkwardly. “Yes,” he said. “Come on, I was just making dinner.” Careful not to crowd him, he ushered the man back to his house and found that the vegetables he had been cooking on the stove had burned and the kitchen was filled with smoke.

The man watched, bemused, as Jesse yelled and ran inside, removing the pan from heat and opening the windows to let the smoke out. Breathing hard, partially from the smoke but also from fanning the air with a dishtowel to clear the air, Jesse leaned against the doorway.

“Shall we try again?” he held out his hand toward the man. Both of them stared at the quarter-sized purple bruise still marking the skin between his pointer finger and thumb. Jesse swallowed, suddenly unsure of himself. “Oh,” he said awkwardly, his hand dropping slightly.

The man looked up at him, his face unreadable. Then he smiled and placed his hand in Jesse’s and let himself be drawn into the house.

To hold off the man’s hunger, Jesse gave him a bowl of fruit and cautioned him to eat slowly to not make himself sick after having not eaten for a few days. Neither of them spoke about the man’s bizarre transformation from swan to man and back, unsure of what to say. Likewise they didn’t speak of their nighttime trysts or other heavy topics.

Jesse asked the man what  _ else _ he might like to eat and sheepishly agreed that they should probably start off simple. He made the man a plate of scrambled eggs and toast and managed to find some vegetables to fry with them to make it a little classier.

“Breakfast for dinner sounds lovely,” Jesse commented as he slid the plate toward the man. “Eat up – I won’t make you suffer while I cook myself something up.” He smiled when the man’s stomach grumbled as if on cue and handed him a fork.

The man blushed cutely and…Jesse was so used to seeing him flushed with arousal that it was almost strange to think that it was caused by something as innocuous as food. “Thank you,” he said and gave another half-bow as he dug in.

Jesse fetched him a jar of raspberry preserves from the farmer’s market down the street for the toast and watched in mild horror as the man slathered the toast with the preserves, scooping the eggs on top, and ate it all like an open-faced sandwich.

Shaking his head and not wanting to make his guest feel weirder than he already did, Jesse turned around and dug through his refrigerator. He found a rasher of bacon from the butcher – the date told him that Ana had gone the other day and dropped it off without him knowing – and a few more eggs. His potatoes were too bad to use and the man wrinkled his nose as Jesse threw them out the window into the compost bucket. Instead he pulled out a bag of frozen hash browns and made a pile in the toaster oven.

He jumped when a hand reached past him for the handle of the pan. “You can work on the bacon,” the man said almost shyly. “I don’t know  _ why _ you started the eggs first.”

Jesse laughed and obeyed, nudging the side of his hips into the man’s. He got a firmer nudge back and was pleased to see the flush on the man’s cheeks.

Of course the man was hungry again – he hadn’t been  _ full _ when he ate earlier but they wanted to pace his body as it got used to eating again. Two days might not be  _ too _ bad, but the last thing Jesse wanted to do was make him sick.

When Jesse’s meal was done, they carried another small plate for the man and Jesse’s own dinner into the living room. They ate in silence as they watched some ridiculous sci-fi movie. The man ate his second plate and stole pieces of bacon from Jesse’s.

As soon as Jesse leaned back with a contented sigh he found his lap filled, his blanket discarded over the arm of the couch. He automatically brought his hands up to frame the man’s tapered waist, swallowing hard as he stared up into the man’s dark eyes.

“Forgive my inattention,” the man said, wiggling his hips to settle himself further in Jesse’s lap. He cupped Jesse’s chin with one hand and traced his lips with a thumb.

“Whoa!” Jesse exclaimed, his hands automatically lifting to cup the curve of the man’s hips. He swallowed hard and forced himself to keep his eyes up, to focus on the man’s face and not the way his body undulated on his. There was an odd look in his eyes, a kind of quiet acceptance that made Jesse’s stomach churn - like what was coming (no pun intended) was inevitable. “Hey, uh…”

The man stopped, his playful smirk fading as an odd look crossed his face. “Oh.” He began to pull away like the retreating tide, his face carefully blank. “I see.”

Jesse felt his heart drop. “No!” he exclaimed, perhaps a little  _ too _ quickly, and the man flinched back. Jesse licked his lips and careful to keep his touch gentle, wrapped his fingers around the man’s wrist. “Ain’t like that, I swear. Things are just…a little different now.” He flinched at his word choice.

“Things are different because you know I am a swan now,” the man said flatly before Jesse could say anything else. “Because now you know what I am.” He pulled away and Jesse’s hand tightened around his wrist. The man tugged on his hand and Jesse’s grip tightened again. “Release me!”

“Ain’t like that,” Jesse repeated. “Just…”

The man stood, his face carefully blank. “I have indulged in my own selfish whims for too long,” he said quietly, as if to himself. He looked away and tugged again at the wrist that Jesse held captive. “Tomorrow I will learn to fly so that you may release me.”

“Sweetness,” Jesse whispered, standing with him, careful not to crowd him, tried not to tighten his grip on the man’s wrist any further. He was already flighty, pun not intended, ready to flee if his grip loosened…and ready to fight if it got any tighter. “Please just…just hear me out?”

The man took a shaky breath and tugged again on his captive wrist. “Let me go.”

Jesse swallowed and tugged the man’s hand to his face where he pressed a soft kiss to his knuckles. The man flinched and looked back, his eyes wide with an emotion that Jesse couldn’t yet identify. A little fear; perhaps even a little hope.

“I  _ promise _ ,” he said. “I will let you go but…I reckon we got a lot to talk about right now. Just…hear me out? Please?”

The man looked away. “There isn’t anything to talk about,” he said bitterly and tugged on his hand again. “You thought I was…something I’m not. Now you know the truth.” He looked back at Jesse. “Release me.”

Jesse licked his dry lips. “No,” he said softly. “You’ve said your piece…let me say mine? Please?”

The man looked away, teeth grinding. “Then speak,” he snapped to the coffee table and Jesse’s heart fell into his stomach at the defeated tone of his voice.

“Please look at me?” Jesse begged. “Please, sweetness?”

“Why do you call me that still?” the man demanded and now Jesse could place the tone of voice. How often had he done the same; put up a wall of thorns to protect himself from more heartbreak. “ _ Sweetness _ .”

Unsure of where to even begin, Jesse licked his lips. But the man looked back at him, his face carefully blank. “I thought you were a dream,” Jesse blurted. “The first night I saw you. I thought I was dreaming.”

From the way the man flinched, that was exactly the wrong thing to say. He looked away. “So that was why you wanted me,” he said. “Because I was a dream.”

“No!” Jesse exclaimed and the man flinched. Then he licked his lips. “But yes. I saw you and thought that there was no way that someone that beautiful could want me back.”

“I am a  _ swan _ ,” the man hissed through clenched teeth.

Jesse swallowed. “Yes,” he agreed. “And beautiful. In this form and as a swan. But seeing you sitting there…I thought there was no way you weren’t a dream – some wishful thought that crossed my mind.”

The man yanked his wrist out of Jesse’s in a show of strength that he wasn’t expecting. He just wished that it didn’t go straight to his dick because now was absolutely  _ not _ the time for that. “So you bedded me,” he said bitterly. “And now that you know that I am real – that I exist in reality and not just your subconscious mind, what now?” tears were welling up in his eyes. “I am only a dream to you.”

Knowing that he had to choose his words very carefully, Jesse slowly reached for the man’s hand – just like he would with the swan when he was a half-wild thing, just like he would for a skittish animal. The man was scared and Jesse could understand it. Animals liked routine and humans were no different. The man – just like Jesse – had grown used to their usual nighttime interactions. Now he didn’t know what to expect – perhaps he even had his own thoughts and hopes of what would happen – and he was afraid.

Being honest, Jesse was too.

Under the man’s sharp gaze, now resembling more a hawk or other bird of prey than the flat, hate-filled gaze of a swan, Jesse lifted his hand to his face and pressed another soft kiss to his knuckles. “Now, if you are…willing I…” he swallowed, trying to find the right words. “I want you. Not just…I want…” he sighed. “I want to court you. Properly.”

He watched as the man’s eyes widened and his mouth drop open into a soft “O” of surprise before it was whisked away, back into that blank mask.  _ Don’t get your hopes up _ , he could almost hear the man say to himself.

“I want to make you dinner at night,” Jesse blurted before he could think of anything else to say. “I want to hold you on the couch while we watch a movie. I don’t want to think that I need to rush through anything with you because I only see you in my dreams, however long I do dream.” He tugged the man closer, lifting his other hand – where the man could see it so that he wasn’t startled by it – to brush his knuckles along his cheek.

The man tugged his hand free from Jesse’s loose clasp and crossed his arms self-consciously over his stomach. Leaning down – slowly, so the man wouldn’t be startled by the motion – Jesse grabbed the discarded blanket and offered it to the man.

Jesse licked his lips. “If you want to stay longer,” he said softly. “I can get you some spare clothes that may fit you. If that would make you comfortable.”

He watched with his heart in his throat as the man wrapped the blanket over his shoulders then adjusted it so that it was wrapped under his arms; then he changed it so that it hung loosely around his waist like a towel, one hand holding it shut.

“Why?” he demanded and again Jesse could understand. In his own past he had hidden his unease behind a wall of bluster, of harsh words and harsh tones – he still did it now, especially when drunk. He didn’t hold it against the man who snarled at him through gritted teeth.

“‘Why’ what?”

The man licked his lips, shifting his weight. “Why would you want to court me?”

And wasn’t  _ that _ a loaded question with a minefield of wrong answers.

Jesse very carefully considered his words. “For one, I like you.”

“You like  _ sex _ with me,” the man said flatly.

Well…yes. But Jesse knew better than to agree right away. Inspiration struck.

“If  _ you _ only wanted sex, you would not have carried me in to my bed that one night,” Jesse pointed out.

“We’re not talking about  _ me _ ,” the man replied. He took a step backward, extending the distance between them. “Why would  _ you _ like to court  _ me _ ?”  

Jesse regarded him, itching to take a step closer but afraid of scaring him away. He weighed his words carefully. “Because I know the body,” he said softly. “The body I thought was a dream but now that I know that he’s real…I want to know the man.”

For a long moment, the man made no other movement. “I need to think about it.” there was a slight blush on his cheeks.

“Fair,” Jesse agreed. It wasn’t a ‘no’, but it also wasn’t a ‘yes’. But he’d take what he could get. “That doesn’t mean you’re not welcome in the house though.”

The man looked at him with another unreadable expression. “And if I say ‘no’?” he asked. “To your…offer?”

“I’d still make you dinner if you wanted,” Jesse assured him. “You’d still be welcome in here. I’d still leave out clothes for you to wear. You could still come in to eat or hang out with or without me. I ain’t a monster.”

For a long moment the man regarded him and took a few steps back. “No,” he said enigmatically. “I’ve met monsters, human and not. You certainly aren’t either kind.” Without waiting for a reply, he began walking toward the back door.

“Wait!” Jesse yelled when the man’s hand rested on the doorknob. “Can…can I have your name?”

The man stopped. “You…may call me Hanzo.”

“Hanzo,” Jesse murmured. “Thank you.”

Hanzo turned as if surprised. “What for?”

“For…I don’t know,” Jesse admitted. “I…I’m just glad to be able to call you something now.”

Another odd look crossed Hanzo’s face. Then it softened and Jesse felt as if his heart was melting. “Such a strange man,” he murmured though it sounded almost fond.

“Do…do you want to stay longer?” Jesse asked. “I can get you clothes to wear.”

Hanzo considered it. “I have a lot to think about,” he said at last.

Though he wanted to protest, Jesse nodded. “Let me at least give you some pants, just in case,” he suggested. “There’s a park across the lake and I’d hate to explain why I have a naked man wandering around my yard.”

For what felt like the first time, Hanzo smirked. “I didn’t see you complaining earlier.”

“You’ll be the death of me, I swear,” Jesse said with a laugh and ducked down the hall to fetch clothes as he promised. He found a loose flannel that would be light enough for the sticky summer heat and a pair of gym shorts that would probably fit Hanzo.

Hanzo accepted the clothes and Jesse tried not to whimper when he let the blanket drop – right there in the middle of the dining room – to pull on his borrowed clothes. Jesse couldn’t help the broken sound that left him if a gun was held to his head. Fully dressed in his borrowed clothes, Hanzo picked up the blanket and turned.

He must have seen something he liked because he gave Jesse a smirk that sent heat curling low in his belly. “Don’t let it get to your head,” he said with a lingering glance that spoke of just what he was talking about.

Then he left, leaving Jesse to scrape his jaw off the ground.

Growling, Jesse stomped off to take a cold shower that did just about nothing to quell the memory of Hanzo’s heated gaze.

* * *

“Good morning,” Jesse greeted Hanzo as he carried his food out the next morning. He paused just outside the gate. “You…um…”

Hanzo squinted his eyes at him through the bars. He grunted.

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’,” Jesse said and opened the bolt to the enclosure. “I added some oats and honey for you,” he added. “And Ana brought by some fruit early this morning so I added some for you too.”

The swan nipped – gently – at the brush hanging from his hip and Jesse laughed.

“Yes, I’ll get to that,” he said. “Think you’re up to eating and being groomed at the same time?” Hanzo pecked him and he laughed, setting down the bowl.

Now that he knew that the swan was a man, Jesse chattered at him. He updated Hanzo on the latest headlines and news stories as he gently spread one of Hanzo’s large wings, running the brush lightly over his feathers to arrange them properly and get the bits of dirt and detritus off.

“I’ll need to check with Ana and Lúcio about better ways to preen you,” he added. “A brush is only doing you so much.” He tucked the handle back into his belt loop and wiggled his fingers between Hanzo’s coverts. “I just don’t know if I need to pluck any.”

Hanzo’s long neck jerked up and he twisted to look at Jesse.

“I know,” Jesse assured him. “I won’t pluck any right now because I don’t know if anything needs to be fixed. Neither of us know how to bird, remember?”

Hissing, Hanzo twisted and returned to eating his meal.

“Although now that I think about it, I think you have an appointment later today for another checkup.” Hanzo’s head snapped up again and Jesse grinned at him right up until Hanzo pecked his nose.

Jesse continued playing with Hanzo’s feathers, running his finger and the brush through them as he tried his best to simulate the preening of another bird. Unlike other birds he had some difficulty telling if there was any dander or dead feathers, which earned a few unhappy sounds from Hanzo.

Still, by the time that Hanzo was done with his breakfast, Jesse’s fingers were coated in a fine layer of dust but his feathers looked much better. Hanzo inspected them while Jesse peered down at the bowl.

“Do you not like bananas, sweetness?” Hanzo nipped him as he laughed. Leaning down, Jesse tickled his throat beneath his beak like he would a cat. Hanzo nipped him again – much gentler this time – but leaned into the caress. “Alright, I’ll take care of it. No more bananas for you.”

Hanzo stretched, inspecting his wings and Jesse thought he looked pleased.

“Come on,” Jesse urged at the door. “You may as well come along.”

With Hanzo waddling along behind him, Jesse ducked into the house and tucked the bananas away. When he turned around, he found that Hanzo had found the couch blanket he had been using the night before and had crafted himself a kind of nest.

“Brat,” Jesse teased, running his fingers along the curve of Hanzo’s neck. “Lemme just call the office and see-” They both looked down at the table where Jesse’s phone was ringing. “Well, speak of the devil,” Jesse said as he answered. “I was just about to ask you when Han-…the swan was scheduled.”

“Habibi _ , you know better than to name them! _ ” Ana said chidingly.

Jesse bit his lip against a yelp when Hanzo pecked him. He twisted out of range and flipped the bird…oh  _ Lord _ the puns! “Nah, I didn’t mean to. But he looks like a Han.”

He could sense the eye-roll that Ana gave him even through the phone. “ _ How are your wrangling skills? Do you think you could get him here in ten? _ ”

“Probably,” Jesse said thoughtfully and Hanzo gave him what was clearly a suspicious look. “See you in a few.” He hung up the phone and clipped it to his pants. “Well, that was Ana, they’re ready to see you in a few minutes.”

Petulantly, Hanzo wiggled deeper into his blanket nest and tugged the edges higher.

“I know,” Jesse assured him as if he had spoken. “It’s comfortable, isn’t it? We can take it with us if you want.” Hanzo peered up at him suspiciously but allowed Jesse to very carefully scoop him up – blanket and all – into his arms. “Don’t get used to it,” Jesse grumbled and Hanzo tugged very gently at his ear.

He set Hanzo down in the wire carrier and arranged the blanket just so before loading both of them into his truck and driving down the road. It wasn’t until he was opening the back and Ana was coming out to watch him with the swan that he realized his error.

“Where are your gloves?” Ana asked. “Just because he hasn’t bitten you in a while doesn’t mean he won’t start now.”

Startled, he looked down at Hanzo who wiggled the front of his bill through the bars at Ana. The swan wobbled as Jesse lifted the cage.

“He’s going to bite you,” Liv teased in a sing-song voice. She and Lúcio were peering out through the back doors of the clinic, clearly ready for a show. Her phone was out, trained on Jesse.

Before his mind could catch up with his fool mouth, Jesse said, “It’s alright – I’ve come to like being bitten by him.”

He screamed when Hanzo’s head whipped around and bit him through the bars.

* * *

Jesse jumped when arms wrapped around his waist from behind, nearly dropping the steaks he was putting in the pan. “ _ Fuck _ , sweetness,” Jesse said, putting the steaks back down and turning.

He made a pleased noise when Hanzo leaned up on his toes and captured his mouth in a filthy kiss. “That can be arranged,” he purred, grabbing a double handful of Jesse’s ass and squeezing. “But right now I’m hungry.”

Swearing fitfully, Jesse gripped Hanzo’s chin when he moved back but despite how much he wanted to, didn’t yank him back for another kiss. “You’re going to be the  _ death _ of me, I swear.”

Hanzo’s lips curled into a smug smile and he tugged away, his eyes lingering on the tent in Jesse’s sweatpants. “But what a way to go.” He stepped closer, caging Jesse in against the counter with one hand and palmed Jesse’s erection with the other. “What’s for dinner?”

Growling, Jesse – gently – pushed him away. “ _ Tease _ ,” he growled though he was smiling. “I’m just starting. Do you want to help?”

Chuckling, Hanzo moved to the sink to wash his hands and Jesse felt like he had passed some kind of test. He clicked his tongue chidingly when he saw the steaks in Jesse’s hands and pushed him away, pulling a knife from the knife block.

“These are in terrible condition!” Hanzo scolded, pulling out the honing steel from the block. He slapped Jesse’s hand away when he moved to grab the steaks. Shrugging to himself, Jesse began peeling potatoes. There was something unfairly attractive – but to be fair,  _ everything _ about Hanzo was unfairly attractive – about watching him hone the knife in his hand and then trim some of the fat and gristle from the steaks.

Hanzo asked brusque questions but Jesse was beginning to understand that he was just like that so he sat back, peeling potatoes and pointing wordlessly at the cabinets and drawers for the things that Hanzo asked for.

Cooking with Hanzo was…well it checked off every secret wish of his and even some that he didn’t knew he had.

Hanzo didn’t seem to mind if he hummed as he peeled potatoes and if it was a song he knew, Hanzo hummed along with him. He came to peel potatoes with him, sitting so that their knees knocked against each other’s as they leaned over the bucket. They raced to peel potatoes and ended up with more than they needed and Jesse laughed off Hanzo’s frustration and instead pulled out a large stock pot that would fit all of them.

He watched as Hanzo stole a few sprigs of rosemary from his herb garden and briskly dispatched them, cutting them into small pieces that he added to the water in the stock pot. Then Hanzo and Jesse raced to cut potatoes into smaller chunks but of course Hanzo won.

(Jesse didn’t even put up a good fight of it, too distracted by the sure movements of Hanzo’s hands, of the way his eyes sparkled in the warm light of his kitchen, of the shy little blush on his cheeks when he caught Jesse staring.)

Dinner happened much later than either of them had intended mostly because of the potatoes. But upon learning that Jesse had a small 2-cup food processor, Hanzo showed him how to make herbed butter and when the potatoes were done they mixed some of their new butter into the potatoes.

They ate on the couch, starting off at a respectable distance apart but slowly they edged closer as if drawn by gravity. By the time they were finished with their meal, Hanzo was sitting tall in Jesse’s lap, pressed close with Jesse’s hands warming his hips.

Jesse swallowed, staring up into Hanzo’s dark eyes. “Sweetness,” he breathed and swallowed again. It was a struggle not to lean up and kiss him, or yank Hanzo down further into his lap, or flip them over so that Hanzo lay on the couch…

Gently, Hanzo brushed his fingers against the scruff of Jesse’s chin then up to tangle his fingers in Jesse’s hair. He hummed, leaning into the caress as Hanzo dug the tips of his fingers just so into his scalp.

“Let me take care of you,” Hanzo whispered, shifting to whisper in Jesse’s ear.

Jesse’s breath hitched when he felt the tug of Hanzo’s teeth against his earlobe and then the brush of his lips against the sensitive skin behind his ear. “Sweetness,” he breathed again and was only a little embarrassed at the needy whimper he let out when Hanzo slid smoothly out of his lap. “You don’t have to…”

To his surprise, Hanzo smirked up at him. “I didn’t have to, not ever,” he pointed out as he unzipped Jesse’s pants, thumbed open the button. “But I did because I want to and you were so obviously willing.” He pressed a palm to where Jesse’s cock struggled against his inseam. “Do you want me to stop?” he asked more seriously, pulling his hand away though his eyes lingered a second longer. “Just tell me ‘no’.”

“Ain’t that,” Jesse insisted and drew Hanzo back into his lap. “I just...don’t want you to think that this...that you must feel obligated to do this.” 

Hanzo smiled and there was a hint of a wicked edge to it. “I don’t feel obligated,” he assured Jesse, tipping his head back for a kiss that was all teeth and tongue. “I  _ want _ to.” 

This time Jesse didn’t stop him when he slid down between his legs. He did whimper though, he hands scrambling for something to grab as Hanzo drew open his jeans and wiggled his fingers in, wrapping his hand loosely around the base of Jesse’s cock. 

Growling, Jesse lifted his hips and shoved his pants down his thighs, swallowing hard when he saw Hanzo’s smug smirk. “Ain’t as pretty as yours,” he blurted when Hanzo only loosely wrapped his hand around the base, using his thumb to push the skin around

Hanzo smiled up at him. “Oh?” he asked. “Is that so?” 

Swallowing, Jesse nodded. “That piercing will be the death of me.” Anything else he was about to say was swallowed by a moan as Hanzo slowly sank down, his lips spreading wide around the girth of his cock. “ _ Fuck _ ,” he gasped, letting his head tip back. 

He could feel Hanzo’s throat fluttering around him, his tongue working against the slick heat of his mouth, the stretch of his lips as he adjusted to the split of his jaw. Then Hanzo swallowed around him and sank deeper, letting the working of his throat help him. 

“ _ Fuck! _ ” Jesse grunted, lifting a hand to his mouth and biting down on the knuckle. He hissed when Hanzo’s harsh exhale tickled and whimpered when he very slowly began pulling off, increasing the sucking as he went along, revealing more spit-slick skin as he moved. 

Jesse groaned when Hanzo let him fall out of his mouth, his hand at the base keeping Jesse’s heavy cock upright. With a smirk, Hanzo tipped his head down further and pressed his lips in obscene kisses to the inside of his thighs, his hips, the base of his cock. 

“I have an idea,” Hanzo said, his voice rough in a way that made Jesse throb in his hand. Very slowly Hanzo drew his hand up, spit and precum slicking the way as Jesse struggled not to buck upward. Grinning, Hanzo used his thumb and forefinger to play with his foreskin, using it to massage the ridge of his glans. 

It took Jesse a moment to find his voice again and a few tries for his mouth to form the words. “Idea?” He licked his dry lips. “What...what’s…?”

Hanzo chuckled, pushing himself to his feet. “How about we take this to the shower?” He laughed when Jesse pushed himself to his feet, forgetting his jeans and nearly falling on his face. If Hanzo hadn’t caught him as he began pitching forward, he certainly would have hurt himself. 

Laughing, Hanzo steadied Jesse and then let go, walking on his toes - accentuating his calves, thighs,  _ that ass _ \- down the hall of Jesse’s house. Swallowing hard, Jesse yanked his shoes off, shucked his jeans and boxers tangled around his thighs, and chased after Hanzo. 

He found the other man already in the shower and scrambling to pull his shirt over his head, he nearly tripped over the edge of the tub trying to get in. As soon as Hanzo steadied him he was yanked into a filthy kiss while with soap-slick hands, Hanzo grabbed Jesse’s ass. 

They kissed, chased each other’s tongues, while Hanzo’s hands slipped between the cheeks of Jesse’s ass to press against his hole. His hands trailed slick soap and Jesse groaned, tipping his head back into the spray of water as he struggled to spread his legs further, to give Hanzo more room to work. 

“I thought about it,” Hanzo whispered, his voice barely audible over the pounding in Jesse’s ears and the rush of the water around them. “How beautifully you had fallen apart on my tongue. I thought about how much I wanted to do it again. I wanted to see how you’d shake and fall apart for me with my fingers in you.” 

Jesse made an embarrassing sound as Hanzo’s fingers teased, making as if to press in. “Hanzo,” he groaned, begged, but wasn’t sure exactly what he wanted. 

“Later,” Hanzo promised. “First I need to get you clean.” Jesse shivered, blushing despite himself. He was far from a blushing virgin but somehow Hanzo made him feel like he was. “Just so I can get you dirty again.” He whimpered when Hanzo’s fingers pulled away and then again when they returned, slick with more soap. 

After a while he lost track of time, lost track of how many times Hanzo’s hands dipped between his cheeks and then receded like the tide. The water was pleasantly warm, the drone of it against the tile a soothing counterpoint to the noises that Hanzo teased out of him. 

If he had any pride left, he would be embarrassed by the way it echoed. 

His legs were shaky by the time Hanzo pulled away completely and he was light-headed as if he had drunk a whole six-pack by himself. Hanzo’s eyes were dark as he looked Jesse over. 

Hanzo licked his lips. “Dry off,” he said as he turned off the shower. “And meet me in your room.” 

Trying not to slip and fall, Jesse scrambled out and snatched up a towel. He turned back to Hanzo and froze, all thought coming to a halt. Hanzo’s wet hair curled over one shoulder and drops of water slipped down his chest. Jesse had never understood how drops of water could be  _ crystalline _ or how they could  _ glitter like diamonds _ or whatever other pathetic drivel romance authors came up with until that moment in time.

He swallowed the words that threatened to escape and instead smiled at Hanzo when he looked at him. “Bed, Jesse McCree,” Hanzo said with a laugh in his voice. 

Jesse again swallowed the words he really wanted to say and laughed. “Yessir,” he said cheekily. Drying off as he walked, Jesse wrapped the towel around his waist and flopped backwards on the bed. His wet hair would make the sheets damp but he was hoping that their...activities would do more than just that. Groaning, he reached down and palmed the bulge of his cock beneath the towel, feeling the rough slide of the cloth. 

He wasn’t alone on the bed for very long but when Hanzo emerged, he was completely dry from toe to crown. 

“You’ll need to show me that trick sometime,” Jesse murmured as Hanzo brushed his hand away and unwound his towel as if opening a present. 

Hanzo smiled. “A magician never reveals his secrets.” He climbed to straddle Jesse’s lap, humming when Jesse lifted his hands to his hips. “Now,” he said, leaning down to draw Jesse into a kiss. “Where were we?” 

Smiling into the kiss, Jesse let one of his hands slide along Hanzo’s inner thigh suggestively. His grin widened at Hanzo’s hitched breath. “Can I?” he asked softly despite his smirk. His questing fingers found Hanzo’s cock and he grinned when the other man gave a full-body twitch. “Can I fuck you here, sweetness?” 

For once Hanzo looked unsure, his smirk fading slightly. Immediately Jesse pulled his hand back, grabbing one of Hanzo’s and pulling it to his mouth.

He kissed Hanzo’s knuckles softly. “We don’t have to,” he pointed out. “‘Sides...I believe you promised me something anyway?” Jesse gestured with his free hand. “Lube’s in the drawer, there.” 

Seeming to regain himself, Hanzo grinned and yanked him into a filthy kiss. “How about just my tongue this time?” 

Jesse swallowed, unable to help the way his entire body shivered at that. “This time?” he echoed. He whined when he felt one of Hanzo’s hands close around his leaking cock. “There’s more?” 

“I plan to see how many I can wring from you,” Hanzo promised. “First from my tongue; then from my fingers.”

“ _ Shit _ ,” Jesse breathed, allowing himself to be rolled over, tugged to the edge of the bed so that he stood with his head pillowed on his arms on the bed. It spread his legs, spread the cleft of his ass and he could almost  _ feel _ Hanzo’s hungry stare. “Ain’t as young as I used to be. Not sure I got that many rounds in me.”

When Jesse glanced over his shoulder, he gulped at Hanzo’s wicked grin. “I take that as a challenge,” he said and pressed a deceptively sweet kiss to the dip of Jesse’s spine. His fingers were slick when he brushed against Jesse’s hole. “Let’s begin, shall we?”

Much later, after Hanzo had wrung a surprising two orgasms out of him and Hanzo had so lovingly cleaned him off,  Jesse grabbed weakly at Hanzo’s arms. “Stay,” he mumbled, his eyes heavy.

Smiling, Hanzo leaned in close and pressed a kiss to Jesse’s cheek. “Only until dawn,” he said wistfully.

“I’ll treasure every moment,” Jesse promised. He sighed, content, when Hanzo curled in close.

* * *

The next morning Jesse woke up with a weight on his chest. Peeking down, he managed to catch sight of cream-colored feathers and grinned, letting his head flop back.

Gently, he wiggled his arm free and lifted it up to run his fingers over Hanzo’s wings. “Hey, sweetness,” he murmured softly, craning his head to get a better look at the sleeping swan on his chest. His long neck was twisted at what seemed like an unnatural angle back and under one of his large wings.

Hanzo’s wings fluttered and he muttered then settled once more.

Unable to help himself, Jesse chuckled. The bouncing motion of his chest startled Hanzo into wakefulness and he flared his big wings.

Despite his lack of an expressive face as a swan, the look Hanzo gave Jesse was clearly a scowl and Jesse didn’t hold back his laughter now, forcing Hanzo to spread his wings to keep his balance. “I’m sorry, sweetness,” he said, reaching a hand up and running it over Hanzo’s neck. He received a very gentle nip in response and Jesse chuckled again. His hand halfway to the swan’s neck again, Jesse paused and cocked his head to the side.

He could feel a spot on his legs, warm and wet, that was slowly spreading. Seeing his expression, Hanzo hissed and hopped off, flailing his wings as he scrambled off the bed and to the floor.

“Hanzo, sweetness, did you just  _ shit _ on me?” Jesse asked and succumbed to laughter again. He could hear Hanzo make low muttering noises in the back of his throat and carefully sat up, trying to keep the wet stain in his lap as much as possible. Upright, he saw Hanzo’s tailfeathers disappear into the bathroom. “Did I scare you bad enough that you  _ shat _ on me?”

He heard a crash and laughed again until tears rose in his eyes. Hanzo nudged his side and wiping the tears from his eye on that side he found that Hanzo clutched the edge of a paper towel in his beak. A trail of them disappeared into the bathroom and Jesse continued to laugh until he couldn’t breathe.

“No, sweet,” he cried between laughs as the swan stalked off. “Wait!”

Cleaning himself off as well as he could, he chased after Hanzo and found him in the living room, curled up on the couch. He looked proud of the little nest he made of his blankets and laughing, Jesse moved to run a finger gently down the front of Hanzo’s neck.

“I really  _ am _ sorry for startling you,” he said between chuckles. Hanzo hissed and pecked him. “I’ll make it up to you tonight, sweetness,” he promised.

Hanzo made a show of considering that before nodding.

“It’s a date,” Jesse murmured with a grin.

* * *

That day he baffled the other volunteers at the rescue by having a shadow in the form of a large swan. He had been nervous about letting Hanzo out with him but he could tell by the flat, beady-eyed stare that Hanzo would just find a way out and short of locking him in his enclosure, he would lose.

He tried to explain his concern to Hanzo – there were a lot of animals that could do him harm – but Hanzo seemed to ignore him, peering out the window as they drove down the road and hopping out when they came to a stop. Jesse tried not to laugh when he nearly fell but he didn’t think he succeeded.

To keep up the pretense of Hanzo in training, Jesse offered him a small handful of seeds and Hanzo nipped him – deliberately, Jesse was sure – as he ate them. “I knew you had a gift with animals,” Ana said dryly from safely behind the counter. “But this is ridiculous.”

Hanzo whipped his head around and hissed at her.

“He decided he likes me I guess,” Jesse said quickly.  _ Too _ quickly if the look in Ana’s good eye was any indication. “But he managed to get out of his enclosure and I couldn’t get him back in.” He shut up when Hanzo pecked his knee.

Ana still looked distrustful – he couldn’t say he blamed her – but offered no further commentary on it. Despite his concern, Hanzo seemed to be on his best behavior. He wandered around with Jesse who kind of enjoyed the more leisurely pace he was forced into. (Comment on Hanzo’s short legs earned him a slap to the butt with one of his big wings and Jesse had laughed until Hanzo had to peck him into submission). When Jesse was busy, Hanzo grazed nearby and Jesse was relieved that in  _ this _ instance at least, Hanzo appeared to be a normal bird.

They were just returning to the main lodge when they saw a police cruiser pull up. Hanzo wobbled over to Jesse’s other side, craning his long neck around Jesse’s legs as the officer climbed out of the car and approached them. “Afternoon, officer,” Jesse called cheerfully.

“Afternoon,” the officer replied with a cheeky smile.

“What brings a stranger like you to a place like this?” Jesse teased, feeling Hanzo’s eyes boring into the side of his skull.

The officer snorted and removed her cap. “Is this the vicious monster mother was talking about?” she asked, bending to peer at the swan.

“Don’t underestimate him,” Jesse advised. He reached down and patted Hanzo’s head. “He’s vicious.” Taking two steps he yanked the officer into a hug. “How’s Officer Pharah today?”

Rolling her eyes, Officer Fareeha Amari pushed herself away. “Gross! You’re all sweaty!”

“And  _ you _ get to drive around in an air-conditioned car,” Jesse teased. “Come on inside, we can talk where it’s cooler.”

The officer followed, giving Hanzo a wide berth and raising her eyebrows when Jesse held the door open for him as well. “Does he follow you like a dog?”

Hanzo hissed at her, mantling his wings. “This is his first day out,” Jesse told her. “He’s on probation.” He yelped when Hanzo nipped his knee.

The staff, excited to see Officer Amari, all crowded her and Jesse drew Hanzo away to one of the break rooms, knowing that Fareeha would eventually follow.

“She’s Ana’s daughter,” he whispered to Hanzo, who had tugged on his shorts like a child wanting attention. “Her father’s military but he and Ana are separated.” Hanzo made a low grumble and waddled away.

Hanzo returned quickly to his side when the door to the break room opened and Fareeha, Ana, and Lúcio walked in. Seeing Hanzo, Lúcio walked over but backed away quickly when Hanzo hissed at him and wiggled behind Jesse as if to hide from them.

“I can take a hint,” Lúcio said cheerfully and sat down at one of the tables.

“There’s a lot of people in here,” Jesse told him, pointedly eyeing Fareeha. “He might warm up to you if you’re patient.”

Fareeha cleared her throat. “I’m here officially unofficially,” she said. “Lately we’ve been having some reports about…strange things happening in the local parks.”

Jesse felt Hanzo stiffen behind him and he stroked the swan’s neck as he bent to open the refrigerator. “What kind of strange things?” he asked, hoping he didn’t sound suspicious. He pulled out a crudité and a tin of hummus which he set out. There was also a fruit salad which he plucked some melon pieces for Hanzo before putting it on the table as well.

“There’s been…” Fareeha hesitated. “Well, it’s more like there’s someone that’s been running around causing mischief,” she said slowly. “We managed to catch him once but since he wasn’t  _ technically _ doing anything wrong we had to release him with a warning.”

“Out with it,” Jesse said, rolling his eyes.

Fareeha glared at him. “I suspect it may be related to your little friend there,” she said, nodding at Hanzo. “He’d been wandering around yelling at the birds. Goes to each park and does his damnedest to catch one.”

For a brief moment Jesse fell out of touch with the conversation as he looked down at Hanzo and wondered. The swan was following the conversation, his head turning from person to person as they spoke. Evidently seeing him staring, Hanzo twisted his head to Jesse. 

He offered a handful of seeds in lieu of voicing his thoughts.

Late that afternoon Jesse took Hanzo back to his room for him to change back into a man and into another set of spare clothes. Hanzo opted to take a shower as well and explained through the door that he didn’t know where his clothes went when he changed back and forth, just that they disappeared from man to swan and didn’t seem to reappear when he changed from swan to man.

Hanzo tugged him into the shower a few minutes later, clothes and all, and proceeded to  _ apologize _ for losing his clothes in such a way that his knees were left weak. Hanzo was insufferably smug while he made dinner, his long hair leaving drops of water on the wet tile behind him. Then with dinner done, he sat astride Jesse’s lap – bare save for a thin pair of boxers – and fed him his dinner bite by bite.

This time it led to Jesse lying on his back, his legs spread as Hanzo very slowly -  _ too _ slowly if you asked Jesse - drew his favorite toy in and out. Hanzo’s own legs were straddling Jesse’s shoulders, bringing his cock just barely within reach of Jesse’s mouth so that he had to arch and crane his neck to get closer. This close his smell was intoxicating and it took everything in Jesse to not just yank Hanzo down, to bury himself between his legs and feast as if he were starving. 

He gasped raggedly when Hanzo flicked the base of the glass toy, sending vibration ringing through the beaded length. “Did you get distracted?” Hanzo wanted to know. 

“Sorry,” he whispered against Hanzo’s slick thighs. “Won’t happen again.” 

“Mm?” Hanzo hummed and Jesse jolted when he wiggled the toy in him. It was his favorite for a reason and the bulbous ridges rubbed against his prostate, making his toes curl as he arched up into Hanzo. He could feel Hanzo’s breath on his cock, so teasingly close.

This time he gave in, yanking Hanzo’s hips down, his lips finding Hanzo’s piercing and toying with it just to hear him gasp above him. He doggedly toyed with it, licked up into Hanzo as far as he could reach, lipped and sucked at his cock until Hanzo was trembling above him, shaking and crying as he came in Jesse’s mouth. 

Jesse yelled around Hanzo’s cock when in retaliation he leaned down and slipping his fingers into the loop at the base of the toy, began to rigorously fuck him with it. Each bulge rubbed over his prostate or teased it with its proximity as Hanzo swallowed as much as Jesse’s cock as he could. 

To keep himself from saying those... _ those _ words, Jesse buried himself deeper into Hanzo, yanked him down until he was almost suffocating. Then all of his sounds were muffled and if he screamed...if he screamed  _ that _ as he came, endorphins running through him like a fucking freight train, his words were muffled by Hanzo’s body. 

* * *

Later, lying sweaty and sated and sticky in bed, Jesse murmured, “I had wanted to take you out.”

“Hmm?” Hanzo murmured into his chest.

Jesse wiggled his fingers through Hanzo’s long hair. “I had wanted to take you out,” he repeated. “Take you out to a nice dinner. Maybe see a movie. So that you’re not just stuck here.”

Looking down, he found Hanzo smiling up at him in that odd way he did. “You’re so sweet,” he breathed and lowered his head back to Jesse’s chest.

“We still can,” Jesse murmured, staring up at the dark ceiling. It was easier, somehow, to watch the play of shadows above than to see whatever might lay in Hanzo’s eyes. He didn’t think he could bear it if there was pity there. “Just…might need another shower.”

Hanzo hummed and curled his arm around Jesse’s waist. “Not tonight,” he sighed and tangled their legs together. “You need to sleep; it’s late.”

“Tomorrow?” Jesse asked hopefully.

He blushed, glad that Hanzo couldn’t see it, when he felt lips press against his bare chest. “It’s a date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, Hanzo understands that sex isn't necessary for a relationship. But as Jesse briefly mentions, humans are creatures of habit. He is most comfortable with Jesse this way and that alters their relationship. 
> 
> Thanks to all of those people out there that put up with my whining as I write. You know who you are. 
> 
> Thanks also to [SchweenWinchester](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SchweenWinchester/profile) and [Lyall_Lupa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyall_Lupa) for suggesting some of the toys that Jesse has/orders. 
> 
> To all of those that leave comments and kudos, thank you as well! I love reading all of your comments and thoughts! Thank you for those that correct me on things that kill swans...among other things. 
> 
> Feel free to come and visit or yell at me on tumblr at [Classywastelandbread](https://classywastelandbread.tumblr.com)!
> 
> ~DC


	6. Magic and Curses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes even with proof it's hard to believe something that's so out of the norm. 
> 
> Half the time Jesse's in denial - though he perhaps wouldn't call it that - while the other half of him considers what might happen if he were to believe Hanzo's claims. 
> 
> Magic and curses indeed! And yet.......

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not as much explicit sex in this one (really there isn't any) but there is mention and discussion of pegging, oral sex, and the use of sex toys.
> 
> Warning for Genji being a spoiled little shit.

They developed a kind of routine after that. 

Hanzo - or “Han the Swan” as the rest of the staff began calling him after his slip-up with Ana on the phone - would for the most part follow him around during the day. He would obviously keep away from the larger predators and find a nice spot to graze but was otherwise in and out of the clinic and rescue with Jesse. 

At first the staff was terrified that he would hurt the children or people that visited (or them) as he had been known to be fairly aggressive when they rescued him, but he seemed to ignore them for the most part. If they approached, Hanzo would lift his wings in a mantle and hiss; if they continued to move forward he would snap and then retreat toward Jesse. 

Liv got a very good picture of the time that Hanzo had accidentally stumbled into a group of children that had been there for a summer camp. When Jesse’s pleas for them to leave him alone fell on deaf ears, Jesse had simply picked Hanzo up and held him over his head until the chaperones could corral their charges. 

(In the end it had been Ana since the chaperones were not too inclined to do their job...but that was another story altogether.)

Jesse was glad that no one else seemed to question it as he wasn’t sure what he would say in response. When he brought it up to Hanzo in his human form, he only smiled enigmatically which did nothing to soothe his worry. 

Hanzo had taken his mind off of it by pushing him into the old recliner chair in Jesse’s living room and sucking his mind out through his dick. 

At the end of the day after the sun had set Hanzo would again turn into a man. No matter how romantic the thought, Jesse’s small shower wasn’t made for two though they sometimes made use of the outdoor shower. On those nights they couldn’t go out because washing each other slowly turned into  _ touching _ each other and with alarming regularity, ended with Hanzo riding Jesse’s face. 

Jesse would say “alarming” because the more they did...whatever this was together, the more he wanted to say those words. 

Three words. 

Three syllables. 

Seven letters. 

He told himself to be grateful with what he had - and he was...sort of. But he was also afflicted with the human curse of greed and he wanted  _ more _ . 

For a while he managed to hold himself back from bombarding Hanzo with questions. It lasted almost a full week and in some ways he was proud of himself but he could tell that Hanzo was also waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

Most nights Jesse took Hanzo out to dinner, to the movies, to explore the nightlife of the area around them. They went to quiet diners or busy restaurants, got ice cream and explored a hundred different shops. Jesse learned that Hanzo - as swan and human apparently - had a debilitating sweet tooth so they often visited the bakery down the street. Sometimes he would go during the day so that when Hanzo transformed when the sun went down, he could have a sweet treat. 

(Those nights Hanzo thanked Jesse in such a way that left them incapable of leaving. Not that either of them would complain.)

Sometimes - though very rarely - Jesse wished that Hanzo changed sooner. After sunset was an awkward time and very inconvenient; as soon as he thought that, he immediately hated himself. If  _ he _ thought this was inconvenient, what did  _ Hanzo _ think? He could tell that Hanzo was frustrated by it too, which made him feel even worse. 

But Jesse tried his best to take his mind off of it. They went to the movies, to dinners - as fancy or as casual as Hanzo wanted - and on walks or bike rides around the parks and nearby paths. With the sun down they couldn’t follow the hiking trails so they had to settle for the streets or sidewalks. 

Some nights they didn’t do anything and just stayed in. Those nights Hanzo slowly took Jesse apart bit by bit with fingers and lips and Jesse’s very limited collection of toys. Hanzo pushed Jesse’s boundaries and stamina in ways that he had never known possible and lo-....and he wouldn’t waste a moment thinking about why’s and what’s and how’s. 

And...well, it turned out that Hanzo had  _ magic _ .  _ Real _ magic, not like the cheap parlor tricks or sleight-of-hand things you saw most magicians use. He never let Jesse  _ really _ see it, but he knew it was there, could feel the tingle like static electricity when Hanzo used it, after insisting on blindfolding Jesse despite his promises not to look. 

“I have other things planned for this,” Hanzo would murmur against his lips, his eyes dark with a wicked promise that sent Jesse’s blood straight down south. 

It had taken a little over a week for Jesse to finally ask the questions that had been at the tip of his tongue. His limbs still felt heavy, his jaw still aching from so thoroughly eating Hanzo out. 

(He couldn’t get over the taste, the way he felt on his tongue, feeling him come apart on his lips, the way Hanzo gripped his hair or arched or cried out. He loved being tugged further, Hanzo grinding his cock into Jesse’s mouth or tugged apart for Hanzo to catch a breath between rounds. The ache in his scalp, in the scratches that Hanzo drew in the skin of his back, in his jaw were all worth it.)

He still tingled pleasantly, still drunk on the afterglow and the faint ache between his legs. Hanzo had taken a dildo - his  _ only _ dildo, really - and turned it on him, gently fucking him within an inch of his life. He had done some kind of magic that he didn’t let Jesse see that allowed him to use it as a crude strapon (or perhaps it was just ingenuity). It turned out that like basically everything else he had seen Hanzo do in his human form, he was  _ exceptionally good _ at making Jesse fall apart. 

“Maybe next time I will use a proper harness,” Hanzo murmured into his chest, running his fingers through Jesse’s chest hair. “And given how much you begged, perhaps even a larger toy, hmm?” 

Jesse hummed, satiated exhaustion thrumming through his veins. “You’re gonna be the death of me,” he said breathlessly. He whined when he felt Hanzo’s hands retract and the bed shift as he moved to stand up. “Don’t go,” he begged, flopping his head to the side and reaching desperately for Hanzo’s wrist. 

His breath left him when Hanzo smiled softly and lifted his wrist - with Jesse’s hand attached - to kiss Jesse’s knuckles. “Don’t worry,” he breathed. “I’m only going to turn on the fan - it’s hot.” 

“I know you are,” Jesse barely managed to say, watching hungrily as Hanzo walked across the room. Was it just him or was there an extra sway to his hips?

Hanzo smiled at him over his shoulder when he turned on the fan. Both of them sighed, almost in unison, as the sticky summer air began to circulate. A few moments later the window unit began humming and cooler air drifted through the room. Hanzo returned to bed, slotting himself into Jesse’s side like it was molded for him. 

Swallowing, Jesse hoped that his thoughts didn’t show on his face. Something must have because Hanzo frowned up at him, resting his head on Jesse’s bicep. He brushed his knuckles along the bristles of beard along Jesse’s jaw. “What’s wrong?” There was an insecure edge to his voice that immediately made Jesse’s heart sink into his stomach. 

“Hey,” Jesse murmured, shifting so that his weight was on his shoulder and he was leaning down to look at Hanzo. Lifting his free hand, he brushed his knuckles against Hanzo’s sharp cheekbones. “Ain’t nothing bad, promise.” 

He couldn’t help the way that his stomach did somersaults when Hanzo’s furrowed brow broke and he smiled softly, hooking a finger under Jesse’s chin to draw him into a very sweet kiss. “Did I not tire you out sufficiently?” 

Jesse groaned as Hanzo pushed him on his back and threw a leg over his waist. He wanted - Lord in Heaven he  _ wanted _ \- but he was tapped out. He let both of his hands slide up Hanzo’s thighs to rest on his hips, running his thumbs over the curve of bone there. “You  _ know _ you did,” he said, unable to help the goofy grin on his face. 

Grinding himself against Jesse’s belly with a teasing smirk, Hanzo leaned down, his elbows coming to bracket Jesse’s head. “Then what has you thinking so hard?” He gave an exaggerated sniff. “I smell something burning.” 

Laughing, Jesse rolled them over on their sides, tangling their legs together. His lips wanted to say The Words or to maybe make a joke ( _ just a hunk-a hunk-a burnin’ love, darlin’ _ ) but he didn’t. Instead his fool mouth, when denied its first choices of words, said instead, “I was just thinking about the whole swan thing.” 

As always that seemed to be the exact wrong thing to say. Hanzo tensed up beside him but a moment later sighed, deliberately relaxing against Jesse’s side. “I...am cursed.” 

“Naw,” Jesse said with a laugh. “If anything I am with my damn fool mouth.” 

Leaning back, Hanzo gave him a wicked grin. “There are a lot of things your ‘damn fool mouth’ is good for,” he purred, tracing Jesse’s lips with a thumb. “But no, that’s the answer to your question: I’m cursed.” 

“Cursed?” Jesse echoed. To be fair, Hanzo did  _ literally _ transform into a bird during the day and had some kind of strange magical powers. Perhaps the idea of curses was not  _ too _ far-fetched. “Huh.” 

Hanzo offered a strange sort of grin. “‘Huh’?” He echoed. “That’s all you have to say?” 

Stretching his legs, Jesse hummed. His eyes fluttered, exhaustion returning like a heavy blanket. “Curses like the old fairy tales?” he asked. “A witch casting a spell and true love’s kiss? That kind of curse?” 

There was an odd look in Hanzo’s eyes when he looked down at Jesse. It was fond and exasperated and there was something that Jesse couldn’t put a name to, something that looked a lot like hope. 

The moment was gone and Hanzo chuckled, sliding off of Jesse’s hips to lay at his side. “Go to sleep, Jesse,” he breathed and lowered his head back to Jesse’s chest. “I’ll stay with you until dawn.” 

“Ev’ry second,” Jesse slurred as sleep grabbed him with both hands. 

* * *

The next morning, Jesse woke up before Hanzo did as usual. He watched the swan sleep, tucked into the bay of his arms and immediately felt guilty but in his sleepy haze couldn’t at first remember why. As he basked in the dawn sunlight, watching the gentle flutter of Hanzo’s white and cream wings, memories from the night before slowly trickled through.

Sex. He remembered the sex; how could he not?

He remembered the hazy afterwards. How well Hanzo had fit into the curve of his arm, how well he had molded against Jesse’s body as if made to fit there. How the cold air from the window unit slid over their sweaty bodies.

They talked. Jesse frowned. He remembered Hanzo’s kisses, his easy affection. Soft words, more kisses, and then Jesse had fallen asleep.

Licking his lips with a tongue dry and tacky from sleep (he had probably been snoring) Jesse thought hard, unable to shake the feeling that he was missing Something Important.

Hanzo shifted, his feathers ruffling and the long curve of his neck where it twisted to tuck his head beneath a wing wobbled. With a soft smile, Jesse shushed him, using the hand not curled around the swan to gently stroke his neck. Somewhere beneath wing and feather Hanzo snorted and grumbled but fell still, leaning ever so slightly into Jesse’s side.

He needed to get to the clinic but a few more minutes in bed wouldn’t hurt.

* * *

He was doing some basic data entry work in the office – because  _ someone _ had to do it, he supposed – when it hit him. 

Hanzo and Liv’s cat were harassing each other but Jesse wasn’t too worried – Tubby had claw caps on and Hanzo was conscious of the strength in his wings – and he watched them chase each other around the office. He watched without really seeing them as Hanzo tugged on one of Tubby’s nocked ears and then ran, his wings half-open; Tubby, being rather overweight (why he was in the clinic, actually), waddled after Hanzo, grunting and snorting like a freight engine.

Lúcio opened the door and watched the two of them scurry around the office. “It’s good that Han the Swan is giving him some exercise,” he said mildly. “Maybe then he’ll finally lose some weight!” he looked at Jesse and frowned. “What’s wrong, Eastwood? Something on your mind?”

“Yes,” Jesse said and his tone must have been odd enough because Hanzo’s head twisted to look at him and he stopped. Tubby waddled into him and headbutted him; he was fat enough that with his waddling momentum he sent Hanzo, a bird larger than him, off-balance. Hissing, Hanzo mantled and flapped his wings at Tubby who yowled and fell over on his side.

“Oh good, he’s flapping,” Lúcio said as he jumped back and out of the way. One of Hanzo’s flailing wings hit a stack of binders and sent them falling, which startled Tubby into waddling much quicker out the door, his paws sliding on the smooth tile.

In the other room, they could hear Tubby’s squeaky meow and Liv say, “ _ Ay, probrecito! _ ”

Hanzo startled as well and scrambled over to Jesse who laughed and stroked his head and neck until he calmed down. “It’s okay,” he said. “Probably wasn’t important anyway.”

“Nah,” Lúcio said from where he was picking everything up. “Looks like it’s just some of Ana’s notes.” He held up a handful of loose papers in Ana’s elegant Arabic script. “I’ll ask her where these go but otherwise no harm.” He hefted the pile of binders in his hands and walked back out.

“You okay, sweetness?” Jesse asked Hanzo when the vet had left. He smiled when Hanzo wiggled his head into Jesse’s stomach. “Alright,” he said with a laugh, leaning down and scooping the swan into his arms. He held carefully still while Hanzo adjusted himself and settled into his lap with his long neck draped over Jesse’s shoulder. “You gonna stay there?” Hanzo nipped his earlobe and laughing, Jesse adjusted the height of his seat so that he could keep working.

A half hour later, Jesse realized that Hanzo had fallen asleep and he smiled, gently running his fingers through the thick feathers along his back. He was ready for a break but was loathe to move Hanzo, liking the warmth of the swan in his lap.

Looking across the small office he had sequestered himself in, Jesse’s mind wandered back to his earlier realizations and the way they lay heavy in his stomach. They had been talking about curses.

They had been talking about curses – about the one in particular that afflicted Hanzo – and like an ass Jesse had fallen asleep. He sighed and then froze when Hanzo shifted in his sleep. When he didn’t move again, Jesse breathed a sigh of relief and resumed his gentle petting of Hanzo’s feathers.

Curses.

Magic.

The real kind, not the cheap sleight-of-hand tricks he’d seen street performers do. It was amazing to him in some ways that he could be so blasé about it.  _ Oh, it was just magic, that’s fine _ . Jesse stifled a snort and Hanzo grunted like a little snore. He smiled but it faded quickly as he began thinking again.

Well it stood to reason that he was so blasé about it, in hindsight. It wasn’t something he had really dwelled on outside of that lunch conversation with Liv. Somehow he had managed to blend dream with reality – the idea that Hanzo was both swan and man was so far fetched that it felt like the hazy dreams he had first thought he had and it simply didn’t occur to him to think further than that.

The whole idea of it made his head spin. He had gone from being terrified of the reality of the situation – that the swan might be Something Else, that the man from his dreams was some kind of crazy trespassing nudist sex fiend – to so accepting that he felt the delayed whiplash from it.

Now that he had gotten used to the idea, he kicked himself for not thinking more about it…and for falling asleep after asking such a loaded question.

But to be fair, Hanzo had quite spectacularly blown his mind last night, enough that even the mere thought about it made his pants seem a touch too tight. Absently he clicked open an incognito tab on the computer and scrolled through the toys on his favorite site. He hadn’t had any real  _ need _ for them…not until recently anyway. Twisting his head, he found Hanzo still fast asleep.

He added a few items into his cart and very carefully wiggled his wallet out of his pants, all somehow without disturbing Hanzo’s nap. Eventually even the idea of surprising Hanzo in a few days when the order came in faded and Jesse was left wondering about magic and curses.

Opening the incognito tab again, Jesse Googled “real life curses”. Finding nothing useful, he typed in “cursed swan” and found entries for the ballet  _ Swan Lake _ and the animated movies for  _ The Swan Princess _ . He read through the Wikipedia entries for both on a whim and felt his gut churn when he found the parallels.

The Odette in both versions turned from swan to beautiful woman in the light of the moon (albeit in a particular lake). It was only coincidence that Hanzo lived with Jesse near a lake but Jesse had literally watched the swan transform even in the kitchen or once, memorably, while sitting in Jesse’s lap. So that particular detail, at least, was not the case.

Both Odettes transformed back into a swan during the day, as did Hanzo.

He scrolled down and frowned. In the synopsis for  _ Swan Lake _ , the prince and the swan princess both died. “Of course,” he muttered to himself. He scrolled up earlier in the synopsis when they talked about the spell itself.

_ If Rothbart dies before the spell is broken, it can never be undone. _

Not that either of them were based on true events. More so,  _ The Swan Princess _ was an animated movie for children based on the  _ Swan Lake _ ballet.  _ The Swan Princess _ at least had a happy ending, but those were only for modern adaptations of fairy tales.

Real life didn’t always have happy endings.

The thought sobered him and he closed the window. Leaning back in his chair, again careful to not jostle Hanzo, Jesse sighed. He rolled his head in time to see Liv in the doorway, her camera held up to her face. Lúcio peeked over her shoulder with a grin.

He flipped them off.

The motion jostled Hanzo awake and he twisted his head to see what Jesse was looking at. Scrambling to his feet he hissed and charged, hopping across the desk and gliding like some kind of pastel dark lord at the pair in the doorway. Screaming, they scrambled out of the way.

Muttering to himself, Hanzo walked back to Jesse and pecked his knee. “Not my fault,” Jesse said, laughing hard enough that he was tearing up. “Did you enjoy your nap?”

Hissing, Hanzo pecked his knee again and then his thigh and then his hip. He pecked Jesse’s hand when he reached down to pet him which though it made him yelp, also made Jesse laugh even harder.

“I think that’s enough of that,” Ana said from the doorway. Her arms were crossed over her chest but she was smiling. “I think the office has made you – both of you, maybe – a little crazy. Come on, let’s go to lunch.”

“Can we get delivery instead?” Jesse asked, looking down at Hanzo who was muttering to himself again.

Ana’s silver brows rose. “If you want to,” she said. “Or we could see if one of the harnesses fits him.” She smirked. “Let’s see if you can work your magic on him.”

It turned out that he could after much wheedling, begging, and whispered promises. “I’ll take you out tonight,” Jesse whispered to Hanzo when he looked dubiously at the dog harness presented to him. “Wherever you want. There’s an art festival in the city and we can go to that if you would like.” Hanzo squinted his beady swan eyes up at him.

The video of Jesse walking the swan on a leash ended up being posted to the rehabilitation center’s various social media pages. Just for fun they had added one of the elastic bowties to the harness along with a cat bell that jingled with every step.

Eventually Jesse had to carry Hanzo under one arm as the sidewalk became uncomfortably hot for his feet and a lot of people managed to catch pictures of them like that. Even the owner of the café who admitted that he was dubious at first about letting them bring their pet  _ swan _ of all things, even if they were going to sit outside, asked for a picture with him. Jesse begged off, saying that though Han the Swan was good with him and Ana, he couldn’t guarantee how well-behaved he would be with the owner.

But he did get a cute picture of the café owner cautiously offering a piece of melon – hand extended, palm and fingers flat with the treat in his palm like he was feeding a horse – which was posted to the café’s social media sites with the rehabilitation center tagged.

“That was a fun lunch,” Ana said as they drove back. “We should do it more often.”

In the backseat, Hanzo muttered as if he agreed and then rattled his cage when Ana went too quickly over a bump. “Yeah,” Jesse said absently. Despite the good meal and outing with Hanzo and Ana, he was still somehow distracted by the thoughts of real life magic and curses.

* * *

“Do you like burgers?” Jesse asked at the end of the day as they walked back to his house. Hanzo snorted. “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’ because you didn’t peck me.” He braced himself and sighed when he wasn’t slapped or bitten for his cheek. “There’s a nice burger place. Open 24-hours. Well, it’s a bar but they got some pretty good burgers – and they make some mean cocktails.”

Hanzo muttered something into his beak and absently Jesse reached out to stroke his head. He laughed when Hanzo nudged his beak into Jesse’s hand as if to say,  _ stop that! _

“It’s quiet,” Jesse added. “Not a big place. They have karaoke nights on the weekends but during the weekdays it’s not busy at all.”

Looking down, he realized that Hanzo wasn’t walking beside him anymore. He found the swan staring at a few nearby trees, his feathers mantling. Flaring his wings wide, Hanzo hissed at something that Jesse couldn’t see.

The next thing Jesse knew something slammed into him, knocking him bodily off his feet. The dirt and rocks of the unpaved road scratched him and he yelled when he landed hard on his elbow. He could hear Hanzo hiss as his attacker shoved him over and pinned him to the ground.

Jesse blinked up at his attacker as they drew their fist back. He was about Jesse’s age, maybe a few years younger, with vibrant green hair shading from deep emerald to pale, spring green at the tips. He was covered in small scratches and dirt and leaves, as if he had been running around through the bushes.

Personally Jesse hoped that he had run through some poison ivy because it would serve him right but perhaps he was a little vindictive.

“ _ What have you done? _ ” he yelled in Jesse’s face.

To Jesse’s left gold and silver light flared; a moment later, hands gripped the man by the collar of his loose tank top and ripped him off of Jesse, flinging him aside. Hanzo spared Jesse the briefest of glances – his face was thunderous, twisted with fury but it softened ever so slightly to see Jesse alright – before leaping at Jesse’s attacker.

Hanzo got two punches in before he stopped and yelled in a language that Jesse didn’t recognize down at the man. For a while as they yelled at each other; Jesse wheezed where he lay, forcing air back into his squished lungs and breathing past the pain in his elbow.

At last the new man yelled, “ _ Why are you naked? _ ” and Jesse rolled over, hissing in pain.

“Jesse,” Hanzo breathed and suddenly he was at Jesse’s side, leaning over his prone body. “Lay still,” he ordered and Jesse obeyed even though he felt like such a wuss to be laid low by a tackle and a bad landing. Hanzo rested both hands on Jesse’s chest and blue light glittered from between his fingers.

“Ain’t nothing,” Jesse muttered, his eyes fixed on the strange blue light. It was one thing to know that Hanzo was magic – he transformed between man and swan, was cursed, after all – but it was another thing entirely to see it.

“Hush,” Hanzo ordered. With a hand that still glowed blue, he cupped Jesse’s aching elbow and hissed. “ _ That _ isn’t good. Hold still.”

Rolling his head, Jesse was surprised to find the man that attacked him was sitting nearby, his cheek and eye already swelling. Seeing Jesse looking at him, he turned and spat out a mouthful of blood. Jesse felt a tingle of pain – like his arm had fallen asleep – and he looked down in time to see Hanzo pull his hands back.

The pain in his arm faded with the tingling sensation and Jesse lifted it in awe. Hanzo patted him gently on the chest, his hands no longer glowing. “My turn?” the strange man asked.

“Heal yourself,” Hanzo snapped. He pushed himself to his feet and extended his hands to Jesse.

The green-haired man cried out as if in pain and covered his eyes. “ _ Why are you naked? _ ”

“Shut up,” Hanzo growled as he levered Jesse to his feet. “Why are you here?”

Jesse looked back and forth between them. “You know each other?” He shrugged off his jacket and offered it to Hanzo. “A bit sweaty, sorry, but it’s better than nothing. At least until we get back home.”

Wrinkling his nose, Hanzo took it and did his best to wrap it around his hips so that he was at least covered. “He’s my brother,” the new man said and spat out another glob of blood.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Hanzo interrupted, his face stormy as he scowled at the man. “ _ What are you doing here? _ ”

Jesse very gently touched Hanzo’s shoulder. “Let’s get back to my house,” he suggested softly. “Then we can talk without anyone stumbling upon us – the technicians are still at the clinic up there,” he added with a jerk of his head toward the direction they had been coming from.

Scowling, Hanzo turned and stalked away though he had to walk gingerly, his bare feet sensitive to the sharp rocks and gravel of the path. Jesse ignored the man and offered Hanzo his arm to at least take some of the weight off his poor feet.

“Your brother, huh?” Jesse asked neutrally.

Hanzo glanced at him. “Don’t read too much into it,” he said brusquely, his jaw tense. Behind him, they could hear gravel crunching as the green-haired man followed them. “He should not be here.”

“Neither should you,” his brother snapped back. Jesse heard him spit again but when he turned to look he found that the man’s swelling had gone down and his light brown eyes now glowed green. “I’m sorry if I’m concerned that my brother disappeared and I couldn’t find him.”

“Save it,” Jesse suggested, earning a baleful glare from the man. “Or do you want the vet techs to hear you?” the man glared but said nothing more and Jesse guided Hanzo off the path and to the grass, steering him on a slate path to spare his feet. He itched to just pick Hanzo up but he figured that the man’s pride wouldn’t allow either of them the luxury. Instead he squeezed the hand on his and Hanzo gave him a very small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

Jesse unlocked the door and drew Hanzo into his bedroom where he found a pair of jeans that would probably fit him (though they would be long on him and the cuffs would need to be rolled), a too-large t-shirt from one of the events the rescue ran the previous year, and a flannel that would fit him so long as it remained unbuttoned.

“Thank you,” Hanzo said softly. For a moment Jesse thought that he would lean in for a kiss but then the moment broke and Hanzo turned away to change.

Knowing a dismissal when he heard it, Jesse brushed his knuckles soothingly against Hanzo’s tense arm and left, closing the door behind him.

“What is my brother doing here?” the new man asked suspiciously as soon as he walked back out. He had turned on the lights in the living room and by their glow Jesse could see that the swelling had gone down and the bruises around his cheekbone and eye were pale yellow and green, as if they were several days old.

Ignoring him, Jesse ducked into the kitchen. There were always things to do there and he had the feeling that whatever discussion the brothers had, it wouldn’t involve him.

He would only be an awkward third wheel.

Mercifully the brother didn’t follow him and a moment later he heard the two of them talking – and now Jesse recognized that their conversation was in Japanese – and busied himself in the kitchen. He was in the middle of trimming a honeydew melon for Hanzo’s breakfast the next morning when it hit him.

Hanzo’s brother was here.

Hanzo had done magic on him to heal him.

_ Hanzo’s brother was here _ .

Jesse’s hand shook and he very carefully put the knife down and gripped the counter with white knuckles. He swallowed hard, feeling dizzy. Hanzo’s brother was here so there was no reason for him to stick around. Ultimately he would leave and Jesse would be alone.

He hadn’t realized…they had only been together (in the loosest meaning of the word) for…two weeks? Three? Maybe a few days longer? But somehow Hanzo and the swan had become the keystone of his life, the point around which he had orbited and now…

Well, now Jesse would just have to get used to not having someone to orbit around.

Now Jesse would have to go back to his lonely, wandering existence.

He could already feel the cravings for the burn of whiskey and nicotine and shook his head. Picking up the knife again, he forced himself to stop shaking and feeling sorry for himself. For now he still had Hanzo, even if it was just until the brothers finished talking.

For now he still had tomorrow and a swan to feed.

* * *

Jesse was cleaning the dishes when he felt arms wrap around his waist from behind. He relaxed into Hanzo’s embrace, feeling the knot of his heart tighten rather than loosen. Was this when he will say goodbye?

“I’m sorry,” Hanzo breathed into his spine.

Swallowing, Jesse looked down at his sudsy hands. “It’s okay,” he said as evenly as he could. His hands shook, making the bubbles vibrate with the motion.

Blue light glittered and Jesse looked down. Hanzo had moved one of his hands to the middle of his chest and it glowed as if on fire. “It’s not, though,” Hanzo said. “He  _ hurt _ you.”

“So have you,” Jesse’s fool mouth said. “But to be fair I had grabbed you pretty…well, I had been a bit rough with you. I’m sure you didn’t like me grabbing you by the neck.”

Hanzo laughed wetly into his back and Jesse rinsed his hands. He gently eased Hanzo’s hands off of him and turned in his now-loose embrace. Now Hanzo wouldn’t look at him, turning his head away but the kitchen lights made the wet tracks on his face shine.

“What’s wrong, sweetness?” Jesse asked before he could stop himself.

With a shaky sigh, Hanzo shook his head and tucked himself against Jesse’s chest and he let him, holding him close and trying not to think about how this may be the last time that he could hold Hanzo close. “That just makes me feel worse,” he whispered and Jesse gently rocked them both, swaying side to side in what he hoped was a soothing manner. It reminded him of the docks, of lying there with Hanzo next to him as it bobbed in the water. “All we do is hurt you.”

Jesse hummed.  _ We _ . Did that mean that he was leaving with his brother? Jesse wasn’t sure how to ask so he didn’t.

“I’ll be out of your hair soon,” Hanzo added and Jesse’s heart dropped into the pit of his stomach. “Then…Genji can figure out how to break the curse.”

Swallowing hard, Jesse blurted, “You don’t need to.” Hanzo stiffened against him. “I’m not…saying you should go or stay but…I won’t mind if you…if you want to stay here a bit longer. It’s your choice.”

“You are too generous,” Hanzo said, trembling in his arms. “When all I do is cause you trouble.”

Gently Jesse picked him up and placed him on the counter, sliding between Hanzo’s parted legs. “Yeah,” he said with a wet laugh and buried his face in Hanzo’s stomach. “But…I think I’ve grown fond of you. I’m willing to put up with a little bit of trouble to keep you around. If you want to stay that is.” He swallowed. “And not even just for…for sex. I like you. I like walking with you during the day or sleeping next to you at night. I meant what I said that day, sweetness: I want to make dinner with you and watch movies with you and take you out to nice places, too.”

They both jumped when someone cleared their throat in the doorway of the kitchen. “Are you two done?” Hanzo snarled something that sounded unflattering in Japanese that the other man just brushed off. “Well, brother? Will you introduce me to your new boy toy?”

Jesse felt Hanzo stiffen at that and he rubbed a hand soothingly against Hanzo’s lower back, waiting until he relaxed before pulling away. He offered a hand to the man. “Jesse McCree,” he said simply.

The man grinned. “Genji Shimada,” he said, clasping Jesse’s hand. “The better-looking Shimada brother.”

Behind him, he could feel Hanzo’s distaste. “I wouldn’t say that,” he replied as neutrally as possible. “But I may be perhaps a bit biased.” He turned and smiled at Hanzo who had an unreadable look on his face.

Genji rolled his eyes and pretended to gag. “You two are disgusting,” he said and Jesse didn’t miss the way that Hanzo flinched as he hopped off the counter. “I’m hungry, you got any food around here?”

“Han and I were gonna go to a bar down the street,” Jesse said. “But-”

“Sounds perfect,” Genji said, clapping his hands. “Come on, let’s go.”

Turning to Hanzo, Jesse tipped his head back to look into his eyes. “This okay with you, sweetness?” he asked softly. “I had wanted you all to myself…”

Hanzo wavered and Jesse could see the ambivalence in his eyes. Then he ducked his head and looked away. Jesse could see his reluctance and helped him to cover it up by grabbing a napkin and gently dabbing at the tear tracks running down his face.

“At your own time, sweetness,” Jesse murmured. “I can loan you a pair of shoes, too. Might be a little large on you but at least they won’t turn you away at the door.”

He heard his front door slam open. “ _ Are you ready yet? _ ” Genji yelled.

“Impatient, ain’t he?” Jesse muttered to Hanzo who nodded wordlessly. “Well he can go pound sand. If we leave, it’ll be on our terms not his; whenever you’re ready.”

Hanzo leaned down and pressed his forehead to Jesse’s. They sat like that for a while, breathing in each other’s presence. Eventually Hanzo wiggled out of his loose embrace and Jesse stepped back.

“You ready?” he asked quietly.

Hanzo took a shaky breath and swiped at his eyes with the heels of his hands. “No, but Genji will complain.”

“We don’t have to go until you’re ready,” Jesse pointed out and Hanzo let him tug him in for another hug. Hanzo clung to him for a while before taking a deep breath and stepping back.

When they left the kitchen they found Genji lying on Jesse’s couch, his feet crossed over one of the arms while he texted on his phone. The front door was left wide open. He perked up when Jesse walked toward it but fell back against the cushions with an exaggerated sigh when Jesse only closed it.

“Are you  _ done? _ ” he demanded. “I’m  _ hungry _ . Have you finished doing up your hair and fussing in the mirror?”

Jesse glared at him and Genji groaned. “You can go on your own,” Jesse told him. “We were going to have a  _ nice _ dinner until you showed up.”

He drew Hanzo into his room and pulled out the socks and shoes he was going to lend Hanzo. “I call shotgun!” Genji yelled when they emerged.

“Nope,” Jesse replied as he picked up his keys and wallet.

Genji whined the entire ride over. Jesse explained to Hanzo, neatly ignoring his brother, that he had wanted to bike over with Hanzo since it was a nice night for it but he only had two bikes.

When they got to the bar, Hanzo slid into a booth and Genji followed, leaving Jesse to sit across from them. Genji drank enough for the three of them but was generous with his portion of the bill. Jesse paid for the rest (Hanzo obviously not having money as his belongings disappeared each time he transformed) and drove them back.

It was only by the sense of hospitality instilled in him by his father and Ana that Jesse asked Genji if he had a place to stay; when he said no, Jesse reluctantly offered the couch, frowning when Genji put his booted feet on the cushions.

Hanzo disappeared into his room.

“My brother is like that,” Genji said flippantly. “You get used to it.”

Jesse frowned at him, irritation boiling in his veins. “Perhaps it is not him not wanting to socialize,” Jesse said. If it weren’t for the quiet frustration brought on by this loud, brash man he wouldn’t have said anything at all. “Perhaps you’re simply disturbing his peace.”

“He’s as prickly as a cactus,” Genji snorted without looking up from his phone.

Nearly to his room, Jesse glanced back at him. “Cacti just want to be left alone,” he pointed out. “Perhaps he’s prickly because he doesn’t want anyone to poke him back.” In the garish light of Genji’s phone Jesse could see his surprised look.

Shaking his head, he slipped into his room.

Hanzo was already on the bed, his borrowed clothes neatly folded. Jesse undressed quickly, slipping into the bathroom to brush his teeth before he climbed into bed with Hanzo. “Do you want me to leave?” he asked quietly.

Rolling so that he was facing Jesse, Hanzo watched him for a few long seconds before wiggling closer into his embrace and tangling their legs together. “No,” he whispered into Jesse’s chest. “Stay?”

Despite the annoyance he felt earlier, despite the frustration with Hanzo’s brother, Jesse smiled softly, looping his arms around Hanzo. “Always,” he murmured into his hair.

The next morning he woke to the feeling of Hanzo in his swan form preening his hair. It felt surprisingly nice and he relaxed into his fluffed feathers as Hanzo’s beak gently drew furrows in his long hair.

There were words at the tip of his tongue that he wanted to say. Even half-asleep and pleasantly lulled by Hanzo’s preening, he knew better than to say it so he clenched his teeth around them, kept his lips pressed shut.

He ignored how the words tasted like melon and honey kisses and focused instead on the happy little grunting noises that Hanzo made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone that has been ~~harassing~~ encouraging me with this and ~~promising~~ threatening to picket my apartment and to [SchweenWinchester](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SchweenWinchester/pseuds/SchweenWinchester) for finding the right motivation to get me to work faster to get this done. 
> 
> Thanks also to everyone for kudos and comments! It always makes me smile to see the notifications - you have no idea!
> 
> Feel free to join/yell at me on tumblr at [Classywastelandbread](https://classywastelandbread.tumblr.com). 
> 
> ~DC


	7. Domesticity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't get used to having two chapters at once. I wish I could but unfortunately my job as a Ruiner of Dreams sucks a lot out of me. 
> 
> Warnings for:  
> -Oral sex  
> -Fingering  
> -Some dirty talk  
> -Discussion of sex toys  
> -Halfhearted bondage  
> -Under-negotiating kinks/scenes

Genji’s presence changed everything and not necessarily for the better.

In the mornings he insisted on feeding Hanzo himself, much to the swan’s obvious frustration. Jesse learned very quickly that Genji had no concept of what to feed him because that evening Hanzo stormed in and informed Genji that swans  _ did not eat tuna salad _ . So Jesse had to stop and show Genji where he kept the food and how to cut up fruit into small enough pieces for Hanzo in his swan form and what combination of fruit and grains was suitable as a base for Hanzo’s feed.

It turned into a miniature lecture that was ignored, as a few minutes in Jesse turned around and found Genji back on the couch, playing on his phone.

Though Jesse had thought that he was clear that Genji’s presence in his house was a temporary thing Genji clearly thought that he was welcome indefinitely. Not that Jesse had been a clean freak or kept his house particularly neat, but Genji brought it to a new low, spreading clothes and shoes and various books all over the place.

At night when Hanzo visited, Jesse took to telling Hanzo his schedule so that should he tire of his brother’s company, he could find Jesse.

In every imaginable way he was an unwanted house guest. He left doors and windows open, lights on, and messes everywhere. Dishes were left in the sink and one memorable afternoon Jesse and Hanzo returned to find the kitchen filled with smoke and Genji nowhere to be found.

Well, they found him later, sunning himself on the docks and high as a kite, having completely forgotten that he had put anything on the stove to eat.

Hanzo, still in swan form, had charged at Genji, biting and hissing and beating him with his wings much to the delight of the children playing on the playground across the lake. Jesse had gone back inside to begin cleaning, having found chunks of charred egg on the  _ ceiling _ .

“You should have told me that I was such a burden,” Genji said later that night as Jesse and Hanzo were making dinner. “I’m  _ sorry _ that trying to break the curse on my brother is  _ inconveniencing you _ .”

Feeling anger thrumming through his veins, Jesse very carefully put down the knife lest he give in to the urge to stab him. “I asked you if you needed a place to stay  _ for the night _ ; it’s been a week,” he said, meeting Genji’s eyes. “When I return from my work having graciously decided  _ not _ to kick you out, I find that my house is a mess, all the doors are open with the AC running, and every light in the house is on. There are always dishes in the sink that are not cleaned and my living room is no longer my own in a way that I had not consented to.” He stopped to take a deep breath and force his tone lower. “While perhaps you may be helping Hanzo, you are also treating this as your own personal vacation.”

Genji said nothing for the rest of the night and seemed even more cowed when he looked at Hanzo and found that his brother didn’t seem inclined to defend him.

The next morning he apologized very quietly to Jesse for his imposition.

Cohabiting with Genji got easier after that.

He didn’t change overnight – Jesse didn’t have that kind of power over him – but he did change and Jesse could see that Genji was really trying in more ways than one. Han the Swan still made appearances at the clinic of course but the evenings and afternoons were taken up by working with Genji who had spent the day researching ways to try and break Hanzo’s curse.

After coming home from dinner with Ana and Fareeha and Ana’s giant of a husband Reinhardt to find that his house stank of some kind of bitter, clinging smoke despite Genji’s best efforts to hide it, he banished Genji to an outdoor shed. The next day they cleaned it out with Hanzo hissing at them as Jesse’s living shadow.

It turned out that Jesse wasn’t the only one that chattered at Hanzo. Perhaps it was a magic thing or maybe a brother thing, but Genji argued back at Hanzo’s angry swan hissing and grunting as if he spoke in English or Japanese.

They argued about ley lines and magnetic fields and  _ feng shui _ and spirits and things that Jesse didn’t understand. He followed their direction until he was told (or pecked at) to move a piece of furniture he just moved from one place to another as they argued amongst themselves. With the door kept open and Hanzo banished to the yard to keep the paint from getting in his feathers, Jesse and Genji sealed and painted the shitty construction of the interior of the shed.

Genji had explained at the hardware store that the paint would let him paint runes if needed and had bought it himself for which Jesse was thankful. Giving him an unused shed was one thing but the buckets of paint, equipment, and the  _ quality _ that Genji demanded was  _ expensive _ .

That night Hanzo cooked for them both, having changed back before either of them were done with the shed. Jesse found some old halogen lights in the shed he  _ actually _ used and a few extension cords which he ran to the house so they could see what they were doing. By the time they were both done, light-headed from the exertion and the paint fumes, Jesse could  _ almost _ call Genji his friend.

When they finally wandered inside Hanzo ordered that they shower and change before they sit down to eat and followed Jesse to the outdoor shower. Very quietly he thanked Jesse for what he did and then with a licentious smirk, pushed Jesse against the wall of the shower and slid to his knees.

Jesse couldn’t help his ragged groan, born of an almost Pavlovian association of Hanzo on his knees with Very Good Things. “Hanzo,” he breathed. He licked his dry lips, scrambling at the rough wooden walls of the outdoor shower. “ _ Hanzo _ .” 

“Yes?” Hanzo asked as he pressed kisses to Jesse’s trembling thighs. “What is it?” He pressed a kiss higher, near the soft skin of Jesse’s hip. “What’s wrong?” He kissed the ticklish part of Jesse’s hips over his pelvis, his chin bumping against Jesse’s cock which was rapidly filling with blood, fast enough that he was getting light-headed. “Tell me.” 

Licking his lips, Jesse opened and closed his mouth, not unlike a fish out of water, trying to find the words he desperately wanted to say. Tried to find the frayed strings of his thoughts to piece together but the heat in Hanzo’s eyes banished them.

“Be quiet or we will be caught,” Hanzo added and tilted his head inward, nosing at the thick root of Jesse’s cock. He curled his tongue around as much as he could. Jesse groaned as Hanzo pressed kisses to his pelvis, to his cock. His legs shook when Hanzo tipped it back and leaned down to mouth at Jesse’s balls. 

Hanzo’s free had came up to cup them, rolling them in his palm and pressing his fingertips against the spot just behind them. Instinctively Jesse spread his legs further, his hands scrabbling at the wall behind him, finally finding the peg hangers and gripping them with white knuckles. 

“Yes,” Hanzo breathed. “Hang on, Jesse.” 

Jesse’s head thumped back against the wall of the shower. “ _ Fuck _ , sweetness…”

“I love it when you call me that,” Hanzo whispered like a secret, his lips trailing teasing kisses against the skin of his cock. His hand followed in the wake of his mouth, brushing teasing fingers along Jesse’s skin. 

His legs trembled as Hanzo kissed all the way up his length. He paid special attention to Jesse’s slit, to the foreskin that had peeled back to reveal his flushed head. 

Hanzo tucked Jesse’s cock against his cheek and tilted his head back to look up at Jesse. “Say it again?”

Jesse reached one hand down and brushed his fingers gently through Hanzo’s hair. “Sweetness,” he groaned. “You’re gonna be the death of me.” 

With a wicked grin, Hanzo kissed the tip of Jesse’s flushed cock, parting when his lips were slick and sticky. “I hope not,” he said. His cheeks were flushed, his lips already swollen. “I have so much more in mind for you.” 

Then slowly, so slowly, Hanzo slid Jesse’s cock into his mouth. Jesse’s legs shook and he gripped the peg handles with white knuckles and dug his fingers roughly - probably  _ too _ roughly - into Hanzo’s hair. 

Without waiting for him to get used to the wet heat or the way that Hanzo’s tongue twisted and wiggled against him, Hanzo began bobbing his head. He fed more and more of Jesse’s flushed cock into his mouth, slow and teasing until it was as far as Hanzo could reach. 

Jesse’s hips twitched and he made a breathy noise as he felt Hanzo’s throat flutter around him. His eyes were watering now as he slowly slid off. One of his hands trailed where his lips had just been, squeezing just right and tugging his foreskin when he reached the tip. As Hanzo caught his breath he pumped Jesse’s cock. 

Jesse was mortified when his stomach gurgled.

Leaning back, Hanzo laughed. “Let’s get you inside,” he said and Jesse was almost disappointed though from the heated look in Hanzo’s dark eyes he wouldn’t suffer for  _ too _ long. 

Opening his mouth, Jesse was about to say something but his words left him when Hanzo suddenly sank down as far and fast as he could on Jesse’s cock. Jesse  _ yelled _ , his head smacking against the wooden wall of the shower with a loud  _ thump! _

Hanzo worked what he couldn't reach with his mouth with his free hand, spit running down over his knuckles and dripping down his chin. He hummed when the tip rested on his tongue, he swallowed when it bumped down into his throat. With his other hand he rolled Jesse’s balls and wiggled his fingers further back, teasing Jesse with the promise of something more. 

He didn’t realize he was talking - breathing pleas, expletives, a mantra of  _ Hanzo, Hanzo, Hanzo _ \- until his voice left him. Hanzo’s fingers nudged up against his hole, the heel of his palm grinding cruelly against his balls. 

Jesse barely managed to croak out, “ _ Hanzo! _ ” before he was coming hard enough that his vision went white and his legs trembled fitfully. Hanzo worked him through it with quick, eager pumps of his hand and when he opened his eyes ( _ when had he closed them? _ ) he groaned, his dick twitching despite the bone-deep satiation he felt. 

Leaning back, Hanzo licked his lips. Streaks of white decorated his face, draping over the crooked bridge of his nose, dripping down his cheeks. More marked his lips and mouth and seeing the direction of Jesse’s gaze he used his thumb to wipe a streak of it into his mouth with a playful hum. 

“One day you’re gonna be the death of me,” Jesse croaked and Hanzo carefully helped him to sit in one of the benches. 

He leaned in for a kiss, carefully pecking Jesse on the cheek with sticky lips. Up close he smelled musky, smelled like sex and come. Jesse thought that he would be disgusted by it but it only sent a possessive thrill through him.

“I hope not,” Hanzo said, groaning as he stood up and ducked under the spray of the shower. 

Jesse watched greedily as the water caught the golden glow of the outdoor lights and traced down Hanzo’s spine and over his skin. His dick twitched even though he knew he didn’t have anything more in him anytime soon. 

He could hardly even stand at this point. 

When he got feeling back in his limbs, he forced himself to stand and join Hanzo under the spray. They lazily kissed as they washed each other, sweet and unhurried. 

It was a while before they made it back into the house and in that time they found that Genji had found dinner and had stolen all of the melted cheese off the top of the mashed potatoes. Jesse laughed at the look of betrayal on Genji’s face when Hanzo revealed the  _ good _ cheese, the sharp cheddar and black pepper one that he had hidden from Genji, and grated it on his and Jesse’s potatoes with a smug smirk.

They ate on the couch, Hanzo bookended by Genji and Jesse, and watched B-Grade horror movies while heckling at the bad acting, pathetic storyline, and corny special effects. In the flickering light of the TV Jesse learned more about magic as the brothers bickered over the curse in the movie.

(It turned out that the movie wasn’t about a magical curse at all, just a curse of bad planning and human greed. The revelation and the looks of horror and disgust on the brothers’ faces made Jesse choke on his beer and laugh himself silly.)

Later that night Hanzo once more curled into the bay of his arm and tangled their legs together. Jesse tried to roll over and groaned, his body already feeling the ache from all the work that he and Genji had done that day.

“Let me take care of you,” Hanzo whispered into his ear, his voice soft and earnest and Jesse was helpless to do anything but obey.

He urged Jesse slowly on to his front and allowed him to adjust himself for comfort. Then he started slowly, straddling Jesse’s waist to get at the muscles of his back. Hanzo put his weight into his strokes, finding tension and knots and easing them out. 

Jesse hummed or grunted at each, struggling to not tense up and breathe through the ache. Hanzo was thorough as well, massaging his neck (aching from craning his head up to paint even the damn ceilings) and shoulders (aching from painting and moving) and the planes of his back. 

Cracking his eyes open, Jesse saw little glimmers of blue light like fireflies and relaxed further as even the pain of the massage faded away into warmth. He sighed deeply. 

“Good boy,” Hanzo murmured into his ear and Jesse groaned. 

He lost track of time, his world caught up in the glimmer of magic, the soothing motions of Hanzo’s massage. For all he knew he could have been there for hours rather than minutes, boneless and contented as Hanzo ran soothing fingers lightly over his skin. 

Hanzo’s fingers trailed downward and the glow of his magic faded. He dug his fingers into Jesse’s mid and lower back. 

Straddling Jesse’s thighs, Hanzo palmed his ass and pressed his thumbs into the thick muscle there. “There,” he said with a contented sigh. “I will never get tired of this.” His thumbs slid inward and Jesse whined, trying to spread his legs further to offer Hanzo more space. Hanzo chuckled when Jesse’s thighs bumped against his own and didn’t move. 

One hand drifted downward, following the crease where Jesse’s ass met thigh inward. He brushed teasing fingers against Jesse’s perineum with barely-there pressure that tickled as much as it teased. 

Jesse felt Hanzo shift and then heard the drawer to his nightstand open and close; a moment later he heard the familiar click of the cap to his lube bottle and heat traveled up his spine like lightning. 

“So pretty,” Hanzo whispered as if to himself, his hands pulling back and away. Jesse was almost embarrassed for his almost canine whine but the moment passed when Hanzo shushed him softly. “It’s alright,” Hanzo breathed somewhere above him. “Shh, don’t worry, I’ll fill you up.” 

Jesse shuddered as slick fingers traced down his crack to circle his hole. With Hanzo murmuring breathy reassurances, promises, praises, he slowly slid his middle finger in until it was buried to the knuckle. 

“You take me so well,” Hanzo murmured and twisted his finger, making Jesse buck backwards. “Shh,” he murmured, settling his weight so that he pinned Jesse’s thighs more firmly against the bed. “Oh dearest, let me take care of you.” 

Slowly he began pumping his finger in Jesse, twisting his finger and teasing Jesse’s hole with the promise of more. He groaned when Hanzo’s fingers slipped out and then again when two pressed against his hole, teasing for a moment before sliding in. 

With perfect aim Hanzo found his prostate and rubbed against it, twisting and splaying his fingers as if to work him even more open for something larger. Beneath him Jesse could feel his cock throbbing and leaking into the sheets. 

“Sweetness,” he begged, muffled by the pillow. “Sweetness, please!” 

“‘Please’ what?” Hanzo asked and Jesse could hear the smirk in his voice. “Use your words.” 

Jesse’s mouth worked as Hanzo’s fingers returned to his prostate, prodding and massaging it as he struggled to buck back, to get friction on his aching dick. “Please,” he whimpered unable to even articulate his need. He wanted more. 

Then Hanzo’s hand pulled out and he groaned, disappointed and desperate. He bucked when he felt Hanzo press his lips against the base of his spine. “I’ll take care of you,” Hanzo promised. Jesse could hear him rummaging around, heard the closet door open. “Get on your knees.” 

Jesse scrambled to obey, alarmed and impossibly turned on at the feeling of the slick running down his crack and tickling the skin of his balls. He could feel his cock bobbing beneath him and groaned, crossing his arms in front of him and pillowing his head there. 

Soon enough Hanzo returned and drew the leather of one of Jesse’s belts across his back. “Do you have any objection to me tying you up?” he asked seriously. “I know I should have asked before but-”

“ _ Please _ ,” Jesse groaned, almost a demand. His legs trembled. “Please, Hanzo, sweetness,  _ please _ .” 

Hanzo hummed behind him. “I should say ‘no’,” Hanzo said conversationally as he drew Jesse’s hands backwards and tied them to his legs, wrist to knee with Jesse’s own belts. Jesse groaned. “We’ll talk about this later.” 

“ _ Yes _ ,” Jesse groaned. Then Hanzo’s fingers were sliding back in and the angle was different now. Somehow he had even less everage before and all he could do was lay there and take it. 

“You take me so nicely,” Hanzo said again, pulling his fingers out with a slick sound. They returned a moment later with a friend; three fingers wiggled into Jesse’s pliant, willing hole and Hanzo froze, letting him acclimate himself to the new stretch. With his other hand, he massaged Jesse’s dick, tapping it with the tips of his fingers to watch it bob. The little stings made Jesse whimper and whine, trying to buck toward it, away, into Hanzo’s fingers. “Sucking me in so nicely. I wonder how big of a toy you can take. How many of my fingers?” 

Slowly he began to move, rolling his fingers like a wave, wiggling them independently, spreading them wide. Each movement made Jesse cry out and wobble in his bonds. Drool slipped out of his mouth, wet the blankets and pillows beneath him. He could feel himself dripping lube and precum, the sounds slick and wet as Hanzo moved his fingers. 

“How many more can I fit tonight?” Hanzo asked almost conversationally though even in his euphoric haze Jesse could hear how wrecked he was. “Think I can get one more?” Hanzo’s pinkie finger prodded at his hole. “I wish you could see yourself,” Hanzo breathed a moment later. “You look so lovely taking my fingers. Can you take other things? Perhaps your toys?” 

Jesse grunted when Hanzo’s pinkie finger wiggled in and out, teasing with the promise and burn of more. 

“How many of them do you think you could take?” Hanzo asked, his breath hitching. The thrusts of his hand began to speed up, prodding and massaging with unerring accuracy at Jesse’s prostate. “Or perhaps we should just get a new one? One perhaps with a harness? I’d love to see you come apart as I fuck you on my cock.” 

Pleasure raced up and down his spine like lightning. His cock bobbed, flushed and heavy beneath him; a sticky string of precum connected it to a puddle below him..

“Can you come just like this?” Hanzo asked, twisting his fingers away from Jesse’s prostate much to his muffled groans of protest. “Just from me fucking you on my fingers?” He braced an arm against Jesse’s ass and used a thumb to open his cheeks to watch Jesse’s debauchery. To watch the pink rim of his ass swallow his fingers. “Come on, dear one,” Hanzo murmured with such tenderness that Jesse bucked again, finding himself immediately at the very edge of orgasm. “Tell me what you want. Ask for it.” 

Jesse opened his mouth, fully intending on it.  _ Please, please fuck me dearest, please make me come darling _ . But then Hanzo’s fingers twisted and pressed on his prostate and he was gone. 

He came to an undetermined amount of time later. Hanzo was gently massaging his arms, thoroughly traveling from shoulder (strained from his position) to neck (again) to wrist and knees where the belts had dug into his skin. 

Hanzo pressed a soft kiss to Jesse’s forehead and maneuvered the stained comforter out from beneath them. Surprisingly Jesse’s skin felt clean (or as clean as it would after sex like that) and Hanzo didn’t seem impatient or frustrated in any way. 

“Shh,” Hanzo said as Jesse’s arm flapped at his thigh, trailing his hands inward toward his center. “I took care of myself already,” he added and Jesse could hear the smirk in his voice. 

“Stay,” Jesse murmured as Hanzo curled into his side again.

Hanzo chuckled, casually slinging an arm over Jesse’s waist, burying his nose into the swell of his shoulder. “You don’t even have to ask,” he said softly. “I’ll stay as long as you want me to.”

_ Forever? _ Jesse wanted to ask but his eyes and tongue were too heavy and he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

It felt weird to have people in his house again. Hanzo was one thing – he cleaned up after himself and really was only there in the evenings – but Genji…well after that talk and the introduction of his own space to work he was much better about not being a complete slob. He participated in chores and started an argument with Hanzo when he revealed that he knew cleaning spells but had never used them when he visited Hanzo’s house or used it on his own.

(Jesse had backed out of that conversation, drowning it out with the vacuum and bumping into their ankles when it only escalated into angry Japanese yelling. He knew that they weren’t  _ really _ angry at each other but he did occasionally enjoy having some peace and quiet in his own house, thank you very much.)

With Hanzo he could leave doors open and walk around naked if he chose. Now he had to be conscious about closing  _ and  _ locking the doors and wearing at least a pair of boxers on his days off.

Genji learned quickly to knock before opening a closed door and Hanzo and Jesse to  _ lock _ the door after the incident where upon hearing a suspicious sound, Genji had burst into the room while they were in a…compromising position. The next morning a red-faced Genji gave Jesse a small leather pouch that hung on a string for him to hang on the door. “Soundproofing,” he said and then added, “And I don’t to know  _ anything else _ .”

With Genji there, their sex life suffered a bit. On one hand Jesse was sad because sex with Hanzo was truly a transcendent experience; on the other, it meant that he got to hold him quietly, kiss him softer, and spend more time with  _ him _ (and his brother who never seemed to take a hint).

(More than once they had tried to subtly, then gently, then outright ban Genji from some of their “date nights”. Even calling it that wouldn’t dissuade Genji from tagging along so they eventually resigned themselves to having a chaperone. Not that they had been expecting to get frisky in the bathrooms at the nice restaurants or in some back alleyway but it would be nice to have something to do that was just for them.)

“Is this what it’s like to have a child?” Jesse wondered to the ceiling one night in a whisper. Despite their promises that Genji’s alleged sound-proofing spell was worth its salt, Jesse didn’t want to test it.

Hanzo grunted into his chest. For once it was him that was sleepy, not Jesse, and Jesse amused himself by watching the way his eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks, how his face softened as he drifted toward sleep. He carded his fingers through Hanzo’s loose hair and Hanzo hummed sleepily into the caress, relaxing bonelessly into Jesse’s arms.

“I’d rather have a pet with you,” Hanzo mumbled into Jesse’s skin. “They’re cuter at least and would fit in with the theme of the rehabilitation center.”

“And threatening to turn them into stew would be slightly less weird,” Jesse agreed and Hanzo snorted. His lips ached to say The Words and he gagged them by pressing soft kisses to Hanzo’s forehead and nose and cheeks and eyelids.

Hanzo grunted again and tipped his head back to press a soft, achingly sweet kiss against Jesse’s lips. He thought his heart was about to explode. “I need to stay with Genji tomorrow,” he mumbled. “He has a few leads and tests he’d like to run.”

Smiling, Jesse pressed a kiss against Hanzo’s forehead. “Alright, sweetness,” he said. “See you at night?”

When Hanzo didn’t respond, Jesse peered down and found that he had fallen asleep. Smiling hard enough that his cheeks hurt, Jesse relaxed and basked in the warmth of Hanzo at his side.

Sleep came quickly as did dreams of The Word.

Hanzo was gone by the time he woke up. In his place on the pillow beside him was a single white feather and Jesse smiled. Tucking it beneath his pillow like the treasure it was, Jesse rolled out of bed to start the day.

* * *

Waking up early was no chore for Hanzo. Despite what Jesse may think, he did tend to wake up earlier than him if only for his transformations.

Wouldn’t you wake up if you suddenly shrank, if you were forced into a skin that wasn’t your own?

So Hanzo wasn’t surprised that he woke up before Jesse as the first rays of the sun were beginning to lighten the horizon. The clock on Jesse’s bedside table ready 05:41AM. He and Genji had checked the expected time of sunrise the night before; he had a few more precious minutes with a sleeping Jesse.

Slowly he got up, untangling himself from the sleep-heavy limbs of his…lover? Boyfriend? Elsewhere in the house Hanzo could hear Genji’s phone alarm go off. His brother grumbled and the alarm silenced; it would go off again in five minutes and then again five minutes later as Genji was notorious for snoozing his alarm until the absolute last minute.

Hanzo opened the door to Jesse’s bedroom, something he wouldn’t be able to do as a swan, and climbed back in bed with Jesse. In his absence Jesse had rolled over on his side, his arms extended into the warm spot Hanzo had left behind as if searching for him.

When Hanzo maneuvered himself between Jesse’s limbs they closed around him like a trap, drawing him closer into Jesse’s chest. “It’s okay, Jesse,” he murmured quietly so as to not wake him. “I’m not leaving you.” he swallowed and felt obliged to add, “Not willingly.”

Jesse’s arms tightened around him as if sensing his unease and Hanzo couldn’t help but offer a watery smile that trembled at the edges. Even unconscious he wanted to comfort Hanzo and Hanzo…well all Hanzo did was bring trouble for him.

“There’s so many things I wish I could say,” he whispered, his breath rustling the curly hairs on Jesse’s chest. “So many things I want to tell you.”

In the other room Genji’s alarm went off again, audible through the cracked door, and Hanzo held his breath, waiting to hear it shut off again.

“I know about my curse,” he breathed to Jesse. “I just can’t say it.” a knot of frustration that always seemed to grow the more he thought about it tightened somewhere beneath his diaphragm. “I wish that I could.” For a moment he thought about it, imagined what it might be like if he hadn’t been so foolish and nearly fell back asleep. 

He sighed when he heard the door to the bathroom creak open and then closed; he was out of time. Slowly he extricated himself out of Jesse’s loose embrace and checked the clock. It seemed that time had moved quicker than he had anticipated during his melancholy musings.

06:02AM.

Hanzo looked out the window at the sunrise. It was mostly blocked by trees and a tall barn that Jesse had once told him used to hold cows and horses when his Pa was young. But the sun had risen, its rays lighting up the horizon in muted pinks and blues and golds.

Sunrise had been nearly ten minutes ago and still the curse hadn’t yet taken hold to change him back into a swan. The curse was late and that was never a good thing.

He tried to tell himself that it was just because he wasn’t  _ in _ the rays of the sun but even to himself it wasn’t convincing.

Picking up a towel, Hanzo wrapped it around his waist and slipped out the door, closing it quietly behind him. He walked out into the living room in time for Genji’s alarm to go off, shutting it off before it could ring more than a few times.

Padding into the kitchen, he watched the sun on the waters of the lake until he felt the magic that heralded the curse taking hold of his body again. He glanced down at the clock on the stove: 06:04.

The curse was late.

The words that he tried not to think came back, echoing, echoing.  

The sun had risen. His hands shook as he draped the towel over the back of one of the chairs in the dining room.

As he was forced back into the shape of a swan, the words rattled around in his head while his heart thundered high in his throat.

The curse was late.

_ The curse was late _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always to everyone that has left comments and kudos. It really makes my day to see the notices for them coming through!
> 
> ~DC


	8. A Slow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I am late...I had been feeling rather off this week so even though the majority of this was complete, I wasn't feeling up to finishing it off and making edits. After hibernating for 12 hours I feel much better now :D
> 
> Sexy Time Warnings:  
> Oral sex...lots of oral sex  
> Non-explicit bondage (hobble belts)  
> Implied dirty talk  
> Implied pegging and anal fingering  
> Implied misgendering and sexism

Jesse could tell that work on the counter-curse was grating on them, was whittling away their confidence. Day by day Genji and Hanzo worked together and night by might Hanzo returned to Jesse’s bed as a human, exhausted and frustrated.

Some nights Hanzo would be content to let Jesse take the lead. He’d let Jesse lean him back in the pillows and slowly worship his whole body and find every sensitive spot that made him twist and sigh. 

Those kinds of nights made Jesse’s heart feel as if it were about to burst. He’d find and memorize each place that made Hanzo arch, made his breath hitch, made him moan or cry out or press into Jesse’s hands and mouth in search of more. 

“So greedy,” Jesse would whisper against Hanzo’s skin. He was sure to leave dark purple marks all over Hanzo on those nights. They wouldn’t last - they would be healed by the curse’s magic and Hanzo’s transformations - so he could and did leave marks as often as he could.

More often than not on those nights, when Hanzo was thoroughly wrecked and covered in love bites Jesse would position him at the edge of the bed and worship until Hanzo was a twitching mess, begging for Jesse to take a break.

Those nights Jesse would have to clean the sheets  _ again _ but it was worth it to see the boneless way that Hanzo lay afterwards. His jaw and neck would be sore the next day but it was worth it to see the blissed out look on Hanzo’s face as they drifted off to sleep. 

On other nights when Hanzo was particularly frustrated - at the curse, at Genji, at other things that Hanzo didn’t want to speak about - he was so delightfully cruel. 

Jesse knew intellectually that it was Hanzo’s attempt to have something - even something or someone as insignificant as Jesse - that he  _ could _ control. That didn’t mean that he wasn’t happy to kneel in front of Hanzo.

Hanzo would hold him on the edge of orgasm for what felt like hours until all Jesse could do was beg...if his mouth was free. Sometimes Hanzo would ride his face while toying with Jesse to make him groan against Hanzo’s cock. 

Sometimes Hanzo would tie him with his belts, hobble his legs and arms together or spread and work on making Jesse come dry. 

Then when Jesse was a limp, sweaty mess Hanzo would carefully untie him and rub out the marks pressed into his skin by the polished leather. He would whisper soft, sweet things about how good Jesse had been and how lovely he felt and how much he wanted to pull a harness on and see how wrecked and loose he could make Jesse’s ass. It was soothing and teasing all at once and made Jesse hunger for  _ more _ even though his body vehemently protested it. 

Hanzo would gently clean Jesse off with a damp towel - cool and soothing against his overheated and sweaty skin - and then would arrange Jesse’s limp limbs so that he and Jesse were tangled together.

But such things couldn’t work with Genji.

A week into their serious workings, Genji slammed his notebook down just after Hanzo changed back for the evening. Jesse, who had been leaning in for a kiss, jumped back and looked at Genji in surprise.

“That’s it,” he snapped. “I can’t take this anymore. We’re going out tonight so I don’t go completely crazy.” He jabbed a finger at Jesse and Hanzo. “And  _ you two _ are going with me.”

“I’d rather not,” Hanzo said flatly, accepting the blanket that Jesse offered him. He turned to Jesse. “But…you can go if you would like. I just…want some peace and quiet.”

Genji snorted, rolled his eyes. “Big surprise,” he muttered.

Ignoring Genji, Jesse gently cupped Hanzo’s chin. “You sure?”

Hanzo’s smile was shaky. “I just…I just need some quiet. I have a lot to think about.” He swallowed. “Not to kick you out of your own house I-”

Jesse waved it off. “Don’t worry,” he murmured and leaned in for a soft kiss. Hanzo melted into his arms as if that had been exactly what he had wanted. Jesse refused to let himself believe that it had been what he had needed as well. “If that’s what you need…are you sure?”

Swallowing, Hanzo nodded. “Just a quiet night.”

Behind them, Genji gagged theatrically. “Come  _ on _ ,” he said, clapping his hands loudly. “Let’s go, the night’s young! Let Hanzo be a boring stick in the mud!”

Jesse gently kissed Hanzo again. “I need a shower first,” Jesse said loud enough for Genji to hear.

“And  _ I _ need to talk to my brother first,” Hanzo said, completely at odds with the heated look in his eyes. Behind them, Genji groaned. Jesse stole another kiss from Hanzo and disappeared down the hall.

A quick shower and change of clothes later, Jesse collected another kiss from Hanzo, asked him if he was sure he was fine alone, and then left with Genji, promising to bring back something for Hanzo for dinner, thinking that it was going to be a short excursion.

He was wrong.

He was so very wrong.

Hours later, stinking of booze and stale smoke Jesse stumbled into his bedroom, finding Hanzo asleep on his bed. Guilt ate away his drunken buzz as he checked the clock: 03:34AM. Hanzo woke up as he finished undressing, watching him from the bed as he stumbled around. He probably made a lot more noise than he meant to and eventually Hanzo got out of bed, gloriously naked, and helped him undress.

Hanzo drew him into bed and into a kiss and Jesse groaned, wrapping his arms around Hanzo’s waist. “Don’t think I got nothing more in me,” he laughed. “You Shimadas suck everything outta me, I swear.”

Still, he kissed Hanzo gently, pressing his lips to the creases in Hanzo’s cheeks and brow. He was indulgent, allowing Jesse to tug him down until they were awkwardly tangled, Hanzo resting halfway on Jesse’s chest.

With the alcohol thrumming through his veins it was harder than normal to resist holding back The Words from being said. They were at the tip of his tongue, right at his lips, so he buried them in Hanzo’s hair. “How was your night?” he asked Hanzo.

“Quiet,” Hanzo said after a long pause and Jesse realized that Hanzo might have been trying to go to sleep.

“Sorry,” he mumbled into Hanzo’s hair. “Do you want to go back to sleep?”

He ran his hands clumsily up and down Hanzo’s bare back and hoped that it was soothing. “It’s alright,” Hanzo said in an odd tone of voice.

Reaching down, Jesse clumsily tipped Hanzo’s chin up. The alcohol made his fingers feel fat and unwieldy but seeing Hanzo looked down at him, biting his lip…he shivered and his chest felt like it was lighter than air. Some of Hanzo’s long midnight hair fell, forming a gauzy curtain between Jesse and the window. It sent most of Hanzo’s face into shadow and made his dark eyes seem like pools of ink.

“God,” he breathed. “Sweetness I-”  _ Sweetness I love you. Ain’t no one I ever loved like this. _ He swallowed. Scrambled for something to say other than The Words. “I ain’t ever seen anyone as beautiful as you.”

A strange look crossed Hanzo’s face. He leaned down to kiss Jesse. “You foolish man,” he breathed against Jesse’s lips.

“Only for you,” Jesse said with a crooked grin, the closest he could let himself to say It.

Hanzo sighed and curled into Jesse’s side. He ran his fingers soothingly over the bare skin of Jesse’s chest. “Sleep dearest,” he murmured.

Something in his chest fluttered to hear that come from Hanzo’s lips. Sighing, he tightened his arms around Hanzo’s shoulders.

* * *

It became a regular occurrence. 

In the mornings Genji would feed Hanzo and the two of them would disappear into the little shed in the backyard to do Magic Things. By the time Jesse himself work up, they would have been at it for a while. 

He would go about his day without Hanzo with him and would usually come home in time for a shower before being dragged out to dinner with Genji. Hanzo sometimes came along and those nights Genji declared were the most boring. They didn’t go out to the bars or clubs those nights: just out for dinner and then back. 

Despite claiming they were boring, even Genji couldn’t deny those nights weren’t fun. The three of them would sit on the couch - Hanzo usually draped in some way over or in Jesse’s lap - and watch movies on Netflix. Once -  _ only _ once - they tried to play board games but Genji cheated and Hanzo and Jesse were too competitive. 

Once in awhile Genji and Hanzo would stay up late to work one spell or another in an attempt to break the curse. Those nights especially Hanzo would come back, sometimes only a few hours before dawn, angry and frustrated. Despite that he would make an extra effort to not wake Jesse up.

He still did as Jesse was still not used to the novelty of having a man like Hanzo so willingly climb in bed with him - for sex or otherwise. Seeing him so upset, Jesse would tug him closer and gently press kisses to his forehead, nose, eyelids, chin, lips until Hanzo relaxed with a pleased sigh into Jesse’s chest. Sometimes it turned into slow, sleepy sex; sometimes it didn’t and they just held each other through the night, trading soft kisses and gentle touches until they both fell asleep. 

“I don’t know if I can keep up this pace,” Genji complained one night as they ate. Genji, as always, had wanted to go out but Hanzo had wanted to stay in; Jesse had sided with Hanzo and they compromised by getting takeout from a nearby Mexican place. “We might need to find someone to help.”

Hanzo glared at his brother. “And who would we ask?” he demanded.

“Ogundimu,” Genji shot back. Hanzo choked on the bite he took of his burrito and nearly dropped it. “No, wait, listen,” he added quickly when Hanzo’s glare intensified. “Hear me out.”

“ _ Absolutely not _ ,” Hanzo hissed.

Jesse took another bite of his burrito and listened. If not for the way that Hanzo leaned subtly into his side he would have guessed that he was forgotten to the brothers. As if he were a piece of furniture in his own house.

“Look,” Genji said. “He knows curses – it’s what his family is known for!”

“And  _ I _ know curses too,” Hanzo hissed back. “Just because you know  _ curses _ doesn’t mean you know how to  _ counter _ them.”

“People seek him out all the time,” Genji argued.

Hanzo scoffed. “And at what cost? What does he demand in return?” He made a disgusted noise when some of the moisture in the taco dripped on his legs. Jesse handed him a napkin which he took absently, dabbing at the streaks down his calves. “No, Genji, I will not.”

“You know what it sounds like?” Genji snapped, throwing his burrito down on the table. It exploded, sending beans, rice, and various other gooey things all over the table and floor. Jesse very deliberately kept chewing, his eyes lingering on a desiccated-looking cube-shaped piece of steak under the TV stand.

_ That’s how I get ants _ , he thought mournfully to himself.

“It sounds like you  _ want _ to be stuck like this forever!” Genji continued, clearly not noticing (or not caring if he did) the mess he just caused. “Is this how you want to live your life? A swan by day and human by night?” He leaned forward around Hanzo and jabbed a finger at Jesse. “And you? Is  _ this _ what you want?” he gestured to Hanzo whose face had gone pale with quiet fury. “Toeing the line with bestiality?”

Jesse swallowed his bite and put his food down. He made sure to do it deliberately, thinking about each action to keep from saying or doing something too rash. “If Hanzo doesn’t want to go to this Ogoduri person-”

“Ogundimu,” Hanzo corrected quietly.

“O-gun-di-mu,” Jesse amended, saying it slowly to get it right. He was rewarded by Hanzo’s wan smile. “If he doesn’t want to see whoever this is then I won’t force him.”

Genji snorted. “I don’t believe it,” he sneered. “I don’t believe that you would never fight for him. What kind of man are you?”

“I am the kind of man that knows that not everyone needs a knight on a white horse to come and rescue them,” Jesse snapped. “I am the kind of man that lets people make choices for themselves rather than make those choices and claim that it’s for their benefit.”

Disliking the feeling of rage crawling like a thousand ants beneath his skin, Jesse stood up.

Genji was quiet for a moment. “If Ogundimu can save you,” he said stiffly to his brother. “Then I would give a thousand boons.”

“Leave it,” Hanzo hissed and shoved the small tray holding his tacos away. Grabbing a fistful of napkins from the pile, he cleaned his hands and threw them back on the table. “And don’t promise things to Ogundimu.”

“What if it would help?” Genji demanded, standing. “What if the curse starts degrading? I know it must be. Tell me, brother, how is your magic? How are your familiars? What if Ogundimu can help? What if he can break it before it completely consumes you? What if you’re trapped like that forever?”

Hanzo hissed, not unlike the form he took during the day and said nothing.

Genji turned to Jesse with a wild sort of look in his eyes that Jesse couldn’t quite interpret. “What will you do if your little toy here is trapped as a swan? What if he can’t ever change back?”

“Don’t get me involved in this,” Jesse said for lack of anything else to say. From the triumphant look in Genji’s eyes he knew it too. He turned to Hanzo. “Don’t get me wrong,” he said, forcing his voice softer, gentler. It still came out too rough. “I  _ want _ you to be human all the time. I  _ want _ you to be happy. However that must be accomplished…” he swallowed. “I just want you to be happy.”

Both brothers stared at him and then silence fell. It wasn’t comfortable but it wasn’t quite awkward either. They all sat back down to finish their meals, ignoring the way that the mess Genji made was beginning to stain.

* * *

Later that night, Jesse curled around Hanzo, carding his fingers through his long hair. “I can smell smoke,” Hanzo said into Jesse’s chest. “You’re thinking too hard about something.”

Jesse twisted some of Hanzo’s hair around his fingers and let it slide smoothly out of his loose grip. It fell to the middle of his back and Jesse had had to go out to buy hair ties for him. On a whim he had bought a few nice ribbons as well and had nearly died to see Hanzo using them in his hair. On the other hand he had been relieved, concerned what Hanzo might feel about that.

“You’re thinking about Ogundimu,” Hanzo said when Jesse didn’t answer for a few minutes.

“Yeah,” Jesse admitted. “But it ain’t my business. I meant what I said that it was your choice.”

Hanzo hummed. “You’re very sweet,” he said, an odd note in his voice. He sighed when Jesse tipped his head down to kiss him. “I don’t want Ogundimu touching me,” Hanzo said when they parted. “I want nothing to do with him.”

Jesse didn’t say anything even though he had a thousand questions. Why? What was Hanzo talking about earlier about boons and gifts and types of magic?

“His family specializes in Yoruba herbal magic,” Hanzo said, ducking his head into Jesse’s throat. “And as Genji had said, occasionally dabbled in curses though that branch of his family is nearly extinct. But Akande had always been very…ambitious. They use their magic to strengthen their herbs and remedies. For cleansing of the body and spirit. He didn’t want to limit himself to just that so he found any teacher that would take him and fought to earn the right to be their student.”

There were a thousand things not said. Jesse wondered if this Ogundimu person had fought Hanzo. He wondered who won. Leaning down, he pressed a kiss to Hanzo’s hair.

“I met Akande when I was…” Hanzo paused for a long moment. “Young,” he decided to say. “He thought that I was beneath him until I proved him wrong. Then he always thought of me as his protégé, as someone that would join him at his side at the right time.” Jesse could feel the face Hanzo pulled and twisted to look down at him. “He’d asked me to marry him,” Hanzo admitted. “And reacted poorly when I told him that I was not interested in merging our bloodlines.”

Jesse made a face. “I’m sorry, sweetness.”

He could feel Hanzo smile against his neck. “It took a long time to get over it,” Hanzo admitted candidly. “I’m still kind of mad about it. But that’s not why I don’t want to ask him or his family’s help.”

“You talked about boots earlier,” Jesse remembered.

“Boons,” Hanzo corrected. “To him all magic is transactional – he doesn’t even do the tiniest action, won’t even light a candle if there isn’t something in it for him. If Genji asks him for help, then I worry about what he may ask for and what Genji would be willing to give.”

Rolling over, Jesse held himself over Hanzo and leaned down to kiss him softly. Hanzo responded immediately and Jesse could feel him relax slowly, one hand gently tangling in the hairs at the nape of Jesse’s neck.

Jesse leaned back and grinned down at Hanzo. Leaning on his right arm, he lifted his left hand and wiggled his fingers. “I am willing to pledge my left arm for you, sweetness,” he promised. He rolled to balance on his left arm while he lifted his right hand. “I’d offer my right as well, but I kinda need it.” he held his right hand in a loose fist and pumped his arm in a crude gesture.

Laughing, Hanzo pushed his shoulders and Jesse let him, rolling on his back so Hanzo could climb and straddle his hips. “Why would you need your right hand for that when you have me?” he asked, a flush high on his cheeks.

Surprised, Jesse could only stare in slack-jawed wonder. He must have stared for too long because Hanzo began ducking his head nervously, opening his mouth as if to take the words back. “I do?” Jesse asked, perhaps a bit dumbly. A slow smile spread across his face and he reached up, tangling his fingers in Hanzo’s hands where they had risen to cover his face. He tugged Hanzo down. “Mighty fine,” he said and drew Hanzo into a gentle kiss. “Want me to show you how  _ fine _ I think you are?” he asked. “Want me to show you how  _ thankful _ I am?”

When Hanzo nodded, Jesse tugged him so that he straddled Jesse’s face, his knees bumping against his ears. Up close he could smell Hanzo, the spicy scent of his arousal and feel just how excited he was. Hanzo’s cock brushed against his lips, teasingly held just out of his reach. Growling, angry that his prize was being denied him, Jesse wrapped both hands around Hanzo’s hips and yanked him down. 

He focused on Hanzo’s dick first, using his extended tongue to guide it between his lips and into his mouth. Jesse let his tongue trace Hanzo’s cock as far as he could until Hanzo’s groin butted against Jesse’s chin, spreading sticky slick into his beard. 

Groaning - and hearing Hanzo echo him from above - Jesse tugged Hanzo’s hips closer, encouraged him to fuck as deep as he could into Jesse’s mouth. Hanzo didn’t need further encouragement and bucked his hips wildly, his hands tightly gripping Jesse’s headboard 

Jesse let his hands roam, running along the backs of Hanzo’s thighs to the globes of his ass which he squeezed just to hear the way Hanzo groaned. Letting one hand dip inward, Jesse traced where Hanzo was hot and slick, teasing with the promise of something more. 

He wanted to say so many things - as always, The Words being among those that he wanted to say and wanted to ask and ask and ask. Jesse wanted to tell Hanzo how wet he was, wanted to compliment him on how he tasted - perhaps caused by him eating so much fruit as a swan - and how Jesse’s tongue was always sticky after eating Hanzo out like this (not that he’d complain) or describe how it tickled and drove him crazy to feel the way it dripped down his lips and chin and cheeks. 

Pa had taught him to always tell the truth but also not to talk with his mouth full and being so delightfully full of Hanzo’s cock Jesse didn’t want to stop. He worked his jaw, massaged Hanzo with his lips and tongue just to hear the broken way he cried out. 

Unable to help himself, Jesse smirked and worked harder, faster until Hanzo was twitching and groaning in overstimulation, tugging him away by his hair. Jesse made sure to lick his lips when Hanzo peered down at Jesse between his legs. 

Growling, Hanzo moved and swooped in to kiss Jesse fiercely, full of teeth and tongue and the lightning mood he seemed to get when Jesse did a particularly good job (if Jesse did say so himself). 

“You taste good,” Jesse’s fool mouth said when they parted. 

Hanzo smirked, much to his relief and shifted, turning around. “Race you,” he said, arching his back and bringing his cock back within easy reach. 

Opening his mouth, Jesse wasn’t prepared for what he realized in hindsight was very obvious. He arched his back, nearly throwing Hanzo off or choking him as Hanzo closed his lips around the flushed tip of his cock. 

“Oh,” he breathed, far too breathy for him to feel particularly proud. But to be fair, he was certain that Hanzo was trying very hard to pull Jesse’s soul out through his dick.

Jesse barely held out as Hanzo did everything in his power, or so it seemed, to reduce him to an utter wreck of a person. He managed to get Hanzo to come again before he did, his orgasm prolonged by the loud slurping and gulping noises Hanzo made as he swallowed. 

Rolling Hanzo over and spreading his legs wide, Jesse went to town again, biting at Hanzo’s sensitive nipples and drawing fingers teasingly along Hanzo’s core.He had coaxed out two more orgasms from Hanzo (who arched his back and cried out so prettily) before Hanzo begged him off.  

Humming, smug, Jesse wobbled into the bathroom and returned with a damp washcloth which he used to wipe the two of them off. He climbed into bed with Hanzo, tucking himself close. “Stay?” Jesse asked, his jaw already pleasantly aching.

Hanzo smiled and kissed him softly. “As long as you’ll have me,” he promised.

_ Forever? _ Jesse wanted to ask. He was even willing to beg but he held himself back, just like he did with The Words. From the shy, hopeful look in Hanzo’s eyes, he thought that Hanzo heard them anyway. They drifted to sleep, sticky and tangled around each other, without saying anything more.

* * *

Hanzo woke up before Jesse and for a few blessed minutes watched him sleep. With his eyes he traced the bridge of his nose, the barely-there lines of scars, the splattered patterns of freckles over his cheeks and nose and forehead. He was a little scruffier, admitting to Hanzo that he had wanted to grow out his beard a little more.

(When he had heard that, Hanzo had snorted though arousal zinged down his spine. He  _ liked _ the feeling of Jesse’s beard brushing against his skin and from the smug look on Jesse’s face he knew it too. Out loud Hanzo had teased Jesse for being even more of a hobo or perhaps an outlaw from the old West. Then Jesse had drawled, “Ain’t much room here for the both of us. Let me convince you to keep me around.” He had winked and slid down, down, and convinced Hanzo so thoroughly.)

He was pulled from his musings of very pleasant memories by Jesse rolling over, his arm rooting along the sheets as if looking for him. Smiling, Hanzo rolled out of the way and watched, inordinately pleased when Jesse made a mournful noise in his sleep.

“I’m here,” he whispered and watched the frown lines smooth from Jesse’s face. He checked the time. 05:59AM.

Dawn was only a few minutes away, not that the curse was ever on time now.

Hanzo gently pushed at Jesse’s shoulders, rolling him on his back and even in his sleep Jesse obeyed so nicely, sighing as he relaxed under Hanzo’s touch. Ignoring the clock and the rising sun, Hanzo watched Jesse sleep. 

_ I love you _ , he tried to say but the words were strangled in his throat.  _ I love you _ , he wanted to say - he wanted  _ so badly _ \- and tried and tried to force the words out. 

He was still trying when the curse took control over him and his chance was taken from him completely. Instead he clenched his jaw tight to keep from screaming in pain as the change sank violently into bone and muscle 

When he was done, he lay prone on the bed, wings and neck outstretched. Twisting his head, he checked the clock. 

06:21AM.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Akande is a very interesting character. I'm trying not to make him The Villain type of person but at the same time he seems very much like the kind of person that is very much set in their beliefs despite his relatively young age. He's in some ways very traditional which is why he can't possibly fathom why Hanzo would not see the merits of joining their very powerful bloodlines (babymaking). Despite this he still claims (and does to an extent) respect Hanzo's gender identity. He always struck me as That Person we all know that says they are tolerant but is only up to a point. 
> 
> Anyway, enough about that. I'm so sorry for being so late. I got caught up in work and a few other projects where I was going to work on it for an hour but an hour turned into five. _That_ project is done so now I can get back on this one. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has (for some unfathomable reason) followed this so far. Thank you for your patience and all of the comments and kudos. I say it all the time but I mean it when I say that they really make my day. It's the most encouraging thing to know that people enjoy this dumpster fire of a story. 
> 
> ~DC


	9. Downward Spiral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Another update. No sex this time just feelings. Feelings and angst. Swangst, if you will. 
> 
> Warning:  
> Me being a terrible person.

It was late when Genji finally stopped talking, stopped trying and gave up for the night.

True he  _ was _ helping Hanzo – Genji had always been the better of them at  _ breaking _ curses, Hanzo at casting them – but he seemed to be full of boundless energy that grated on Hanzo’s nerves. He wanted nothing more than to return to sleep with Jesse, to tangle their limbs together like the links of a chain, like matching puzzle pieces.

But this needed to be done.

But Genji’s incessant prattle still grated on him.

_ Jesse _ at least could appreciate silence.  _ Jesse _ at least didn’t pressure Hanzo to go out, to go partying, to interact with others, to talk. If Hanzo wouldn’t talk then Jesse would fill the silence and if he wanted quiet then Jesse was as quiet as a shadow.

Checking the time, Hanzo sighed. The clock in the living room was frozen, the battery dead and the hands stuck at 12:00. In the bedroom Hanzo unsurprisingly found that Jesse had fallen asleep and that the digital alarm clock on his bedside table read 03:33AM.

“3-3-3,” Hanzo murmured halfheartedly to himself as he eased the door shut. “Make a wish.”

He undressed, shivering when the air from the window unit hit him, and slid beneath the covers next to Jesse.

Jesse hummed, rolling first away from Hanzo and then to, clumsily wrapping his arms around his waist and tugging him closer. “Whattamizit?” he mumbled, burying his nose in Hanzo’s hair.

“Late,” Hanzo murmured vaguely into Jesse’s throat. Jesse grunted and squeezed Hanzo with the arm draped over his waist. “Will you lock me in my enclosure tomorrow? I’m going to sleep for most of the day I think.”

He wasn’t sure if Jesse heard him but he hummed in a kind of sleepy and distracted way and Hanzo couldn’t help but smile.

“I love you,” Hanzo whispered, barely audible over Jesse’s slow, even breaths. It was a fight - his curse of course tried to force his throat shut but a few precious drops of magic forced against it let him push the words out - but he managed it, even if it hurt him, magically and physically. 

Jesse sighed in his sleep.

There was something freeing about it. Saying those three words. He liked to imagine that Jesse would say them back; how it would sound in his rough voice, how it would feel murmured against his lips.

Somehow unable to sleep, Hanzo carefully wiggled out of Jesse’s sleep-loosened embrace and sat at the edge of the bed and contemplated his curse. It was there; the answer was there just beyond his fingertips. Just as he somehow instinctively knew it was there he also knew that he would never be able to say it out loud.

It was the most insidious of curses but unfortunately a common motif. Unfortunately for him, the young sorcerer had been thorough enough in that regard. He could taste it there, right at the tip of his tongue.

It tasted bitter.

Like tears.

He wished he could help Genji more instead of sit there, of little more help than a rock picked up from the shore of the nearby lake. Like this…helpless and voiceless…well he was nothing.

_ Who was he? _

Feeling something rough brush against his hip, he looked down and found Jesse’s bandaged hand. Apparently one of the vultures had gotten testy and had savaged him…or tried to. The glove prevented blood loss but the joint was either bruised or dislocated, having been grabbed and twisted by the vulture before they had managed to make it let go.

Hanzo had felt a little guilty about that. It was a very rare day that he was freed of Genji’s meddling and had accompanied Jesse to work as he hadn’t in a while. He had been inside with Tubby, as Jesse wasn’t comfortable allowing him near predators. To be fair, Hanzo was okay with that as well; the animal part of him when he was in his swan form didn’t much care for even the thought of going in that area.

And it wasn’t like he could do anything about it anyway. What good was a swan against a vulture? What would he do, slap it with his wings? Peck it with his dull beak until it let go?

Sighing, Hanzo gently lifted the hand and peered at it in the dark. He could see some of the discoloration and swelling, could feel the heat of it beneath the halfhearted gauze bandages that wrapped it. Ana had told Jesse that if it got worse to go to the doctor but Hanzo had the feeling that Jesse wouldn’t do that.

Stubborn man.

Bringing the hand slowly to his lips, Hanzo kissed it softly, letting his limited power fill his hands and lungs. He breathed out, his breath as slow and steady as in meditation and didn’t need to open his eyes to see the faint blue glow that drifted into Jesse’s bruised finger.

He felt sharp pain in his lungs, his chest, from wherever within him that had the magic. It stung, burned; it felt like he was being stabbed with a hundred sharp needles at once but he ignored it in favor of his magic, feeling it slide smoothly out of him and into Jesse’s injured finger.

When he opened his eyes his skin was covered in a slick layer of sweat that prickled in the cold air from the window unit. With shaking hands he put Jesse’s hand – no swelling, no heat from inflamed skin now – back on the bed and lifted his own into the moonlight seeping in through the gap in the curtains.

Sighing, Hanzo traced the smooth barbs of the feathers protruding from the pebbled skin of his hands. Only the fluttering of the afterfeathers gave away how much he trembled. He could feel how his palate had changed, how his teeth had begun to shift. A touch of magic earlier to say The Words was nothing compared to the magic needed for healing.

It took a few more deep breaths and a lot of concentration. Obviously it wasn’t his spell; using his own magic to force it to act as it should was like…well, he wasn’t sure how he could describe it.

He gritted his teeth against the pain. It was the worst kind of paradox: it hurt to use his magic and it hurt to force the feathers back beneath his skin. Using any more to ease the pain would only make the pain he couldn’t reach, the pain he couldn’t ease, intensify.

When he finally done, when his arms were once more smooth and his palate and mouth were back in human shape, he had tears streaming down his face and blood dripped down his chin from biting through his lip.

He checked the clock again.

04:14AM.

Sunrise would be coming in a few hours.

Hanzo sighed and slipped back into bed with Jesse who didn’t stir this time. He closed his eyes but didn’t sleep, listening to the steady drumming of Jesse’s heart and to the wave-like roars of his breath.

When the sun finally rose, Hanzo turned back into a swan, gritting his teeth against the pain. It was like waking up with a cramp, intense shooting pain like the seizing of a muscle. He was thankful that it was fast, lasting only a handful of seconds though lately it had been growing longer.

And it was becoming to grow even more painful.

Jesse shifted and curled his arm around Hanzo’s chest and sides as if subconsciously feeling his distress. Before he could think to resist the urge, he arched his neck over Jesse’s shoulder and ran his beak through Jesse’s hair.

He had repeated the motion a few more times, done it for a few minutes before his mind caught up. The swan brain was getting stronger. Despite his exhaustion the swan wanted to  _ go _ but Hanzo wanted to stay. (He supposed that it was a small blessing – very small – that the swan part of him still  _ liked _ Jesse. It would be supremely awkward if it didn’t and had woken Jesse with a bite to the nose.)

But these days it was getting harder and harder to tell the difference between the two.

Trembling (exhaustion, he told himself, not fear; not a bone-deep terror that one day he’ll forget everything he was, everything that was  _ Hanzo _ and only be some mindless beast) Hanzo settled down and tucked his head behind his wing.

* * *

Genji huffed. “Come on!” he said, almost yelling to be heard over the live band. “Why the long face?”

“Couldn’t we have gone somewhere quieter?” Jesse asked, toying with a fry. He was desperate for ketchup – just  _ plain ketchup _ – to eat it with, not the seemingly hundreds of fancy sauces lining the bar and condiment stands. The fries themselves were very good even if they were a bit outlandish for his tastes and far more expensive than what he would normally pay for a tray of fries.

Seeing Genji look confused and lean closer, Jesse sighed and repeated himself, nearly having to shout into his ear before Genji heard him.

“Oh, don’t be so boring!” Genji said with a bright laugh, lightly slapping Jesse’s shoulder.

“If we went somewhere quieter Hanzo could have come along,” Jesse pointed out.

Genji rolled his eyes and leaned into Jesse so he could be heard. “He’s always been such a stick in the mud. Always wanting to study, read his little books. He wouldn’t have gone out even if it was the quietest diner out there!”

“He went out with  _ me _ before,” Jesse muttered to himself and looked down at the fries in front of him. The burger that was placed in front of him was similarly over-priced and over-complicated with fancy aolis and sauces and herbed cheeses. So was the beer: fancy craft brews so hoppy that it made his mouth pucker, brews that had to be sipped and savored like one would expect from a wine tasting.

Genji groaned. “Oh. My. God. If you hang around him too much you’re going to become just as boring as he is!”

“What’s wrong with that?” Jesse demanded, sick of the crowd of people around them, of the too-loud music and the emptiness in the food. It felt too fake, all of it; what he wouldn’t give to have a quiet dinner in with Hanzo, just the two of them cooking and bumping their hips together and trading bites and kisses.

Turning, he found Genji staring at him like he grew two heads.

“Look,” Jesse growled. “Maybe this is your scene but it ain’t mine. I like a little noise and party every now and then but this?” he gestured to everyone around them, dressed in flannel and button-downs, everyone combining to become a rainbow and riot of colors of hair and nails and piercings and tattoos. “This is too much.” He looked mournfully down at the burger. It was  _ good _ but it was just… “This ain’t me. I’m not one for all the fancy stuff. I’m just a simple person. A little noise now and then is nice but I’ve come to appreciate the quiet.”

Jesse thought about the sad looks that Hanzo had taken to wearing whenever he saw Jesse and Genji together. Had he thought that Jesse was a loud one too? He wasn’t near as bright and gregarious as Genji but…

What he wouldn’t give right now to tangle with him in the sheets, on the couch. Not even for sex but just to listen to the quiet together. Or to lay on the docks, feel the gentle bob of the water and waves of the lake, or lay on the grass and stare up at the stars. They wouldn’t see that many, not with all of the light pollution in the area, but they could trace the shapes of clouds and watch the ethereal blinking of the fireflies.

He sighed and realized that Genji was staring at him with a peculiar look on his face. “You’re thinking of him, aren’t you,” Genji said quietly. “Of Hanzo.”

“Of course,” Jesse murmured, almost too quietly to hear himself.

Genji’s eyes flicked down to his lips and then back to Jesse’s face. “You think that it would have been better to stay in.” Jesse didn’t answer because it wasn’t necessarily  _ true _ but it wasn’t entirely wrong either. He sighed and rolled his eyes. “Look. Hanzo is like a cat, okay? You can’t just go loving a cat when they don’t want it. That’s not how cats work – they’re  _ assholes _ for one. They have their defined areas of comfort-”

“What’s so bad about that?” Jesse asked, clearly startling Genji. “To know your limits and not push them?”

“Because you don’t!” Genji snapped and they both fell silent. In the background, the live band announced another song to applause. “Look,” he said through gritted teeth. “Hanzo…Hanzo will try things and then decide that he doesn’t like it and leave you behind,” he told Jesse with the air of someone that had resigned themselves to their fate. “I’ve seen it before. He will get overwhelmed and give up and where will that leave you?”

They sat in silence as the band began their next song.

“Better for having tried and failed than to not have tried at all,” Jesse said softly. “You are not his knight in shining armor. You are not someone that needs to protect him – or should.”

Sighing, Jesse lifted the burger to his mouth and took a bite. He paid for it after all and it  _ was _ good…but not as good as sitting on the couch bumping shoulders and elbows with Hanzo. The takeout box next to him seemed too empty a measure and he sighed.

He could feel Genji’s eyes on him when he flagged down the bartender and asked for another take-out box and his tab.

“You love him, don’t you,” Genji said, an odd note like jealousy in his voice when the bartender had returned.

Jesse paused as he loaded fries and burger into the box. The bartender put a few packets of fancy ketchup and mustard on the table next to him and used them to weigh down his curled receipt.

“Don’t know if it’s love,” he said though he really wanted to just say  _ yes _ . “But it’s something like it. I’d like it to be, one day.” Genji was silent as he wiped his hands and packed away his dinner. He said nothing as Jesse signed for their meals with a flourish, giving the bartender an extra tip for having to deal with the cacophony. “Will you be alright?”

Genji nodded, an unreadable look on his face.

Gathering his bags, Jesse stepped out into the balmy summer air. The bar was close enough to the rescue and Jesse’s house that they could bike. Finding his among the others tangled around a single street sign, he mounted up and made for home.

It was late by the time he got back and he found Hanzo sleeping on the couch, slumped over as if he had been waiting for Jesse to return. Guilt burned low in his gut and he gently scooped Hanzo up in his arms.

“Hush,” he murmured into Hanzo’s hair when he stirred.

He felt Hanzo gently touch his chest. “You’re back,” he mumbled sleepily.

“Yeah,” Jesse said. “Brought you back a burger. You hungry?” Hanzo shook his head. “Tired?” Hanzo nodded. “Alright, off to bed with you.”

Hanzo made a sleepy noise of protest and Jesse smiled softly. Something fluttered, sweet and warm in his chest. “No,” Hanzo mumbled.

“Yes,” Jesse teased, breathing in the soft scent of shampoo –  _ his _ shampoo, evidence that Hanzo had taken a shower. He loved the look of Hanzo with his hair wet, watching the way it clung to his neck and back and chest and was sorry to have missed it.

Gently Jesse placed Hanzo on the bed only to have his arm caught as he tried to pull away. “No,” Hanzo mumbled drowsily. “Stay?”

Jesse pressed his nose to Hanzo’s knuckles. “Let me put the food away?” he asked even though his stomach rumbled. Hanzo hummed agreeably and Jesse rushed to do as he said.

By the time Jesse returned, Hanzo was deeply asleep and with a soft smile he returned to the kitchen. Standing at the counter, he ate his burger and fries before climbing in bed with Hanzo.

When he woke up the next morning, his bed was empty.

Not even a single swan feather remained.

* * *

Three days later, Hanzo watched the house from his perch.

These days it seemed that Jesse hardly ever visited him. These days Jesse seemed even more distant. It was Genji that fed him; there were other things to occupy Jesse’s attention. During the day he could never find Jesse and would give up to return to being poked and prodded with magic from Genji, and doused with foul-smelling potions and unguents. Nothing worked. 

And it seemed that he saw less and less of Jesse. 

He was terrified.

These days his mind felt less connected, as if his humanity hung by only a handful of fraying threads. It took him longer to transform now and it was infinitely more painful. At first it stung just a little, a pain that faded as quickly as his transformation did; now it was agonizing and lasted  _ minutes _ . It took him even longer to be able to move his newly transformed limbs, to gather his feet beneath him and stand, to be able to walk around as if everything was normal.

The magic was reaching him later and later, too. When once he transformed at sunset and sunrise, as soon as the great orb of the sun slipped beneath the horizon and its first light hit him, now it was moonrise. Now he could sit in his cage and watch the sunset while he waited for the new pain of transformation to come. Sometimes Jesse commented on it –  _ late today, huh sweetness? _ – but most of the time neither he nor Genji said anything. Most of the time they just ignored him as he came and went.

Hanzo was surprised at how much it hurt.

And he wasn’t talking about the curse.

It was always like this; he wasn’t sure why he thought it would be any different.

Hanzo wasn’t like Genji; he never would be. He would never be  _ interesting _ ; he would never be  _ enough _ . As always Genji would eventually swoop in, the little brother that always wanted to play with his toys and steal them away.

_ You’re brothers _ , their parents would always tell Hanzo when a young Genji would take his toys or dresses or any of his pretty things and destroy them as he enjoyed himself.  _ You’re family. You need to learn to share _ .

Genji had always been the favorite and Hanzo had just…never been enough. He was the  _ heir _ , at first a disappointment. But he was nothing if not tenacious and earned his place,  _ earned _ his training.

All Genji had to do was show up.

_ This is Hanzo’s brother? If he is near as skilled as Hanzo, then he will accomplish great things! _

And that was that. Genji had swooped in and stole the attention of Hanzo’s tutors. They didn’t care if Genji showed up to barely half of their classes. They didn’t care if he failed any of his spells. Hanzo’s tutors would praise Genji and in the same breath berate Hanzo for his selfishness.

It was so with Hanzo’s so very few friends. He was not Genji and when they met his happy, gregarious younger brother they all learned how plain and drab Hanzo was and they drifted apart.

Hanzo was the heir but Genji was and always would be the favorite.

He had grown used to it by now, to watching everything he loved turn against him merely by exposure to his brother’s presence but somehow he was still surprised at how much it hurt.

Jesse…well, he had so foolishly hoped that Jesse would be different. Hanzo swallowed thickly. Who would want a cursed swan-man? Perhaps once upon a time Jesse had but then the novelty wore off and Genji, as always, was somehow always there to sweep him off his feet.

He still remembered all of the sweet words that Jesse said to him. The feel of his touch and his kisses, the way he felt in Hanzo’s arms and being held in Jesse’s. He still remembers…

Of course he still remembers. It is a memory that will stay with him forever, a twisting stab of pain every time he thinks of Jesse.

Hanzo poked his head over the edge of his perch and looked down as Jesse leaned against the walls of his enclosure. “Hey,” Jesse said with a smile. “Genji and I are heading out. Want me to pick you up anything?”

There was no comment about how late it was; that the sun had already set and Hanzo was still a swan. Hanzo shook his head.

“Okay,” Jesse said brightly. “See you later?”

Unable to respond in any other way, Hanzo bobbed his head in a nod.

Jesse blew a kiss at him but the motion felt hollow. “We’ll be back really late,” he said as he turned away. “Don’t wait up.”

Even if Hanzo had anything to say, he couldn’t say it and so he watched with his dim swan eyes as Jesse disappeared into the night. It was a good thing because not five minutes later the curse hit him and he groaned as pain tore through him.

The transformation could have taken seconds, minutes, even hours but Hanzo couldn’t tell. When the last sad trickles of magic left him he lay in his perch, his legs dropping over the edge and a fake knot of “wood” digging into his back. It took him a few minutes to catch his breath enough to shakily pull on some clothes.

It took him even longer to gather the strength to walk down.

He shuffled into Jesse’s house and found a note on the refrigerator:  _ Got you a burger ~JM _

When he opened the refrigerator and found the takeout box, he found that it was gone except for three fries and two bites of the burger left. Genji, of course.

He threw the food away, no longer hungry, and shuffled back outside to the docks.

The docks bobbed as he sat down at the edge, dipping his legs into the water. Summoning his magic, he let it drop into the water in front of him and ignored the way it twisted his skin and ached down to his bones. An image formed: Jesse slung an arm around Genji’s shoulders and Genji curled his arm around Jesse’s waist.

Ripples broke the surface of the image and Hanzo realized that it was a tear.

Hanzo let his magic fade. He had too little left; it wasn’t replenishing the way it should.

It was easy enough to do little things. Heal Jesse’s scratches. Clean them both off after a night of-…well, it was best not to think of that or the way even the tiniest hint of a thought of  _ that _ affected Hanzo.

He had never been good at breaking curses; that was Genji. Clever, clever Genji. It was aptitude and Hanzo had never been one for counter-curses.

Taking a shaky breath, Hanzo looked inside himself at the curse. It wrapped like spider webs around him, around his soul and his human heart, and his magic. It bound his familiars so that they wouldn’t know him even if he gathered the strength to summon them.

All that he was – his soul, his mind, his heart – was nearly covered by the curse. The academic in him was curious what might happen when it had overtaken him completely; that same part of him already knew though, that he would lose his humanity completely.

He would lose his magic.

He would lose his human form.

He would be a swan, forever, without even the comfort (or torment) of a human mind.

He would just be an animal; he would be a swan.

As he released his magic and returned to his skin, Hanzo took a shuddery breath and realized that another tear was making its molten way down his cheek. He was running out of time and Genji…

Well, Genji was happy and that was the important thing. Genji would no longer have to deal with his emotional cripple of a brother; and he could have Jesse all to himself.

Hanzo took a shaky breath. It was hollow consolation but at least he had that. He took another breath as a third tear slipped past his defenses.

Jesse could be happy with someone like Genji. They would fit well together, like matching bookends; he wouldn’t be chained, just as Genji was, by a recluse like Hanzo.

The water of the lake rippled and Hanzo turned. It rippled again, heaved as if something moved beneath it.

Something slick and burning of magic wrapped around Hanzo’s ankle. Before he could react, before he could even open his mouth to yell, he was yanked under the dark waters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternative title: Things Fall Apart.
> 
> Feel free to yell at me here or on my tumblr at [Classywastelandbread](https://classywastelandbread.tumblr.com/). 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has followed along with this and left comments and kudos. Your support and kind words are very much appreciated. And how do I thank you? I give you this hot mess.
> 
> But for realsies, I really do appreciate all of the comments and kudos. I'm glad to know that people are somehow enjoying this dumpster fire. 
> 
> ~DC


	10. Watered Heaven With Their Tears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
> Animal death (not explicit)   
> Blood (not explicit)  
> Feelings  
> Implied character death

“You  _ could have _ stayed behind,” Jesse growled for what felt like the fiftieth time. He and Genji had been about to go out to dinner as per usual when Ana called them to deal with an emergency case with local animal control. 

Genji groaned. “I  _ know _ ,” he grumbled. “But I didn’t know it would be  _ this boring _ .”

When he opened his mouth again Jesse snarled, “Just can it, will ya?”

The cab was silent for a good five minutes before Genji said, “You’re  _ bitchy _ when you don’t get laid.”

“If both hands weren’t needed on the wheel I’d deck you,” Jesse informed Genji. “I…”

Genji rolled his eyes and tipped his seat so that he was leaning as far back as the cramped cab would allow. “I know, I know,” he said dismissively but lifted his head as the truck’s rumble changed pitch. “What’s wrong?” he asked when he saw the look on Jesse’s face as he peered out the windshield.

The passenger-side seat rattled when Genji popped it back up but it was background noise as Jesse eyed the line of police cars parked along the side of the road leading to the shelter. An officer waved him down and Jesse stopped the truck, rolling down the window and peering out at her.

“What happened?” he asked.

The officer eyed him and then the insignia of the rescue on the side of his truck. “Vandals,” she said simply. “If you’re not needed here I suggest you leave.”

“I live down this road,” Jesse told the officer, hardly aware of doing so. “Regardless, I need to be here.”

The officer nodded and waved him on. As soon as they turned the bend and were out of sight of the officers for a moment, Genji began clawing at his seatbelt. “I’m going to take a look around,” he said to Jesse. “Something’s not right.”

He didn’t ask Jesse to stop but Jesse didn’t think he could if he had. Genji climbed out the window and disappeared into the trees, the green glow of his magic illuminating the trees for a moment before it disappeared.

There were more cars parked in front of the rescue and groups of police officers lingering around. Someone broke off of their group as he slid the truck into park and turned off the engine. As she approached Jesse realized that it was Ana and the bluish shadow behind her was her daughter.

“I was hoping that you wouldn’t come home to this,” Ana murmured and drew him into her arms.

“What happened?” Jesse asked. He could see broken windows in the education center and the clinic. The air was eerily quiet and far too still.

Officer Amari shook her head. “Vandals,” she said as grimly as the first officer that had spoken to Jesse. “Broke into a lot of the buildings.” She closed her mouth quickly as if she had wanted to say more.

“The animals?” Jesse asked in a small voice.

Ana shook her head. “A few of them are hurt,” she said softy. “Some are dead.”

Swallowing hard, Jesse nodded. He was glad that Ana held on to him; he could feel himself trembling, could feel the way the Burger King he and Genji had snagged at a rest stop churned in his stomach as it sank like lead.

“What…” he licked his dry lips, trying to think of procedure and their list of animals and the vet on duty. “How long ago?”

“A few hours,” Officer Amari said briskly though the corners of her mouth were downturned more than usual. “We received a call from the alarm company and a few officers responded. They said that they chased off a few people – ran off into the woods.” She pointed as if that detail was of any importance to Jesse. “They called for backup and then called Ana when they saw the animals.”

Nodding numbly, Jesse looked over the complex. The shattered glass reflected the lights from the patrol cars, casting a surreal, magical sort of haze over everything.

Ana may have said something but Jesse couldn’t hear her over the rush of blood in his ears. 

Magic.

_ Hanzo _ .

“Hanzo?” he asked Ana sharply, gripping her arm. He licked his lips. “What did the vandals hit?”

Pursing her lips, Ana shook her head. “We don’t know,” she said softly. “We only just finished cleaning out the clinic.”

“I will go with you,” Officer Amari said when he opened his mouth. “At this time we don’t know that everyone is gone and your house is a good hiding place.”

He wasn’t aware of turning away, of making his way down the dirt road. Later over too many drinks stacked in neat rows on his coffee table Fareeha would tell him that he was eerily quiet and walked as if in a dream. Shock, she would gently suggest. Even fear. She’d tell him that she was afraid to speak, afraid that any word would shake that tenuous feeling of calm that had enveloped him. He needed to keep his head for just a moment longer because the animals would need him.

They found his house untouched but Officer Amari insisted that she check around the back and sides while he waited impatiently, making sure that all of the doors and windows were secure and bolted. It wouldn’t mean much until she can get another officer to back her up, but it would do for the moment.

There was something odd in her eyes and face when she came back around and the words had scarcely been out of her mouth when Jesse shoved past her.

As the sun rose, Jess burst into the backyard and stared. It was filled with feathers.

White feathers.

The door to Hanzo’s old enclosure lay open and there was a lump on the dock.

Jesse swallowed. He walked numbly across the yard, through the light dusting of feathers that fluttered around his ankles like snow in the middle of summer. The dock bobbed beneath him as he stepped on it, approaching the lump carefully.

_ He’s injured _ , he thought to himself even though he knew better. The dock was stained and slick with sticky red. There were more feathers here, stuck in the drying puddles.  _ I need to walk carefully to not startle him _ .

There was so much blood.

Carefully he knelt and stroked the swan’s back and rested his palm there. It didn’t move; there was no breath, no heartbeat that fluttered against his hand.

With a strangled sound Jesse slipped his hands under the swan, shuddering when he encountered a wet path of blood. He gently cradled Hanzo’s limp body against his chest, uncaring of how the blood soaked into his shirt, and cried.

* * *

Another officer showed up and with him Officer Amari swept his house and deemed it clear. Ana gently separated him from Hanzo’s body and drew him into his house, making him tea and forcing him to take a shower and lay down.

When he woke up sometime around mid-morning, Ana was still there but so was Genji. They spoke to each other in quiet tones, their faces grim.

He felt a weight on his legs and excited that it was just a horrific dream he sat up quickly only to find that the weight on his legs was a strange sort of coiled serpent. With a broken sob, Jesse fell back against the pillows of his couch.

Ana propped him up again and gave him a mug of tea. He managed to drink it all before he fell into a deep dreamless sleep once more.

The next time he woke up it was just him and Genji…and the strange serpentine creature that lay draped around Genji’s neck. Seeing him, the creature disappeared, sinking beneath Genji’s skin. Lifting his head up, Genji peered with a strange kind of sobriety at Jesse. “The world is less complicated through his eyes,” he said softly though Jesse didn’t ask. “And he doesn’t tell me that I should have tried harder.”

Jesse swallowed but the lump in his throat and chest wouldn’t go away. “I’m sorry,” he croaked out. 

Looking away, Genji took a deep, shaky breath. He gave Jesse a foul-smelling mug of tea and used to Ana’s concoctions, Jesse drank it. Lying back, he closed his eyes and fell asleep again. 

In his dreams Hanzo was there. He never wanted to wake up again. 

The next time Jesse woke up the sun had set and the moon was high in the sky, its silvery light shining through the windows. Genji slept curled up in the armchair and his glowing snake thing curled up on him like a spoiled cat. His outdoor lights cast an ugly yellow glow on everything.

It hurt to move but Jesse forced himself to his feet. Genji’s weird glowing snake watched him and then drifted through the air after him, moving side-to-side like a lizard. Or perhaps a strange sort of crocodile as up close to it Jesse could see the short little legs that were pressed against its sides as it “swam” toward him.

Genji didn’t stir from his curled-up position in the armchair and when Jesse held up a finger to his lips, the glowing snake-thing paused in midair and nodded. Unsure of what to make of that, Jesse walked into the kitchen.

A hand of bananas hung from a hook and tiered metal baskets that definitely hadn’t been there a few days ago held tomatoes, onions, garlic, and bunches of dried herbs. There was a cutting board on the counter and a knife forgotten beside it, both smeared with bits of chopped something-or-other that had long since dried. On the counter against the wall a small leather purse lay open, the inside filled with small little squares separating it into a dozen little compartments that were in turn filled with glass jars marked with black characters that reminded Jesse of Arabic.

He moved the cutting board into the sink to soak and opened the refrigerator as Genji’s snake-thing landed on the counter. It coiled its tail like a snake as if to save space, and watched him with interest.

There was fruit – there was always fruit in his refrigerator for Hanzo – and the thought made his throat close up. Swallowing hard and blinking back tears, Jesse dug around further. He wasn’t particularly hungry but the itch to move, to  _ do something _ , was too hard to ignore.

He began yanking out things from the refrigerator. A quart of milk that had been left open and had expired. Genji’s doing, as neither Jesse nor Hanzo really drank milk. Steaks that had been buried in the back by the cans of craft beer that Genji had bought that were old enough for it to turn a rainbow of dangerous colors. Mostly-empty takeout boxes that had been eaten except for a few bites.

Opening the crisper drawer he found yet another graveyard. Hearing a rumbling noise, Jesse turned and saw that the snake-thing was dragging the trash can over and went to help. The thing butted its head against his cheek and returned to its spot on the counter to watch.

Jesse pulled out soggy apples and lettuce, holding his breath against the smell of rotting things. He had reached for a bundle of some kind of herb that once upon a time could have been parsley or cilantro or something else entirely. Curiosity getting the better of him he bent to read the words on the blue tie around it and stopped.

Standing fast enough that he became light-headed, he slapped at his pockets then ran back into the living room. His phone was on the table but picking it up, he found that it was dead.

As if sensing his urgency, the snake-thing drifted through the air after him, twisting and spinning midair like a swimming otter. “I need a phone,” he told it.

The snake-thing (perhaps a dragon? Jesse didn’t want to think too deeply about it) tossed its head and arced through the air toward Genji. It scrambled into his hoodie, slapping his face with its tail, and emerged with Genji’s phone clasped in its little claws.

Genji’s lock screen picture was him and what Jesse assumed was a young Hanzo dressed in colorful  _ kimono _ s. Both held weird little flags in the shape of fish with bulbous eyes. Hanzo’s was blue and white; Genji’s was green.

Swallowing hard Jesse swiped it open, somewhat surprised that Genji didn’t have a lock on it, and typed in the number he knew by heart.

Ana answered on the second ring and not hearing what she said at first, Jesse blurted, “Ana! Do you still have the swan?”

“Habibi,” Ana said gently over the phone. “ _ I- _ ”

“No,” Jesse interrupted. “Hear me out. Just…do you still have him?”

There was a long pause. “ _ Yes _ ,” Ana said at last.

Jesse licked his lips. “What does his tag say?”

“Jesse,” Genji said softly and Jesse held up a hand to stop him. The snake-maybe-dragon twisted in the air in front of him, making dizzying loops and turns and twists like a kite in gusts of wind.

Gritting his teeth, Jesse said into the silence, “We tagged him, remember? Last month. You joked that we should change the tag to say ‘Han the Swan’ when he started following me around. And we talked about microchipping him.”

There was a rustling over the phone. “ _ If he kept transforming then I doubt it would have stayed, _ ” Ana said softly but it sounded like a halfhearted excuse at best.

“No, I remember seeing it,” Jesse insisted. “It stayed with him.”

More rustling over the phone. Genji sat up. “I remember that,” he said. “Her magic in the band kept messing with my spells.”

Jesse swallowed. “What magic?”

“ _ Basic protection _ ,” Ana said. “Habibi, _ put me on speaker phone. _ ” She paused until Jesse told her that he did. “ _ Basic protection in case he decided to run away – just so that a dog wouldn’t get him or something. A locator spell so we could find him again if he was injured. _ ”

Genji turned to Jesse. “So what are you saying?”

“ _ It looked like a dog got to him _ ,” Ana said and there was the sound of more rustling plastic – most likely the biohazard bags they were using for the dead animals. Jesse didn’t like the idea of Hanzo’s body being stuck in a glorified plastic bag and if  _ he _ didn’t like it he wasn’t sure how Genji would react so he said nothing. He wondered why Ana was still at the clinic so late at night. “ _ Poor thing. _ ” More rustling and then everything was silent. “ _ This is…this is a completely different bird. _ ”

Jesse swallowed. “So…”

“ _ She has a scar on her beak and it looks like she may have been blind in one eye, _ ” Ana continued. “ _ And no band on her leg. It looks like the poor lady was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. _ ”

Leaping to his feet, Genji shot out the back door. “Thanks, Ana,” Jesse said hurriedly and hung up, shoving the phone into his pocket.

His backyard had been cleaned at some point though he could still see a few bits of down clinging stubbornly to the grass. Genji was already at the dock, green fire in his hands. The dragon swirled over his head excitedly before sinking into his skin; the fire in his hands grew brighter.

As Jesse ran over, he saw a ghostly figure appear in the enclosure and stopped. Hanzo, recreated in transparent green mist, laboriously pushed the door to the enclosure open. He stopped to watch Hanzo walk into the house and followed. The ghostly form touched the note Jesse had left him and opened the refrigerator, taking out something that Jesse couldn’t see. Whatever it was disappointed Hanzo and he threw it away, walking back out the door.

“It’s late,” Genji whispered to Jesse, having walked back off the dock. The dragon was back, twined like a scarf around his neck. “This was almost an hour after we left. Why is he only moving around now?”

Jesse shook his head. “He was still a swan when we left,” he whispered.

“So late…” Genji muttered. “Why so late?”

They watched the ghostly form of Hanzo’s human shape walk, head held low, to the dock. His arms were crossed over his chest, his fingers digging into his elbows. Hanzo knelt on the docks and they cautiously followed as he sat at the edge, slipping his feet into the water. The form created by Genji’s magic (and Jesse instinctively knew this despite not having seen the brothers do much magic in front of him) had a band around one leg near his knee that shone nearly-white with strange flowing script.

Genji pointed to the band that Jesse had never seen on Hanzo's human form. “Ana’s magic,” he whispered.

Hands held out, the ghost of Hanzo did…something and a disc of light appeared on the surface of the lake. In it, an image formed and the dragon swirled over the patch of water it appeared in.

“Midori says that he was looking at us,” Genji whispered. “When we were walking to the truck after the diner.” Jesse had yanked Genji close by his shoulders and then shifted his grip so he held him in a choke hold while he threatened to kill Genji himself if he ruined the job that Jesse was being called out for.

Hanzo’s image seemed to crumple in on himself and the disc of light on the water rippled. Jesse reached out, instinctively wanting to draw Hanzo into a hug, into some form of comfort but his hand only passed through the image as if it wasn’t there.

The image on the lake disappeared as Hanzo buried his face in his hands and Jesse shared a heartbroken look with Genji. In front of them, the dragon spirit twisted and spun, clearly agitated, before darting back to Genji where it disappeared.

Genji looked at Jesse, his eyes wide and his hand held to his chest where the dragon had disappeared. “I’d never seen it do that,” he whispered.

The ghost of Hanzo looked up and to the side over the water of the lake. “What is he looking at?” Jesse whispered.

Putting his hand in the water, Genji let out more light which spread like dye in the water until the water around them glowed green. It bounced and heaved as if something large moved beneath the surface. They watched Hanzo’s eyes and head track the movement, his legs lifting slowly – too slowly.

They watched his back stiffen, his eyes widen; one of his legs jerked as if it had touched something unexpected. His mouth opened as if to scream and then he was gone, yanked into the water. The waters heaved and rolled again and then fell still.

As if a switch had been flipped, the green light was gone.

“What happened after that?” Jesse demanded.

Genji visibly swallowed. “Whatever it was, Hanzo wasn’t here for it,” he said. He jabbed a finger at the water. “That was a spell I did tied directly to him – whatever happened  _ to him _ . It ended when he left.”

“Where did he go?” Jesse asked, peering over the edge of the dock into the murky waters. Was he still down there? He almost didn’t want to ask.

In the reflection of the lake, Jesse could see Genji lean over as well. “He isn’t anywhere near us,” he said softly. “I have no idea where he might be.”

Jesse turned to look at Genji who was biting his lip. “Can you…I don’t know, track him? Find him somehow?”

He wanted to ask,  _ demand _ , answers but held himself back as Genji chewed on his lip thoughtfully. “Tracking was never my strong suit,” he admitted. “That was always Hanzo. I never paid attention enough.” He stood and walked to the edge of the lake, motioning for Jesse to follow. “It’s easier this way,” he said cryptically, putting his jean-clad knees in the lake mud as he knelt at the shore. He touched both palms to the water and spread them.

An image formed slowly, like watching a time lapse of someone drawing.

“I’m hoping you would recognize something,” Genji said apologetically, voice a little shaky. “I always thought…well, if we were hunting anyone down I had always made Hanzo do the tracking. I had always told him that I had never really  _ needed _ to know. Just…because he’d always be there,” he added in a small voice.

Tall dunes rose in the image and color slowly leached into it. The light of the moon turned them into shades of purple and blue and orange.

A void appeared in the middle, trailing off outside the “frame” that Genji’s magic formed; a moment later it filled in and color bloomed to turn it into the shores of a lagoon. A low table formed; it was covered in shallow bowls. Polished wooden figures held sticks of still-burning incense.

Behind the table Hanzo appeared, an oversized  _ kimono _ decorated with cranes draped over his shoulders. His hair was clumped as if it was still slowly drying and sand clung to his skin.

He said something, his chin tipping back like a lord addressing a servant.

“What is he saying?” Jesse whispered.

Genji shook his head, tugging at his lip. “I…I  _ can _ make us hear him…I  _ think _ .” He looked embarrassed. “I didn’t pay attention to those classes. I didn’t think…” He looked away. “Hanzo had always been there to help me,” he added in a soft voice.

Leaning over, Jesse squeezed Genji’s shoulder. It seemed that they had both taken Hanzo for granted. “Can you try?” he asked as gently as he was able to.

“I can,” Genji agreed a little severely. “But…we need to be quiet. Very quiet. I…I don’t know if it would be a two-way connection.”

Jesse nodded slowly. “So they could hear us.”

Genji gestured to the image of Hanzo on the water. His lips were moving again. “He’s clearly talking to someone that I can’t see right now. That person probably…that was probably what had taken him.” He licked his lips and the dragon coiled tightly around his neck. “We need to be quiet,” he said firmly.

“Quiet as a mouse,” Jesse promised.

Nodding, Genji touched the water with both hands again. When he pulled them away, he pressed a finger to his lips in reminder. Jesse nodded.

“ _ -your brother, _ ” a man’s voice was saying. Jesse didn’t recognize the accent but he knew the tone. It was the oily kind of tone someone used to get what they wanted. “ _ You know how he likes to build his tall tales. _ ”

Hanzo smiled thinly. “ _ So you wished to see if it was true, _ ” he said in a tone of voice to match his razor smile. “ _ And now you know. _ ”

“ _ And now I know, _ ” the man agreed. “ _ Now I see…the proud, the mighty Hanzo Shimada... _ _ brought low by a child’s curse. _ ”  Jesse looked at Genji who pressed a finger to his lips. “ _ Unable to break it. Tell me, why can’t your brother do so? Or was it too challenging of a prospect for him?” _

_ Do you know him? _ Jesse mouthed.

Genji nodded.  _ Ogundimu _ , he mouthed back.  _ Akande _ .

“ _ Well that’s exactly what you would expect from him _ ,” Akande continued. “ _ What good is aptitude if you don’t have the knowledge to back it up? He could have been great but still he pretends to fiddle with magic and uses it to pursue his own selfish, hedonistic ends. _ ” He sounded falsely contrite and mockingly regretful. “ _ And you, my dear Hanzo. You just let him play around, let him make his attempts to save you while slowly you grew worse. Why would you when you could just ask me and I could have ended your suffering in- _ ” he snapped his fingers, the sound sharp as a whip in the  early morning  silence, “- _ just a moment?” _

Hanzo’s lips twisted into a sneer. “ _ Because I know you, Akande _ ,” he said, spitting the man’s name like an expletive. “ _ I know you’d demand a price I wasn’t willing to pay _ .”

“ _ It is a simple price _ ,” Akande said, sounding very reasonable though Jesse very much doubted his words.  _ “You give me a dragon familiar – your proud family’s legacy – and I will break the curse for you. Give me your word – and a dragon – and you shall be human again.” _

Jesse turned and found that Genji’s face had twisted into a mask of rage. Seeing him looking Genji mouthed,  _ traditional marriage _ . Stomach rolling, Jesse looked away, back at the image that had formed on the surface of the lake.

“ _ I’ve said before and I’ll say again, Akande, _ ” Hanzo spat.

Out of the corner of his eye, Jesse saw Genji mouth  _ again? _ An incredulous look was on his face and suddenly the pieces fell together for Jesse. The price was too steep for Hanzo – it would mean sacrificing his freedom, his identity, more than nightly transformations did.

And if it was as… _ traditional _ as Jesse thought it might be, it would mean that Hanzo would need to provide an heir.

Not to mention these dragons that they spoke of. Jesse wondered if they were literal – living, breathing dragons – or if they were metaphorical, or perhaps simply an object like a small statue. A family heirloom, Akande had said…that meant that Genji may have one as well. Perhaps it was the glowing green creature that followed him around. 

But now was not the time to ask so he said nothing, his knees sinking into the mud of the lakeshore.

“ _ You will  _ never _ have a dragon _ ,” Hanzo continued, unaware of his audience and Jesse’s musings. “ _I shall see to it that you never shall_.”

Akande sighed. “ _ Now Hanzo _ ,” he said patronizingly. “ _ Don’t you see that this is your only chance? Can’t you feel the curse closing in on you? Degrading? How long do you think you have until you are stuck as a mere beast forever? _ ” he chuckled but it wasn’t a nice sound. “ _ And let us not delude ourselves, lovely. You would not even have the mercy or curse of a human mind; it would be as if you had died.” _

Hanzo’s face twisted into a sneer as Jesse’s heart fell into his stomach. “ _ Better I die than give you a dragon.” _

“ _ Is it though _ ?”Akande asked, his voice still heavy with that mocking tone. It made Jesse want to punch him. Not that he didn’t already feel that itch, but it was just another nail in the coffin.

Jesse remembered Hanzo’s words:  _ he seeks power _ . Whatever these dragons were, Jesse knew deep down that to Hanzo a life as a swan – and therefore death as a human – was worth it. It was something he could feel in his bones and his stomach churned.

“ _ Or perhaps I just haven’t made the right offer _ .” The shape that was Akande shifted and came into the frame of Genji’s vision spell.

He was a dark-skinned man, which matched his strong accent and what Hanzo had already told Jesse, and wore blue and white paint on his face. His pants were modern, a pair of neat khakis with a pair of leather boat shoes in the sand next to his bare feet. Akande was shirtless and a pastel shirt (its real colors distorted by the unreliable light of the moon) lay folded beside his shoes. Intricate paintings in cobalt and white decorated his right arm, the lines and shapes reminding Jesse of a circuit board – like the tattoos that Liv had in her undercut and along the back of her skull.

Then Akande turned and stared  _ right at them _ through the portal. His smile was a slash of white like a blade against his dark skin. Blue and silver light glowed around his right arm as he reached  _ through the portal _ .

What came through seemed larger than life, large enough that it looked like Akande could wrap his hand around McCree’s waist. Yelling, he leaned back as the arm continued to reach toward him.

Just short of touching him, the hand spasmed and Akande cried out in pain, blue light crackling like lightning. By the time that Jesse blinked the spots out of his eyes, Jesse found that Hanzo had gotten to his feet though it clearly pained him to do so and now stood between the portal and Akande. Akande’s nice khakis were singed and ragged and steam rose from his skin; burst capillaries glittered wetly along his bare skin like spiderwebs.

Hanzo seemed pale, his lips thin as he stared through the portal. The  _ kimono _ still stubbornly clinging to him was singed as well, a few spots still glowing with embers while his entire left sleeve was missing. Blood dripped from his nose and blue lightning flowers traced patterns over and around his neck and jaw with more twining around his arm like a snake.

“Sweetness,” Jesse breathed.

Slowly Hanzo knelt. “ _ Jess _ ,” he said softly.

Jesse could hear Akande roar, “You fool!”

“ _ Jess, _ ” Hanzo said softly again. A pinpoint of bright blue light glowed in his pupils and in the hearts of the lightning flowers on his skin.

Behind him, Akande scrambled to his feet. “Brother!” Genji cried.

“ _ You fool, _ ” Akande screamed. “ _ The more magic you use the faster your curse decays! _ ”

Hanzo blinked, lightning glittering on his eyelashes. At first Jesse thought that his skin was pale and sickly but now he saw that feathers were forming like lines drawn on his skin. Beside him, Genji groaned.

“ _ You  _ will _ give me a dragon, _ ” Akande hissed. Blue and silver light glowed around his right arm. “ _ And I  _ shall _ break your curse. And should you do this for me, I shall spare their miserable lives; if not I shall make you watch as _ -”

The feathers on Hanzo’s skin began peeling away like birch bark. “ _ I love you, Jess, _ ” he whispered and drew his hand across the portal. Water rippled in his wake, breaking up the image.

“No!” Genji cried and no amount of green fire that he poured into the lake’s surface brought the image back. He turned to Jesse, his face and eyes wild. “We need to find him.”

Jesse nodded mutely. “I’ll…I’ll get the truck.” Running into his house, he froze when he saw Ana and her big husband Reinhardt. One of Reinhardt’s students, a red-headed woman whose name Jesse hadn’t yet learned, stood beside them with a circular device on her arm. Liv herself was draped dramatically over the couch and waved her fingers when she saw him.

“I have a bone to pick with Akande,” Ana told him when he froze in the doorway. “And  _ these two idiots _ wouldn’t let me go alone.” She stood with a grunt. “Come on, time’s wasting.”

Jesse was suspicious when Genji didn’t react when he found the loaded truck up front – Reinhardt and his student sat in the back with Liv and Jesse and Genji sat in the cab with Ana who drove – but he did seem rather out of it.

“Ana’s an alchemist,” Reinhardt’s student, who had introduced herself as Brigitte, told him. She had to nearly shout to be heard over the wind. “Reinhardt and I just do…pest control.”

Liv fussed with her hair, which was whipping around in all directions. Seeing him looking at her, she smirked. “I’m just along for the ride.” 

The window to the cab opened and Genji peered out. “Ana says that they’re at the quarry.” 

Jesse squinted. “That’s fifteen minutes away! Twenty, maybe.” 

Genji’s face pinched. He closed the window and Liv squeezed Jesse’s hand. No one said anything else for the rest of the trip. 

Somehow they didn’t get caught when driving up to the quarry or over the bridge leading to the sand pits. In the distance Jesse could see the dark shapes of the dunes forming smears of purple shadows against the indigo jaws of the trees behind them. 

Only Liv’s grip on his wrist kept him from bolting but even that was a near thing. 

“Darling?” Ana asked, adjusting her scarf. 

Laughing, Reinhardt lifted an arm and a large blue shield, large enough to shield all of them, shimmered into existence. The wooden bridge creaked and groaned as they crossed and Jesse found himself gripping Liv back. It kept him from breaking free of her, kept him from shoving past the overlapped shields of glowing blue light that Brigitte and Reinhardt held aloft.

Even Genji seemed antsy. “I’m not sensing anyone,” Genji said, bouncing on the balls of his toes.

“That is one of Akande’s favorite tricks to play,” Ana said disgustedly. “He’s learned bad habits.”

Reinhardt lifted his head to look at her over his shoulder. “It’s not your fault,” he said gently.

“But he  _ is _ my responsibility,” Ana replied grimly. “And I take that seriously.” Hilariously, at least to Jesse, she carried her tranq rifle but held it like a seasoned soldier. Then again he didn’t really know much of her past so she could be.

They crossed the bridge and came across the strange orange and yellow sand on the other side. “I thought this was a quarry?” Liv asked, wrinkling her nose.

“That’s a bit misleading,” Jesse replied, if only to keep himself from yanking free and running around to look for Hanzo. “It’s more of a sand pit.” He pointed to the dark waters of small pits they could see. “But groundwater comes up over there. Careful of the water, it’s very cold. I know of people that’s fallen into the water and drowned before they could get out.”

Everyone stopped and looked at him. “What?” Genji snapped.

“It’s so cold their muscles seize,” Brigitte explained, much to Jesse’s relief. “They have trouble breathing and they lose feeling in their extremities. In certain cases I’m sure they could get frostbite as well or have circulation issues, especially if their health is poor.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Liv asked in a small voice.

Ana and Reinhardt exchanged glances. “Hopefully not,” Ana said bluntly. “But Akande has some experience in necromancy and I’m already worried about the sand.”

They continued forward, moving slower this time. It grated on Jesse’s nerves. Genji’s spirit creature drifted above his head, gliding down to run its talons along his hair as if reassuring itself and Genji of its presence. Given the discussion they had heard of Akande’s demand for a dragon, Jesse didn’t blame either of them.

Brigitte lifted her nose. “Do you smell something?” 

“Like what?” Reinhardt asked sniffing the air as well.

Liv wrinkled her nose, lifting a hand to pinch it shut. “Smells like burning.” 

“Hanzo!” Genji yelled, pushing past them before anyone could catch him. 

Ana lifted her rifle smoothly and fired. “Go,” she said shortly to Jesse who tore out of Liv’s grasp and sprinted after Genji. Genji’s dragon had grown to enormous size and was now coiled in the air over his shoulders like a glowing green bandolier. 

Around the bend was a crumpled shape at the edge of a large lake. There was an overturned table, the various bottles and flasks and cordials that had been on it in Genji’s vision overturned and shattered. 

To the side was a small white lump and Jesse carefully approached. A dart protruded from its feathers. 

Despite the moon high in the sky, Hanzo was a swan. 

* * *

The tranquilizer lasted until they were back at Jesse’s house. 

Jesse held Hanzo gently as he carried him inside, looping an arm around his back and wings while the other arm held him by the neck. He nearly dropped Hanzo when he began flailing, struggling mightily to free himself. 

“Easy there,” Jesse said and nearly dropped Hanzo in shock when he hissed angrily. Hanzo didn’t stop, flailing and twisting in a panic despite his reassurances and that of Genji’s, who came to help him.

He wouldn’t calm and continued to hiss balefully until Brigitte pulled out a strand of her hair and tied it around Hanzo’s neck. Immediately Hanzo fell still as if drugged, enough that Jesse and Genji could put him down on the coffee table. 

“I don’t like the look of this,” Ana said grimly, rubbing at the skin beneath her eye patch. 

Genji swallowed and wrung his hands. “It’s not too late, is it?” 

Jesse said nothing, gently tucking Hanzo’s big wings in so that they weren’t stretched all over the place. He carded his fingers gently through them to settle the feathers. Reinhardt sat beside him, watching him groom the swan without comment. 

They both watched quietly as Ana did something and then Genji cast a green glow over the swan. “What will you do?” Brigitte asked him some undetermined time later. 

Looking around, Jesse found that Genji sat heavily in the armchair with his head in his hands. The green dragon was coiled around him, its head buried in his shirt. Liv was curled up on one side of the couch, a pillow held over her head. He couldn’t see Ana or Reinhardt but he saw that the light to the kitchen was on. 

“Was I out of it?” Jesse asked, lifting a hand to his forehead. 

Brigitte nodded. “We all are,” she admitted. “It’s almost sunrise.” 

Swallowing hard and not even trusting himself to speak coherently, Jesse looked back at the swan who continued to lay in a limp heap on the coffee table. Sighing, Jesse began gathering him in his arms. “Get the door for me?” he asked Brigitte. 

“What are you doing?” Ana asked as he carried the swan past the kitchen.

“Sun’s coming up soon,” Jesse said as Brigitte opened the back door. 

Ana approached slowly like he was a wild animal. “ _ Habibi _ -” she began. 

“I know,” Jesse said. They all followed him out. “Have you told Genji yet?” 

Reinhardt sighed heavily. “He cried himself out,” he said. “Poor thing.” 

“It’s not your fault,” Brigitte said softly. 

Jesse very gently settled Hanzo into his enclosure, settling his limp body on one of the platforms and gently untying the magicked cord that Brigitte had subdued him with. “I know,” he said softly and closed the gate as the swan began to stir. 

As soon as he had closed the enclosure, Ana drew him into a tight hug. Brigitte and Reinhardt joined in and Jesse didn’t realize that he was crying until Reinhardt brushed away his tears with a surprisingly gentle hand. 

Later when Jesse caught his breath and Ana had finished preparing a calming drought for him, Genji, and Liv, they gathered in the dining room. Reinhardt made breakfast with food that Jesse knew for sure didn’t come from his refrigerator but he didn’t ask.

Breakfast was eaten in silence. 

“Now what?” Liv asked quietly. 

Genji shivered and Ana poured him another mug of her calming tea. “I...suppose I just have to keep trying.”

“I don’t know if a spell like this could be broken,” Brigitte said gently. “Not when he’s already so consumed.” 

“I need to try,” Genji said, his voice small. He looked at Jesse. 

Taking a deep breath, Jesse drank the rest of the tea in his mug. “Well,” he said shakily. “The chores won’t do themselves and I got a swan to feed.” he swallowed the lump in his throat. More tears can come later; he had the feeling that later that night he would be crying himself to sleep, chasing the scent of Hanzo on the sheets of his empty bed. He took another deep breath and nodded at Ana. “I’d much appreciate it if you’d make me another mug, please.” 

“You’d still care for him?” Reinhardt asked, an unreadable look on his face. 

Jesse looked at him. “Of course,” he said very quietly.  _ I love him _ , he almost added. He covered it up by fiddling with his mug, forgetting that he had drained it already. “What else would I do?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The quarry/sand pit they're at is based on a real place and the story of hypothermia was a story that my coworker told. His friend had gone dirt-biking and fell into one of the lake/lagoon/ponds and had died before he could get out of the water. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who commented and left kudos. They really do mean a lot to me even if I'm being quite cruel to you.
> 
> ~DC


	11. On What Wings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning:  
> Animal death (non-explicit)

The swan didn’t like melon which was good because it already hurt enough to see him – his markings and coloring as familiar to him as the shape of Hanzo’s human face, as familiar to him as his own – and know that…

…that…

The swan liked bananas so Jesse mashed a few daily to feed him and carried pallets of grass for him to graze on in Hanzo’s old enclosure.

The swan hated it. He hated the enclosure. He hated the small little pond. Jesse couldn’t open the door without him charging so he didn’t.

The swan didn’t need the soft-bristled brush because he could and did preen himself.

The swan didn’t have an issue with his wings, even a mental one, and could and did flap and flutter and fly around though he didn’t perch high in the tree like Hanzo had.

The swan wasn’t Hanzo.

But Jesse still loved him. And now he could admit it to himself freely. Even though he had so rarely even thought The Words to himself.

He, Jesse McCree, loved Hanzo. He loved Hanzo as a swan and he loved Hanzo as a man.

The swan wasn’t Hanzo but Jesse still loved him.

For the first few weeks after the accident, after finding the swan, Jesse didn’t go into the clinic and no one called him. Liv or Ana or Fareeha would visit him and Genji who still hadn’t left. They would sit vigil with him as he searched for answers in the bottom of a bottle.

He didn’t dare say the words out loud to them but he thought they understood – Genji especially.

At night his bed seemed emptier, colder. His house seemed to echo despite Genji’s presence.

Genji didn’t say anything about what happened but he talked. He did what Jesse used to do and filled the silence with prattle. He told Jesse (and by extension the swan) stories about hunts but refrained from saying the H-word. He always said “my brother” as if Jesse had never met him. As if he were an abstract concept.

He never said the L-word, either.

Time moved on but Jesse didn’t. Eventually he went back to work but he always spent his lunch breaks sitting silent vigil with the swan. He still fed it and doted on it as much as he could even though he’d get pecked for his troubles.

The pecks weren’t as hard as they had been when he had first met Hanzo though. Jesse refused to think about what that might mean.

Eventually the swan seemed to accept him. Jesse didn’t want to think too deeply about it. In this he was content enough to remain in denial.

He let Jesse come in and out of the enclosure without charging at him or the open doorway. Sometimes he would even play in the spray of the hose as Jesse changed the water in his pond.

A month and a half into Jesse’s new life like this, the swan rubbed his head and beak against Jesse’s knee and he broke down and cried. It was such a  _ Hanzo _ thing to do and despite the danger he crumpled to the ground and sobbed.

When he came to again, the swan had settled beside him and was preening his hair. It grunted, clearly pleased, when Jesse ran his fingers through the swan’s feathers with a hand that shook.

It’s not that things got better but at least they didn’t worsen.

“It’s unhealthy,” he heard one of the volunteers muttering one day in the clinic. “He acts like the swan-” she stopped, having seen him.

“We deal with grief in our own ways,” Ana said in a steely voice. Jesse hung his head and fled. She found him outside, running his fingers through pallets of grass and judging which he wanted to carry to the swan. “ _ Habibi _ ,” she murmured.

“Don’t,” Jesse said, picking one blindly. “They’re right.”

Frustratingly, Ana didn’t leave him alone, following him back to the house and the swan's enclosure. Her presence was soothing though he felt as if she weighed him. What did his heart appear to her? How would it weigh against the feather of truth in her eyes?

“We’re going out to lunch,” she announced when he had fed the swan. “Go get changed and bring that hellion with you.”

Jesse obeyed. So did Genji.

He was pleasantly surprised that Reinhardt joined them as did Brigitte. It felt wrong to smile so he didn’t and his face felt blank like an unfinished painting. No one commented on it and they talked around him quite as if his foul mood wasn’t sucking the overall mood of the table down like an anchor.

They began to have lunch like that more often. At night Genji could sometimes convince Jesse to go out but not always. It was always to a quiet diner or restaurant, nothing too loud.

Summer drew to a close. The autumn chill came in.

The swan wanted out.

Jesse watched his long neck arch as he traced the path of other birds across the sky. Sometimes he flew around his enclosure as if trying to follow.

Now when he visited, the swan would run up to him and flutter his wings, running back and forth across his enclosure as if to say  _ come with me, fly with me! _ Sometimes Jesse would run with him, holding his arms out like wings.

Sometimes he couldn’t breathe around the lump in his throat at the thought that the swan might leave him.

“It’ll be cold soon,” Genji told him one morning. Jesse was never entirely certain where he got his clothes as he never seemed to have more than a backpack with him and he had never asked. Now he wore a baggy hoodie and Jesse could see the faint green glow of his familiar through the fabric. “Are there heating pads we can use for him? Maybe one of those heated doghouses?”

Jesse watched the swan graze, frowning.

“I should start looking into that,” Genji added. “Heating spells were never my thing but I have a book that might have a few.”

“Swans are migratory,” Jesse said quietly.

Genji shrugged. “I have a friend that does illusions,” he offered. “I bet we can make him think he’s flown all that way.”

They fell silent and watched the swan pace. Jesse walked over to the bars and the swan immediately ran to him, wiggling his head between the bars to solicit caresses. Jesse obeyed the silent demand and stroked the long curve of the swan’s neck. His wings and feathers fluttered as if pleased by this worship and he arched his neck coquettishly.

“I miss him,” Genji whispered behind him and Jesse pretended not to hear. It was a special kind of torture to interact with the swan like this but he didn’t say that to Genji. “I keep thinking I’ll hear him lecturing me about practicing spells but…”

Jesse tried and failed to swallow the miserable lump that rose in his throat.

He watched the swan arch his neck, tracing the path of a flock of geese as they honked and glided across the sky in their signature V pattern. “I’m going to let him go,” he said over whatever story Genji was sharing.

“What?” Genji demanded.

It hurt to force the words out but deep down Jesse knew it was the right thing to do. Even if a part of him didn’t want it. “I’m going to let him go.”

He was yanked back. “Why?” Genji snapped. “So you can lose him again?”

Jesse flinched but steeled himself. “Is this really a way for him to live?”

Genji sneered. “At least he’s with us.”

“As what?” Jesse snapped, startling Genji into rocking back. “As a swan? You said yourself that he’s not coming back. He’ll never be a human again. Isn’t that what you said?”

Swallowing, Genji looked away. “Yes but…but there’s a chance…”

“There’s a chance  _ what _ ?” Jesse demanded, his voice rising. “At what cost could he come back?” Genji was tellingly silent and Jesse gestured sharply at the enclosure. “Swan or human he is caged. He doesn’t want to be there – doesn’t deserve that kind of life.”

“Maybe we could-” Genji began in a small voice.

Jesse scoffed. “What? We could what? Clip his wings?” He looked at the swan who had turned his head to watch them. Seeing him looking, the swan wobbled and twisted his head on his long neck. “He doesn’t deserve that.”

“So you’d just give up on him?” Genji asked, standing to loom over Jesse. His shaking hands were clenched at his sides. “You’d just turn him loose? I thought you loved him.”

Even Jesse, though anger burned white-hot beneath his skin, could see that Genji understood the weight of the words he had just uttered; he could see the look on Genji’s face when he realized that he had crossed a line.

Very slowly, Jesse stood up and gripped the front of Genji’s shirt. “I love your brother,” he said softly. “I always will. And it is because I love him that I…that I know that I have to let him go.”

Genji shoved him back. “Don’t touch me,” he sneered. “If you really loved him then why would you let him go when there’s still hope?”

“ _ Because he deserves better than a life in a cage _ ,” Jesse roared. There was a heavy silence after his outburst. He could hear the swan making soft little distressed noises and he went to the bars of the enclosure, holding both hands out to soothe him. The swan ran his beak over his palms as if searching for whatever ailed him. Jesse knew that he really was just looking for snacks.

Watching him, Jesse realized that his hands were shaking.

“What would you have me do?” Jesse asked softly. “Keep him in a cage forever? Clip his wings? No; Hanzo deserves better. He deserves a full life even if it’s without me.” The swan wiggled his head into Jesse’s hand and with a sad smile he stroked the seams of his beak and the smooth curve of his neck. “He deserves to find himself a nice mate that he can grow old with, whether he’s a swan or a man. I can’t do that for him in a cage. And you said it yourself, he doesn’t understand; his mind is animal, not human. He doesn’t know why he’s here only that he wants out.”

Genji spat on the ground. His green dragon familiar peeked out of the wide neck of his loose hoodie. It wiggled out and drifted over to Jesse who watched it warily. The other day a squirrel had gotten into the swan’s enclosure; the swan had proudly presented it to him when he returned for his lunch break, the little body broken from his vicious attack. He didn’t want to see if the swan did the same to this weird glowing thing and hoped that if it got close enough for the swan to attack it, that it was at least magical enough to escape.

The creature stopped just out of the swan’s reach and peered up at Jesse with glowing green eyes. 

“I thought you loved him,” Genji mocked and the creature twisted its head like an owl to look back at him. “Clearly you don’t because  _ I _ am not giving up on him!”

“Love isn’t a contest,” Jesse told him, glancing down at the familiar in front of him before turning back to the swan. He ran his beak over Jesse’s hands again and peered up at his face. He made a low gurgling noise low in his throat and fluttered his wings, tossing his head. “And I refuse to be pulled into a competition to prove to ourselves or each other how much we love Hanzo. Because I don’t doubt, not even for a second, that we both love him deeply.”

He looked at the little dragon rather than watch Genji and found that it had twisted its head back to watch him. Its expression was inscrutable, static and lizard-like.

“Love is also not selfish,” Jesse added without looking away from the dragon. “And that is exactly why we have kept him in a cage for so long.”

“We kept him because of  _ hope _ ,” Genji snapped back but even he sounded unsure. The dragon twisted its head to look at Genji again.

They fell silent. The swan’s head snapped up as another flock of geese honked as they flew overhead. He hissed and gurgled, fanning his wings. Then he settled and began preening, his motions jerky and impatient.

“What if I find a way to reverse it?” Genji asked, sounding much more defeated now. “I still need to believe that I might…”

“You said so yourself that there’s no going back,” Jesse said, his voice cracking. It was one thing to hear it and another to say the words himself. The dragon hopped over, moving like an iguana and rested a bird-like claw on his knee. From his enclosure the swan hissed and charged, running into the bars and snapping at the dragon. It skittered away as Jesse stroked the swan’s neck soothingly.

“Well I refuse,” Genji snapped, his voice brittle. The swan hissed as the green glow of his magic lit up the yard for a moment; when it faded, the bolt and lock of the enclosure shone as if lit from within. Jesse didn’t need to touch it to know that if he tried he would receive a nasty shock. At best it wouldn’t move.

Genji stomped away, leaving the little green dragon behind. A moment later the screen door closed.

The dragon cocked its head like a curious dog. It rose from the air, walking as if on solid ground, and approached the bolt and lock of the gate. As Jesse watched it breathed on the lock and the glow of Genji’s magic disappeared. Turning back around, the dragon walked up to Jesse who held his breath as it drew closer.

The dragon pressed its nose to his before disappearing. Shaking his head, Jesse went to soothe the swan who seemed extremely distressed by the dragon.

* * *

That night when Genji was sleeping Jesse crept back out to the enclosure. The swan grunted, pleased despite being woken up. He nipped at the jute cord that Jesse loosely wrapped around his body and protested with an annoyed hiss when Jesse tightened it around his wings to hold them shut.

The swan nipped at him and hissed, wiggling when he lifted the swan under his arm and carried him out. Jesse kept a hold of him, one arm around his neck and the other around his body, as he walked out on to the dock. The sand and mud at the edge were shockingly cold against his bare feet and the boards hardly much better but Jesse persisted.

He sat and very carefully arranged the swan in his lap as the dock swayed beneath them. “I feel stupid,” he admitted to the swan, staring out over the silver surface of the water. “But if this is the last time I will ever see you or talk to you, I ain’t wasting the moment.”

The swan seemed surprisingly content but it could be that he was warmer than the water. Jesse knew it was wishful thinking as the swan was most likely rather comfortable with his thick feathers and down. Aside from arching his neck down toward the water, the swan otherwise stayed put though he wiggled against the jute cord holding his wings shut.

“I think I’ll hate myself for the rest of my life,” Jesse admitted. “I was too late. You needed me and I failed you. And now…” he looked down. The swan had arched his neck to look at him. He shook his head and wiggled in his lap. “Now I’ve kept you prisoner longer than I should have. I just…I can’t seem to let you go.”

To his private shame, he felt hot tears streak down his face. He was trembling but it wasn’t from the cold.

“Fuck, sweetness,” he breathed around a sob. “I…I fucking miss you. I miss you so much. I wish I could cook dinner with you or fall asleep next to you. I wish that we could have broken the curse and I could have seen you in the daytime too.” For a few moments he sat there and cried, sobbing harder when the swan made concerned little grunts and ran his beak over Jesse’s face and through his messy hair. “But I’d done you a disservice and…well this isn’t what you would have wanted and I ain’t about to chain you no more.”

It was harder than he could have imagined to tug open the loose knot that held the swan’s wings shut. As the cords began to loosen, he felt the swan react, tugging his wings against the binds impatiently.

“Your brother’s gonna hate me,” Jesse added, holding just a little tighter one last time. “But this I gotta do. You deserve a good life and…and I love you enough to recognize that for that to happen I gotta let you go.” His hands trembled.

The swan wiggled and smoothed his beak over Jesse’s face. He stomped in Jesse’s lap, tugging against the remaining cords and Jesse’s arms. His neck arched, swinging between Jesse’s face and the sky and freedom just beyond his reach.

Jesse risked letting go with one hand, gently gripping the swan’s neck at the base of his head to bring it closer to his face. “It’s not…it’s not…” he shivered. “Fuck. Fuck baby, I love you so much.” The swan was pliant and strangely still as Jesse tugged his neck foward. Pressing a quick kiss to the swan’s beak – careful to not get bitten for his affection – Jesse released the swan.

The swan leaped back, arching his head toward the sky. He glided over the water, the last strands of the jute cord sliding off his feathers that seemed to glow like silver in the moonlight.

Wrapping his arms around himself, Jesse watched him go and felt as if his heart was shattering. As if with every beat of his big wings he stretched the thin thread between them. It was a new kind of hell to watch him leave, flying as if shot from a bow.

He rubbed at his eyes, one at a time so he could keep watching the swan. The swan tipped his wings, banking sharply around the reflection of the moon on the lake. The very tips of his wings touched the surface of the water, drawing white and silver streamers radiating outward like the rays of the sun.

Hitching a breath, Jesse watched as the swan glided back. He was too weak to keep himself from hoping that the swan was coming back for him but with each beat of his wings the swan’s new path didn’t deviate.

He was coming straight at Jesse.

Jesse couldn’t breathe and scrambled to his feet. The swan’s wings wobbled and then his neck arched.

He fell out of the sky, seeming to glow as luminous as the moon for a fraction of a second, before crashing into the water with a splash that was far too large to warrant a swan.

Bracing himself, Jesse rode out the dock’s bobbing, his heart thundering louder in his ears than the slap of the water.

A head appeared out of the lake, spraying and sputtering like a whale. With strong strokes of his arms, he swam toward the dock and toward Jesse who stared down at him, slack-jawed. It was only when he reached the edge of the docks and hooked his shivering arms over the edge that Jesse reacted, falling to his knees.

“Well?” Hanzo asked, his teeth chattering. His nose was pink, his lips bluish from the cold. There were streaks of white in his hair now in the same shade as his feathers.

With a shaking hand, Jesse reached down and cupped Hanzo’s cheek. “Am I dreaming?” he asked stupidly. Smiling, Hanzo wrapped a hand around Jesse’s wrist and  _ yanked _ .

Yelling, Jesse tipped into the water. “It’s cold!” he cried when he surfaced again. Wiping lake water from his eyes, Jesse looked at the man next to him who looked unbearably smug if terribly cold. “Hanzo?”

Hanzo laughed and tangled his fingers into the drenched fabric of his hoodie and yanked him closer. “Well?” he breathed against Jesse’s lips. Automatically, Jesse’s hands wrapped around Hanzo’s bare waist and he could feel how hard he shivered. “Are you going to warm me up?”

“Fuck,” Jesse choked out, tipping his head to rest it against Hanzo’s. “Fuck, sweetness I love you.”

The knot in his chest from holding back The Words loosened. Hanzo’s smile, though it trembled from cold and was ringed in blue, was brilliant.

“I love you too, dearest,” Hanzo breathed, tipping his head back for a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look out on my tumblr, [Classywastelandbread](https://classywastelandbread.tumblr.com/), for a bonus chapter about Ana. I know I kind of glossed over her. It won't be up for at least a few days but it will hopefully be finished soon. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone that has left kudos and comments. They really do mean a lot to me. 
> 
> ~DC


	12. A Happy Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings in no particular order [cracks knuckles]:  
> Pegging  
> Repercussions of being stuck as a swan   
> Oral sex  
> Some dirty talk  
> Ring gags  
> Orgasm delay  
> Prostate massager  
> Hobble belt  
> Bondage  
> Monster dildo  
> Post-coital laziness  
> Genji and Liv needing brain bleach

Hanzo sighed as he leaned back against the headboard. It was such a novel thing to have been out during the day. Jesse had been kind enough to take him out to run errands, the first stop being a lavender farm an hour away.

Quite against Jesse’s wishes, Hanzo had insisted on visiting the Ogundimu clan nearest them. Jesse commented on the convenience that everyone seemed to be within driving distance. Hanzo had laughed. 

He hadn’t wanted to but he felt that the matriarch of the Ogundimu clan needed to know what had happened to her grandson. What he got instead was a hearty dinner and a demand to know the whole story...about Hanzo and Jesse, not Akande. 

“True love’s kiss,”  _ Iya-iya _ had said with a wise nod. Those present all nodded as well as if it were expected. 

A younger cousin (or so Jesse guessed) said, “Perhaps Akande thought he loved you too?”

Hanzo made a face. “Or perhaps he loved power and kissing me would give it to him,” he said bitterly. The family all nodded solemnly. 

“I like you,” the matriarch of the clan said, jabbing a gnarled finger at Jesse. “You should bring Hanzo back again, sometime. He doesn’t visit us enough.” 

Jesse had blushed. Hanzo had laughed. 

As they said their goodbyes and climbed back into the truck Jesse asked what had happened to Akande. Hanzo shrugged. “Don’t ask,” he advised. “I did not kill him, though. But he will forever bear my scars. His family will always remember his sins.”

Frowning, Jesse had driven them back to the rescue. “Isn’t that cruel?” he asked quietly. 

“Better that I didn’t steal his magic from him,” Hanzo replied. “Better that I didn’t steal a part of him and keep it as my own as he would have done to me. No. He is in a coma but he will heal. The Ogundimu healers are among the best. Next to Ana, of course.” 

Grunting, Hanzo looked down. “Darling,” he said, cupping Jesse’s cheek in one hand. “What a mess you’re making.” He trailed his fingers in the puddle of drool that wet the crease where his thigh met hip and stuck his fingers in Jesse’s mouth through the ring gag that kept it pried open. 

Lifting his other hand, Hanzo wiggled the remote at Jesse, making sure he saw it before thumbing the dial. The moan that Jesse let out jumped rapidly in pitch the further Hanzo turned the dial, sending pleasant rumbles against Hanzo’s sensitive skin. 

Jesse wailed, his eyes rolling as he jolted, bucking into the air, into the bed. His frantic movements mashed his face into Hanzo’s hips, his lips loose as he drooled thick strands of saliva over Hanzo’s feathers. 

Taking pity on him (or from another perspective, wanting to ease him more) Hanzo turned the entire thing off and watched Jesse's back as he heaved for breath, twitching and desperate. “You’re going to have to help me preen,” he said when Jesse rolled his head to look up at Hanzo with adoring eyes. “You’re making such a mess.” 

With Jesse’s eyes on him, he ran his fingers gently along his navel, toying with the cream-colored feathers there. Ana had said that they more resembled emu feathers with two rachides attached to a single shaft and short barbs so that they more resembled fur than feathers. They replaced the hair on his body from his navel to his knees and though Hanzo was at first disturbed by it, it didn’t seem to bother Jesse that much. 

“Heesh,” Jesse said around the ring gag. His eyes were red-rimmed with tears of overstimulation, his lashes clumped and spiky. “Heesh.”

Smiling, Hanzo helped him to his knees, watching Jesse’s red and leaking cock bob in the air. “You’re so pretty like this,” Hanzo murmured, running his fingers over the cords of rope criss-crossing over Jesse’s chest and plucked at his nipples. He let one hand slide down to roll Jesse’s balls in his hand, squeezing them gently and toying with the mean little ring that kept them hanging, kept Jesse from coming. 

He lifted his other hand, sliding two fingers into Jesse’s pried open mouth. He sighed when Jesse lapped wetly at his fingers, thick strands of drool sliding in hot lines down his fingers and palm. 

“You’re beautiful like this,” Hanzo breathed and Jesse groaned against his fingers, trying to urge them deeper with pulls of his tongue. He whined when Hanzo pulled them out. “Shh,” Hanzo breathed, rubbing his spit-slick fingers along Jesse’s chest. He pinched one of Jesse’s nipples, making him buck into the air and wobble, off-balance as the bed moved with him. “Let me take care of you,  _ sweetness _ .” 

Jesse’s eyes fluttered and when they opened again, they were filled with a kind of adoration that made something in Hanzo’s chest clench. 

“Lahh yohh,” Jesse said as well as he could around his gag and Hanzo leaned down to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“I love you too,  _ sweetness _ ,” Hanzo said, just to see the full-body shiver the pet name elicited. He sighed and leaned back against the headboard. Spreading his legs suggestively, he watched smugly as Jesse’s eyes zoomed in on his hard cock, on the slick wetting his thighs. He let his fingers slide down, wrapping two of them around his cock, groaning theatrically as he gave himself a stroke. “Why don’t you show me what that pretty mouth of yours can do?” 

Jesse wobbled as he tried to lean over, his shoulders and arms tugging against the ropes that bound his upper arms to his sides. He wasn’t quite so flexible (yet) to be able to cross his wrists behind his back and Hanzo didn’t want to hurt his dear one of course, so they had improvised. The result was a harness that let Jesse move his arms somewhat but not enough to comfortably brace himself or use his arms for very much. 

Very carefully Jesse leaned down and nearly fell face-first into Hanzo’s pelvis. His mouth and the metal ring gag dug into Hanzo’s skin and he grunted, running his hands reassuringly through Jesse’s hair. 

“Good boy,” he breathed as Jesse shuffled, moving his mouth to where Hanzo wanted it, gently easing it and the gag over Hanzo’s cock. “Good boy,” he breathed again, sighing as he leaned back against the headboard. 

With Jesse’s lips and mouth stretched around the gag he could do little more than tongue at Hanzo’s cock, more spit dribbling down along Hanzo’s pelvis. It blended with his own slick which if Jesse had his hands free, he would be playing with, would sink his fingers inside and crook them to find the spot that made Hanzo’s eyes cross.

But this was to tease Jesse as much as it was to tease Hanzo. He’d never had a partner so eager to get their mouth on Hanzo and he relished it, at the little frustrated grunts that Jesse gave as he licked and pet his tongue against Hanzo’s cock. 

Sure that Jesse had quite forgotten about the prostate massager, Hanzo found the remote and clicked it on, groaning at the vibrations from Jesse’s yell. Jesse groaned and whimpered, his tongue lapping wetly at Hanzo’s cock as he bucked back, shaking his hips as Hanzo switched the settings on the prostate massager so that it pulsed unevenly. 

“Fuck,” Hanzo breathed, tipping his head back and arching his back and bucking his hips into Jesse’s mouth. “Fuck, Jesse, I’m close.” 

Jesse keened, groaned, growled, his messy laps of his tongue against Hanzo’s cock as irregular as the vibrations of the prostate massager. But Hanzo didn’t think it was deliberate, that he was simply being driven crazy by the pulses of the machine in him, how it seemed to move in him as he wiggled. 

One last lap of Jesse’s tongue and Hanzo was coming, gasping for breath as Jesse seemed to catch on and curled his tongue around Hanzo’s cock, laved it over his sensitive underside, stuck his tongue out as far as he could to play with his piercing. Hanzo rode it out with a fist in Jesse’s hair, probably gripping him too tightly but Jesse didn’t complain, didn’t tap out or use his non-verbal safe word. He groaned from deep down in his chest, his tongue toying with the piercing until Hanzo was twitching in aftershocks. 

“Sorry,” Hanzo gasped in a cracked voice, releasing his grip on Jesse’s hair and smoothing his fingers over Jesse’s scalp. He fumbled for the remote and turned the prostate massager off as Jesse wiggled awkwardly. Though his limbs still tingled pleasantly, Hanzo looked down at Jesse.

Taking a deep breath, Hanzo helped him back to his knees, making a face at the thick spit and slick that wet his thighs almost to his knees. He brushed a finger along Jesse’s bottom lip, catching a line of drool.

“One for red, two for yellow, three for green,” he said, his voice a little raspy. 

Jesse’s throat worked; he snapped twice. Hanzo gently reached behind his head and tugged the buckle open, easing the ring gag out of Jesse’s mouth and putting it aside. His hands immediately went to Jesse’s jaw, massaging his cheeks and along his mandible.

“Fuck,” Jesse said roughly and Hanzo leaned in for a kiss, careful to keep it chaste so he wouldn’t give in to temptation. 

“Do you need a moment?” Hanzo asked, leaning back to look into Jesse’s eyes. “Water?” 

Jesse’s mouth worked and he licked his lips. “Yeah,” he agreed. “Water would be great.” 

Leaning in for one last kiss, Hanzo climbed out of bed, digging around under the bed for the case they kept under there. He pulled out a bottle and cracked it open, gently pressing it against Jesse’s mouth. It took some concentration to let a slow trickle into Jesse’s mouth and Hanzo focused on that and not the excitement still burning low in his belly. 

When Jesse closed his mouth Hanzo capped the water and put it on the bedside table. “How are your arms?” 

“My shoulders might be a little stiff,” Jesse admitted. 

Kissing his cheek, Hanzo got to untying him, rubbing Jesse’s arms and shoulders gently to help alleviate some of the ache. 

Jesse whined. “That’s not what I meant,” he complained even as he sighed in relief as Hanzo pressed his thumb into his deltoid and trapezius muscles. 

“Still,” Hanzo said, pressing a kiss to the back of Jesse’s neck which made him shiver. “I don’t want you to hurt yourself. We can work up to keeping you there longer.”

“It was just an awkward position,” Jesse explained.

Hanzo hummed and pressed a kiss behind his ear, making Jesse shiver again. “Then we’ll work on that too,” he whispered into Jesse’s ear. “What is your color, sweetness?”

Jesse shivered again. “Green,” he breathed. “Green, green, green, darlin’.” 

Smiling, Hanzo pressed another kiss into Jesse’s neck. “Get in bed,” he said. “Find the position you would like to be fucked.” 

He stepped away, relishing the broken whimper Jesse released at that. Looking away for a moment, Hanzo found his harness and the toy he had set aside for just this occasion. Jesse had ordered the harness for him while he was still a swan and Hanzo loved the idea of Jesse being desperate enough to be fucked into the mattress that he had ordered it while doing paperwork in the clinic. 

When he turned back around, he found Jesse on his back, his knees bent and his feet flat on the bed. Both legs were spread, giving Hanzo a good look at his red cock, drooling sticky strings of precum on his hair belly, the cruel ring that pulled at Jesse’s balls to tease him, at his slick hole and the flared base of the prostate massager still in him. 

“Beautiful,” Hanzo breathed. 

Carefully, Jesse let his hand trail down his chest, running his fingers through the hair there. He cupped his cock and when Hanzo didn’t scold him gently gave it a stroke. He brushed his fingers against the ring but made no other move toward it, teasing himself just to hear the way Hanzo’s breath hitched. 

Hanzo licked his lips and let Jesse watch, touching himself as he slid the harness on, brushing his feathers flat so that they wouldn’t get caught in the straps as he moved. Finding the lube and the hobble belt hanging from a corner of the headboard, Hanzo climbed in bed to straddle Jesse’s waist; Jesse lifted his arms away with a reluctant whine but his eyes were wide and eager as they rested on the belt, his arms crossing over his head without being asked. 

Leaning down, Hanzo kissed Jesse deeply as he looped the belt around Jesse’s wrists and the vertical slats of the headboard. He fastened them loosely, more of a reminder that Jesse could keep his hands there than actually tying him down but Jesse treated it just as seriously, moving his wrists and arms and getting into a comfortable position. Done and meeting Jesse’s approval, Hanzo leaned down and kissed him gently, shivers of excitement running down his spine. 

He slid off of Jesse and dug around in the discreet little box he had carried in with him. Making sure that Jesse was watching him, he pulled out his surprise and felt a little thrill run down his spine at the way that Jesse’s eyes widened. 

The toy was a monster - literally. Fashioned only in the vaguest sense like a phallus, it was decorated with ridges and nubs and odd bulges that would rub in the best, most tantalizing ways all over. 

It wasn’t  _ technically _ designed for a harness but Hanzo could and did cheat, using a touch of magic to get the silicone to connect to the ring as securely as if it were made for it. 

“Fuck me,” Jesse croaked hoarsely, looking a confusing mix of eager and terrified. 

Leaning down, Hanzo kissed him gently. “That’s the idea, beloved,” he whispered huskily into Jesse’s ear, leaning down to nip at his earlobe. “What’s your color?” 

Jesse didn’t answer for so long that Hanzo was concerned and began to lean away. “Green,” Jesse blurted, his eyes still on the way the toy bobbed with Hanzo’s motions. It was large and intimidating but not so intimidating that it might be impossible. “Green, green, green,  _ fuck _ , baby please.” 

Smiling, Hanzo kissed him again and slid down, hooking an arm behind one of Jesse’s legs and hoisting it up. With his other hand he played with the base of the prostate massager, bumping it with the heel of his hand just to hear the cracked whimper that Jesse let out. 

Deciding against being much crueler Hanzo wrapped his fingers around the base and gently rocked it out, unable to resist one last tease. The prostate massager was put on the side as Hanzo contemplated the cock ring. 

He tapped the ring and smiled sweetly at Jesse. “This stays on for a little longer,” he said and Jesse whimpered. His cock drooled against his belly. “I want to fuck you on this,” he continued, running a finger along the tight skin of Jesse’s balls. “I want you to feel how nice it is in you and  _ then _ you can come on it.” 

Jesse’s mouth dropped open, his eyes glazed a little. “ _ Please _ ,” he croaked. “Please, sweet pea, sugarbean, please, please, please.” 

Grabbing the lube, Hanzo drizzled some on Jesse’s cock, letting it slide in tickling trails down to Jesse’s hole. He drizzled more on the monster cock, careful to rub it into every nook and cranny, making sure that Jesse watched him stroke the ridged and ribbed length. Then he slid his fingers into Jesse, pushing more lube in just in case.

Even though Jesse was already dripping with it. 

“Just in case,” he added, curling his fingers to push against Jesse’s prostate; the belts groaned as Jesse jerked, bucking as if shocked. Hanzo licked his lips and wiggled two more fingers in, watching Jesse’s hole stretch to accommodate them. 

“Please!” Jesse cried, bucking down on Hanzo’s fingers. His cock was red, drooling, and a puddle had formed on his stomach. 

Leaning down, Hanzo kissed his cheek. “Of course,” he breathed, almost as eager as Jesse himself. Lifting Jesse’s hips and tucking a pillow beneath it, Hanzo let the tip of the toy tease at Jesse’s hole before hunching his hips. The very tip of it popped in and Jesse let out a broken noise, arching his back and neck.

Hanzo slowly rocked the toy in, adding more lube with each slide. The bed was a mess anyway; there was no reason to worry about making it messier now. 

As he rocked deeper, watched the obscene stretch of Jesse’s rim around the toy, Hanzo cut careful glances to Jesse’s face. His eyes were wide, his mouth loose and slack as if shocked that he was doing it, that he was taking it. Hanzo could see him reacting to the ridges and bumps in a series of little shudders as he worked the toy deeper. 

By the time Hanzo’s pelvis met Jesse’s ass and the toy was in all the way to the hilt, Hanzo was breathing nearly as hard as Jesse was. He could feel his slick nearly dripping down his thighs and considered getting himself a toy but decided against it. He didn’t want to be distracted, not even a little, from the way Jesse’s eyes fluttered as he rolled his hips, at the way he arched and gripped at the belt binding his hands above his head. 

“When you’re ready,” Hanzo managed to gasp out. He touched the ring around Jesse’s cock and balls, making him whimper. 

Jesse licked his lips, worked his jaw a few times. “ _ Please _ ,” he groaned and Hanzo echoed him when he saw the way Jesse’s hole clenched around the toy. He didn’t seem coherent, as if completely unable to grasp anything other than  _ please _ . 

Hefting his leg up higher, Hanzo started a slow and steady pace, letting Jesse get used to the delectable movement of ridges and bumps moving around. When Jesse whined, the leather of his hobble belt creaking, Hanzo bucked deeper and was rewarded with a shout that cracked halfway through, Jesse’s eyes rolling back as he arched his back and neck so prettily. 

Leaning down, Hanzo adjusted his stance and put his weight into the thrusts, increasing his tempo until he pounded roughly into Jesse who continued to babble incoherently. Growling, Hanzo leaned in and nipped roughly at Jesse’s neck, making his voice break.

Reaching down, Hanzo fumbled with the ring, around Jesse’s cock and balls. “You’re taking it so good,” he hissed into Jesse’s neck. “Taking it so good. I wonder how large we can go? What else can you take?” He made a breathless, triumphant sound when he found the buckle and worked it open. Jesse made a sound like a sob. “Can you come like this, beautiful boy?”

Jesse nodded, his entire body shaking with the force of Hanzo’s thrusts. Drool escaped his open mouth and his arms jerked as if he kept forgetting that his hands were bound. His eyes were wide and seemed to stare right through Hanzo.

“Yes,” Hanzo growled, nipping roughly at Jesse’s neck. The buckle finally gave way. “Will you come for me,  _ sweetness? _ Will you come on my monster cock?” 

He leaned back just in time, just enough to watch Jesse’s back arch and undulate like a wave as if unsure whether to buck down on Hanzo’s punishing thrusts or away. At first he nearly didn’t feel the hot pulses of come hitting his belly and belatedly reached down to milk Jesse through it. Jesse screamed or seemed to try to, his voice breaking halfway through. 

Hanzo slowed down, breathing hard as if he had run a marathon. Slowly he slid out, biting his lip as arousal thundered through him. Jesse’s hole was left nearly gaping, slick and pink and so tempting to just fuck into him again. 

He yanked the harness off of him and let Jesse’s leg fall. Reaching down, his fingers found his cock. It only took a few more strokes before he was coming harder than he had ever remembered coming before, sticky with sweat and come and lube while Jesse watched him, eyes eyes half-lidded and his mouth lolling open as if he couldn’t even find it in himself to close it. 

Trembling, Hanzo  _ meant _ to lean over and undo the belt but his limbs were too shaky. Instead he snapped his fingers - taking a few attempts before he could do it - and the belt disintegrated. Jesse’s eyes fluttered and he made a weak noise of protest.

“I’ll get it back,” Hanzo said roughly. Another snap of his fingers brought a damp cloth which he used to clean himself and Jesse off. Or rather, it cleaned away the come and lube but did nothing for the thin layer of sweat they both had. 

His limbs still shook as he settled down beside Jesse. Tragically it was in a damp spot and he made a noise in protest. Pushing himself back to his feet, he grunted when Jesse pawed at him. 

“Couch,” he said hoarsely. Jesse made a noise of protest. “The sheets are gross.” 

Jesse levered himself to his feet, wobbly but steady. His neck was a mess of dark bruises and Hanzo felt a possessive thrill run through him at the sight. He walked with a slight limp and Hanzo couldn’t his smirk at it. As if sensing his thoughts, Jesse winked at him. 

Flinging away the cushions, Jesse and Hanzo pulled out the bed, grabbed a few blankets from the hall closet, and collapsed on top of it, tangling around each other like they belonged. 

“We do,” Jesse murmured in a rough voice into Hanzo’s hair. He leaned down and kissed Hanzo sweetly. “Belong together.” 

Hanzo snorted. “Two idiots in love.” It was still such a novel thing to be able to say it so easily, without fighting a curse, without the fear of rejection. The words came so easily now and he leaned close. “I love you.” 

“I love you too,” Jesse murmured back, tucking his arm into the small of Hanzo’s back and tugging him closer. 

The front door was kicked open and they both sighed in unison. 

“ _ What the fuck _ ,” Genji snapped. “That fucking couch pulled out this entire time?”

Jesse and Hanzo twisted to look at him. Liv took one look at them and about-faced without another word. It took Genji a little bit longer to notice. 

“You’re naked under that blanket aren’t you?” he asked flatly. “Fuck, no, nope, nuh-uh, don’t tell me, I don’t wanna know. I’m going to go and drown myself in the lake. Thanks.” 

In typical form Genji didn’t even close the door but a flick of Hanzo’s fingers fixed that. It was locked too. “I love seeing you do that,” Jesse whispered, leaning in to press a kiss to Hanzo’s throat.

He flinched back, ticklish and smiled at Jesse. “I love you,” he whispered, taking great joy in being able to say it so easily. He hoped that the novelty didn’t wear off. 

Jesse smiled and kissed him deeply. “I love you too.” Curling up together, they fell asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have foolishly stayed up far too late and I have a performance tomorrow. Great.
> 
> Anyway, thank you to everyone that has made it all the way to the end. Thank you to everyone that left comments and kudos! I really appreciate hearing from you all. 
> 
> We did it. Hopefully this chapter makes up for the rest of what I put you through. 
> 
> ~DC

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to come and yell at me on my tumblr at [Classywastelandbread](https://classywastelandbread.tumblr.com). 
> 
> ~DC


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